Whether i could change or not ?

[manlokish]

Hi,

Is it possible to change from this homosexuality permanently or partly ? I think its added in my blood, i got married but still i am having the same thaught to do sex with boys, is this the birth problem ? if not is there is any other way to change completely from this ? ( like using tablets, injection etc )

[manlokish]

Thanks ashelen, i feel little bit ok after your advice.

[manlokish]

either boy's or grown men, i am interested in male only.....


and ashelen, sure ill take ur adivce and follow that, coz i want to live my life on my own way, i cant act infront of all everyday,

if god is somewhere listening to us, he should not create a creature like me. human without eyes, leg, hand can also live happly in this world, but people like us where struggling like anything in our countries,

soon some revolution needs to happen on this coz lots of people missing their real life and acting day to day.

[RockRose]

manlokish,  this is up to you how you want to live your life.    

If you want to continue to pretend to be heterosexual at this point,  it will likely work for you throughout your 20's and 30's,  but once you enter your 40's and 50's,  it's likely you will be unable to resist your true sexual nature.  

I don't think you responded whether you want to have sex with men or boys (as you said in your first post)  when you were asked.  If you want to have sex with boys,  instead of grown men,  I think you will have less success resisting your urges because boys are more available than men.

It's really up to you.  Do you want to deny your sexuality and live a great (but sexually unfulfilled life) or do you want to live a very sexually fulfilling life and be at risk for beatings,  murder,  criminal charges,  etc.

God bless you.

[Ashelen]

It's been a very long struggle to get where we are in the U.S. as far as accepting homosexuality, and even so there are still people who are close-minded, but you would certainly not be killed or maimed for being homosexual here. Have you considered moving, like specialmom suggested? There are many countries closer than the U.S. where homosexuality is accepted and you would be free to be yourself.

No matter what you choose to do, I think it's very important that you get some therapy to deal with all the heartache and depression in your mind right now. I wish you the very best of luck and I hope that you find peace with your life no matter what you choose to do with it....but remember you DO have choices. As long as you're still breathing there's always a chance to make each day what you want it to be...and the first step is getting some professional therapy and trying to treat your depression so you can see things clearly.

Good luck

[manlokish]

Hi Good evening to u, now in india its mrng 8.30am,

Really thanks for your advice, sure ill follow as u have told, i am unlucky born in india wit this issue, people born in us are lucky coz u people respecting for human feelings and knowledgable too.

[specialmom]

Do they have therapists in your country sir?  I think that any time we are depressed and the thought crosses our mind to hurt ourselves, we have to talk about it to a professional. It is important.  Depression is treatable and it is important to do so.  For this, there is definately a pill.  Your general doctor or a psychiatrist would help you with this.  You MUST do that.  Life can be very overwhelming if we are trying to get through it under the cloud of depression.  Treat the depression, lift the cloud and then we can deal with our problems.

Your confusion over sexuality is something that others do have as well.  Again, I think a professional that you could open up to and talk to about it would be so helpful.  I feel terrible for your internal conflict.  No.  It is not like that in our country.  You may have some bad folks that are judgemental but here you find many accepting of others and you can live as you choose.   Maybe leaving your country?  Okay, that is just me thinking out loud---------------  but it is an option to leave for a more open country.

And this confusion you have is clouded by your depression.  You'll at least be able to think straight about things if you treat your depression.  I beg you to do so.  I wish you the best.

[manlokish]

No ashelen, my mind is very very depressed, and people here are really not understanding the birth like us, they looking us in a different and cheper thoughts, i dont know ya, ill try to survive up to my last try, some time if i become very depressed, ill do that my dear friend, here the people not like your country, here they will degrade us.

[Ashelen]

Please don't do it. Please do not consider it. you have so much ahead of you....you have so many things you can do to change your life and to make things better. You have people who love you and people who want to see you grow and change and they want to share your life with them.

homosexuality is accepted in many other countries in the world. please consider that you are not alone. please remember that there are people out in the world who will accept you and things are NOT hopeless!

