I have known him since I was 17, and in 4 years we have been fighting, breaking up, and getting back together. Everything started perfect, he was perfect, to a point that I felt guilty if I didn’t love him back. But then things got so much more complicated and heated, in 2009 after a physical fight, I left the country for 4 months. He contacted me and for a moment I thought things went back to normal, like how it was in the beginning when we could talk, joke and laugh and he was not just my love, but also my best friend. But since then, we were still breaking up and back together…and it seems like his problem with me is that I put all my pressure on him. I don’t even know what my problem with him is but I just feel insecure…all the time. Lately, I feel despaired in him, for whatever reason that made me do so much for him these past months, I have really done enough. Except he doesn’t even appreciate anything…yes he cares for me and has been there for me. But a few days ago we had another fight, and when I came back, I found out on his phone that he texted another girl, it was only one sentence but intuitively I dialled that number at 2 am and found out he asked out a 33 year old woman on the street….after the phone call, I felt stroke by lightning….perhaps he heard the phone call, perhaps he was drunk….he mumbled ‘i swear to god i didn’t do anything.’
I really don’t understand…after everything we’ve been through, after how I put aside my life to help him to make his life better … I’ve been there, the world knows. Minutes before, he’d tell me that he liked looking at me when I was finishing my school paper, he’d kiss me on the cheek and sing to me. Minutes later, I found out about this. Yes it happened during our last fight days before, yes they didn’t even go out yet. But…I felt my heart was done. We had another fight, I didn’t even bother to clarify the problem.
Even that morning, I found out that he signed up for the facebook of sex with his real photo and information...I really don't know what else I can do...I just feel like suddenly I don't know who he is anymore...
But now… why am I still helping him… with his work, his court cases, with his life….? Am I that stupid?
Go to a local womans shelter you will get free abuse counseling-they will tell you what to do. THERE is a REASON that woman like you and I accept these men to begin with.
Love,
Ingrid