Sorry to hear you are having this difficulty. Marriage can be hard and particularly so when communication is not good. I'm guessing that seeing a counselor is something your husband won't do with you? It could really be helpful to get help from an experienced psychologist who can help improve communication between you two
Walking on egg shells is difficult. This sounds like the position you are in. He probably has his own story to tell from his side. What is a the root of your issues? I get that you can't talk but is there something you have differences of opinion on that keeps coming up? What is the basis of 'needing' to talk? Is it just every day chatter that he isn't interested in or is it problems you are trying to discuss?
I think maybe you can try to do things with your friends instead with your husband. also try talk to your other friends about your things instead talk to your husband. Leave your husband alone for a while and see how the things going. Hope that advise can help you. Hugs.
When someone is out of control with anger and uses it to keep their partner off balance, and/or blames their partner for things that shouldn't be the partner's fault, that is a bad sign. I think this will get worse and not better. i suggest you go see a counselor (your husband doesn't have to go, and in fact if he wants to know why you are going, say you're trying to work out better communication patterns so you won't make him mad all the time, he'll probably go for that). Explain to the counselor what is going on as exactly as you can, without any sweeping generalizations or in any way trying to make yourself look in the right and him in the wrong, just as truthful a recounting of specific incidents as you can do. Then see what the counselor says. It should give you some idea of whether you are at fault in some way because of the way you talk to your husband or if he is just an out=of-control guy with no anger-management skills.
I also think that you should approach a personal therapist with objectivity, and plan to acquire the tools to change what's happening in your relationship keeping in mind that if your husband is not interested in therapy to save the marriage after you've put in time to affect change, that in itself shows his lack of commitment to the marriage. Please keep your post alive by letting us know how you're doing. It sometimes helps to use the journal page on your profile , public or private : to help you gain perspective and help you to move forward for a more peaceful life - the name of the game.
Honestly, it sounds like your being groomed. In other words, he's getting violently angry with you to scare you into submission, and that does not a marriage make. Often, men like that will end up hitting their women, because a) they never truly respected their women in the first place and it showed by their complete lack of patience, and b) they end up hitting their wives, because their misogynists. I did this with my first. I was only in it in the first place (before he hit me and only showed anger) because i came from an abusive home. Had i not, I never would have been with him. I think you need to look at why this is happening as there is a root cause and it may have zero to have to do with you. After he destroyed me, he was happy to let me go and try again with the next. There's a pattern with abusive impatient men. Make sure you know who it is you're really married to. Does he like the real you? Does he have room in his life for the real you? Or is he looking for a type of women that will do as he wishes ? I'm so glad i found my way to freedom. NOBODY SHOULD EVER HAVE TO WALK ON EGGSHELLS WITH THEIR PARTNER OR IN THEIR FAMILY. LIFE IS TOO SHORT .
Hey. I'm so sorry you're in this situation because it might seem like you're in the blind street with no possible exits, but know that there's always a way out. Please note that it is hard to assess the situation without hearing from both sides (and this is in no way blaming you), and if you would want to leave him I would recommend it to you immediately as you are very young and it would be easy for you to bounce back, but since it's not an option - here's my take on it:
- Men (in general) talk less then women, therefore they get annoyed if someone is talking alot and about the subjects that don't concern them. Is he annoyed by literally everything you say, or just certain topics? If you know that there are topics he doesn't like and doesn't want to hear about, don't bring them up. I know that I hate when (for example) my friend is talking about another person all the time and I hate hearing it and it annoys me that I have to constantly tell her to stop bringing it up, so I lash out. I'm not saying you do the same thing, I'm just giving you a perspective. Try finding subjects you are both interested in and talk about those. Let him trigger the conversation first.
- The fact that you are always around each other can lead to over saturation. I know how it is to move far away. I had to change countries, new people, new language, new mentality. And my husband was everything in my life: My only friend, my lover y family. That can be a burden on him and you both. It is bad feeling knowing you have only 1 person and that you depend on them so much. At least there is no language barrier in your case. Find a job, find an activity you like (whether it's swimming, archery, dancing, a craft), you will meet bunch of people there with whom you will have at least one thing in common you know for sure: the activity you both partake in. Make them your friend, and your confidant. Go out with them. Make your husband miss you, and miss the little annoyances he had when you wanted to talk to him. Don't be scared to try new things and meet new people.
- Enjoy the silence together. Open the bottle of wine, enjoy a film together (refrain from commenting on it, or explaining the plot. Men hate that. Actually, everyone hates that) and enjoy being around each other. Feel each other and enjoy the silence.
- He seems to be tense and maybe stressed and frustrated about something. Ask him about his job. Let him open up about his problems. Usually people who hold alot inside can get frustrated and annoyed when hearing about other things they find menial, while they have alot to deal with and alot to tell but don't have who to do it with. So let him talk and offer consolation words. If he talks about his issues avoid sentences that start with "I want..." "Me" "What about myself, I did this...". Let this be about him.
- Stop apologizing. It is not your bad or your fault for wanting to communicate with your husband. Make him know this, and let him feel guilty for being an *** instead. Stand your ground.
You say he doesn't want to go to therapy, what about couples counseling? Tell him your marriage is still at its infancy and it is important to know how to communicate in these early stages. Counselor might help you great deal with this. Also let him know you don't want him acting like that when baby comes cause you don't want your baby to hear him talking this way to you and lashing out at you in front of it, cause children pick on their parents' behaviours rather fast.