[manlokish]

And to be frank i would like to say something with u, since u r frm diffrent country, i planned to sucide soon aselene.

[manlokish]

oh very nice, how people in your country treat people like us aselene.

[Ashelen]

The U.S.

[manlokish]

From which country you are replying me ashelen ?

[Ashelen]

well then you're in a very difficult bind...because from all I understand about homosexuality there's no magic pill or magic word to say that will make you no longer desire men. and if you're in love with another man specifically, that's an even different problem. I would say that if therapy is an option for you...it's the best thing you can do right now. you need to find someone safe, someone who can help you sort out your life...someone who can help you make this decision.

if not, the only other option you have is to pick up and leave your wife without telling her and run off with this man to another country...it doesn't sound very appealing, but if you can't talk to her about it but you're in love with this man and can't ever see yourself putting him behind you to focus on your wife...you're stuck.

I know you've got to be torn in so many directions right now and I am very sorry to know that you're hurting this bad :(. I wish I had some sort of magical advice for you, but the culture in your country makes it difficult because from what I know of India you will have a hard time being accepted if EVER....so you have few options. I realize that speaking to your family is not an option...do you have any friends you trust? or any religious leaders who you could trust to keep your secret and yet help counsel you? I doubt they're going to be able to convince you not to be homosexual anymore, but they may have some words that help you sort out the confusion in your mind.

[manlokish]

1,
do you find women attractive as well? ........... yes a little if they r in my taste

2.
could you be faithful to your wife despite these sexual desires..... ya little bit coz she was not my taste ( sorry to say that)

3.
or do you honestly feel like your marriage is going nowhere because you are not attracted to her? ...... she likes me a lot but i am not interested, i am loving another boy @ my same age for the past 5 yrs.

4.
do you have children together? .... no we just a month back got married

5.
does she know you feel this way? ...... no she doesnt

6.
you may want to open up to her........ no i dont want to

[manlokish]

Ya ashelen, i am from india only, people here treating us like aliens, really its hurting a lot, because of this and also for my parents i got married a girl, but now i felt that i have amade a big mistake, really i ashamed myself of my birth.

[Ashelen]

Oh dear..I'm very sorry you're having this dilemma. I wish I had an answer for you; all I can do is share a similar story. First off I assume you mean that you want to have sex with men, not boys.

my brother-in-law is married and has two children, and he recently came out of the closet (admitted that he's gay). He and his wife agreed to split and were in the process of filing for divorce. however, family and religious pressure forced him to change his mind and now he and his wife are living together as partners...which would be fine, but his wife is convinced that he will "get over it" one day...however, he says he is truly gay and will never be anything BUT gay, but he loves his wife as a friend and doesn't want to hurt her. so they live one big lie..one that he is not happy with and doesn't ever foresee being happy with.

so I know that their life together is very hard now...and I truly believe int he future that things will fall apart and that they will be forced to go their separate ways.My brother-in-law says that he was born this way and that he has been attracted to men all his life..he just didn't realize it until he was older and he realized that while his friends were interested in girls, he was not.

Honestly the question you need to ask yourself is this....do you find women attractive as well? could you be faithful to your wife despite these sexual desires, or do you honestly feel like your marriage is going nowhere because you are not attracted to her? do you have children together? does she know you feel this way? you may want to open up to her....I don't know where you're from, and I know that some cultures make homosexuality less acceptable than others so I don't know what your situation is as far as that goes.

as far as medicine goes...no, there is nothing currently that will stop you being homosexual, because it is thought to be built into your brain...just like you can't use medicine to turn a "straight" person "gay"...you cannot do the reverse. however, if you are interested in remaining married I highly suggest speaking with your wife and seeking therapy. perhaps religious therapy (again depends on your culture) or professional....but you need to speak with someone about the confusion you're going through..someone who can look at your life situation and help you make a decision. I see that you're from India but I don't know what sort of acceptance of homosexuality there is in India.

best of luck.