Just found out my 15 year old younger sister is having sex should I tell my parents?

[Emileee123]

Wonder if anyone can help and shed a little light on the topic. I'm 18 and have recently found out my younger sister who is only 15 years old is having sex with her boyfriend (also 15) who she has been with for 6 months. I have approached her about the subject. She is using condoms and I have erged her to tell our parents and have told her about the risks and that she needs birth control if she continues to have sex as condoms aren't always effective. I think I should also point out that her boyfriends parents know about it and have said its ok as long as they use a condom and they haven't told my parents which I also feel is wrong. When talking to my sister about she got quite angry and told me to keep out of it and they'll just keep using condoms. I don't know what to do, its eating me up. I feel like I should tell my parents as they have a right to know don't they? But I'm very close with my sister and don't want to break the trust. I think the longer I know and my parent's don't the worse it will be when it comes out. I know my parents will be very mad when they find out as there not even allowed to sleep in the same bed when he comes over. Should I tell my older sister and see what she says? I'm thinking of giving my younger sister an ultimatum saying she has so long to tell them or I will. Is this a good idea?  We go on holiday in a few days and I don't want to ruin the holiday for everyone, it's a difficult situation and I don't know what to do. I don't know when my little sister grew up so much!
Any advice will me appreciated as I'm torn, Thanks.

[lindy2777777]

Hello I found out my older sister is having sex! I was surprised. My older sister is 6 years older than me because my mom kept trying until I came out 6 year later then my sister. How I found was my cousin told me and my cousin I trust with my soul, I didn't believe at first but then after I found something noy condom. But I went in her car after she said she going to get starbucks and starbucks is very close to our house like 10 minutes. My sister took 30 min. I went in her car to investigate. I found her underwear in the cup holder with her a lot of cum on it. I didn't what to think and my younger siblings followed me to the car and didn't think anything of it but I did. My parents are very strict when it comes to drinking,vaping and losing your v-card before your married. My whole family is christian.  When I asked my cousin how long she knew about my sister losing her v-card. She said she knew for three years! she also said she was wanted to tell me sooner but since im older she trusts me better now. I can't tell anyone about this my cousin wasn't even was supposed to tell me. My sister has been sneaking out at night with this guy. and three years ago she had her first boyfriend. so I think my sister lost to him I don't know. My sister is very big hoe she asked to take a photo of her on her phone and I saw a notification of tinder. I was shocked and I asked her about it she said its not real tinder just a fake tinder app. But I knew she was lying to my face. The guy my sister keeps sneaking out with ummm she says it's one of hoes. I asked her if likes him she said there just friends but cousin also told me that the guy was texting a girl and my sister got jealous and she took a picture of her half naked and started a group chat of just her "Hoes" and put the photo in there. and didn't put this guy in the group chat. The guy stopped texting that girl now there texting,calling and sneaking out all  time. But why did she say there just friends then why did she get jealous? My sister also vapes and sometimes sneaks out late with her favorite cousin and her boyfriend. And the oldest cousin drives my sister and this guy she said that were just friends and my cousin and her boyfriend around 1 am and just drink. They did get caught because my aunt found alcohol bottles. My sister is also very selfish because my cousin and I wanted to go my sister and my cousins sisters to this church group they always go to every wednesday. when my oldest cousin invited me I was so exciting to come I had not really hang out with the my older cousins. But when we when gonna go in car my sister and my other cousin who didn't invite me got mad that me were coming and said that my sisters "Friend" aka the boy she was hanging out with and my cousins boyfriend. So they said we weren't allowed to come because they wanted to hang out with their mans. My cousin and I were younger left and to tell our parents that we didn't want to come sso they could hang with there mans. I felt mad for cousin she getting blamed that she knew that they wanted to hang with boys. and she didn't my sister told her "really you knew like he was coming and also him why do even wanna come like we don't have space." I was mad at her because she would rather hang out with boys then her own family. I just wish my sister could tell me her secrets I tell her everything but now i'm not. I love my sister but I don't know she loves she ******* or her own sister and she always says she doesn't trust me with her secrets and I have a big mouth and tell everything to my cousin and because she felt more like sister then her my cousin tells me everything I tell her everything she lets me use her airpods to listen music because I don't have a phone.  But I don't know what to do should I tell my parents but my cousin that told me would hate me and never trust me and will my sister. Or should I just keep it to myself and pretend I don't know.

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, this seems to be your sister's secret and it is not too fair that you should have to have it now be your secret. What is your age and/or what is your sister's age?

[TTinKKerBBell]

Perhaps You won't have to decide whether or not to tell Your Parents.  Let me share with You what I did when I found out my 15 year old GrandDaughter was having sex with Her BoyFriend.  We had custody of Our GrandDaughter, so as it were, Her Own Parents were not Parenting Her.  I took Her to the computer and the first thing we did was look up the success rate of EVERY birth control method and She learned there is not ONE method that is 100% safe in protecting from pregnancy.  And then we looked at a video that showed in VIVID  color detail, an abortion in progress.  And then we looked at a video that showed a live delivery in VIVID color detail.  And then I asked my GrandDaughter "if Your birth control method fails will You choose the abortion or will You choose the delivery" ??  My GrandDaughter stopped having sex with Her BoyFriend !! and today She is 25 years old and is the Mother of Our Very First GreatGrandDaughter !!  Amazingly, Her Husband and the Father of Our Beautiful GreatGrandDaughter is that same BoyFriend of 10 years ago !!

[Nighthawk61]

Wow, what an INCREDIBLE STORY and thank God you were there for this little girl when her parent's could not be.  I believe that what you have done with your Grand Daughter should ABSOLUTELY BE THE "TALK" THAT WE HAVE WITH OUR KIDS  MALE OR FEMALE TTINKKERBBELL. : THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ADVICE. I KNOW THAT  MANY BOYS ALSO MUST CARRY THE SECRET THAT THEIR HIGH SCHOOL GF HAS HAD TO HAVE AN ABORTION (I HAVE ONE SON)  AND HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES THAT THEIR FIRST CHILD WAS ABORTED.  I RARELY POST BUT I HAVE POSTED BOUT THE HPV SHOT THAT KIDS CAN GET IN THEIR TEENS TO PREVENT  THE VIRUS THAT CAUSES CANCER FROM THE  human papilloma virus
HPV stands for human papilloma virus. It is a very common virus. There are about 100 types of HPV that affect different parts of the body. About 30 types of HPV can affect the genitals — including the vulva, vagina, cervix, penis, and scrotum — as well as the rectum and anus. AND WITH YOUR PERMISSION I'D LIKE TO DO THE SAME WITH THIS ADVICE  IN THE SEXUAL HEALTH FOR PARENTS AND HIGH SCHOOLERS ALIKE.

THANKS SO MUCH TTINKKERBBELL FOR ANOTHER GREAT OUTSTANDING PREVENTATIVE MEASURE THAT COULD HELP SO MANY.

[TTinKKerBBell]

NightHawk, Thank You for Your generous comments and I TOTALLY agree with You that Young Boys should see these videos too.  They are VIVID, GRAPHIC and SCARY !!  I was very fortunate to have had this idea because it impacted Her Greatly.   At the time the idea came to me out of my desperation to 'save' my GrandDaughter.  Desperation is the only word I can find in my vocabulary to describe how afraid I was that She would get hurt !!   I had not been so fortunate to save my Son (Her Daddy).   You will remember, as I've spoken of Him a time or two in the addiction, alcoholic forum.  My Son died from a drug overdose (heroin laced with fentanyl) and it was She that found Her Daddy the next morning after He lay dead on the bathroom floor all night.   It was a horrendous sight for Her and She was alone with Him at the time. I was older and wiser when She turned 15 than when He was 15 - AND I was desperate that She grow up Healthy and Whole - and much to our Pride and Pleasure, She did !!

Please NightHawk, You are more than welcome to share my story if You think it might help ANY Young Person.  I feel proud that You were impressed with my idea.  It definitely shocked and scared Her.  Betcha' She'll do the same with Her Daughter when the time comes!!  Likely there are graphic pictures on the internet that would  also show the ravage of HPV on human body parts.  Likely, if we were to do this with the Boys and Girls at the same time/age that They get the HPV vaccine (and the videos of Birthing and also of abortion) perhaps they would begin to feel it important to wait for marriage, to wait until They are ready to make Babies before They become sexual.  

[Nighthawk61]

Gee, being so sexually active myself at such an early age contributed to the delinquency of  myself when i was  a minor, i'm sure that my focus being on a full blown relationship was in great measure responsible for my not finishing school > my partner was older and left school earlier and i quit when he graduated. So there are many complication that can come from a too early relationship. I think that siblings should give the heads up to parents, but not admitting to any particulars i think is the best way to go. I can hear how much you care about your sibling and that's so nice to see. (both the young people answering here). Your siblings are lucky to have you (both).

[AnnieBrooke]

Shana, your sister is not being wise, but I am not sure she will accept you telling her so. Sending inappropriate pics -- kids think these things don't matter, but once online, pics go all over. Boys send them to their buddies to show off, and they are NEVER gone from the Internet.

On the other hand, she did not tell you this, you found it out by going through her texts. This means, she will rightfully be furious with you about your invasion of her privacy.

All I can suggest is that if the option ever comes open to suggest to your mom that she might put some parental controls on your sister's phone (such that she, the mom, can read your sister's texts if she wants), you should suggest this to her. If your mom gets from this that you know something, and asks why she should or what you know, you should just say you don't know anything for sure but just get a feeling, about your sister and her boyfriend, and are worried. But don't say more than that.

I am sorry you're in this position. Sometimes we learn things we would really rather not know, when we go through another person's communications. But since you're only 13, I would not ask you to insert yourself into the middle of this. You are not your sister's mother, you are her sister, and close to her. Your main concern is to love and help her, and in order to do so you have to have a relationship with her. I think if you write your concern off (when hinting to your mom) as being just a feeling you have, then you can preserve your relationship with your sister while still doing something that might protect her from her unwise activities.

[Shana__Lykos]

Im having the same problem. But its vise versa. Im younger and i know my sister is having sex but she is still a minor. Shes 16. Im 13. I was going through her texts and i learned that her boyfriend has sending her inappropriate pics. Same with her. I also learned that he was using viagra. Im shocked and scared because because i am close to my sister too. I dont know what i should do.

[madisondeforest]

this is a hard one for me, I was 14 when I first had sex. my mom found out and I couldnt se  my boyfriend for a long long long time after. but we are still together to the day, I am now 20 we have been together since I was 13. of course with ups and downs. but my parents finding out I was having sex was not helpful to me. we were fine and using protection. I do advise she should be on birth control. but also me and my boyfriend had been together for a year and a half when we had sex. im not sure what you should do. if you believe its the right thing to do go with your gut. if her and her boyfriend are meant to be theyll stick out the drama from the parents.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi also, yes it would be best to tell the parents, There are also legal issues here as she is considered a minor.

[thatquietgirl]

Tell your parents.  If they're anything like mine, they'll find a way to keep your sister from realizing you told them.  My mom would always come up with a logical story for how she really found out if my sister kept lying, and nine times out of ten they were things that were making her suspicious of something she was up to.  I only ever told my parents if it was something potentially threatening to my sister's life, and this would certainly qualify.  She's 15, not even legally old enough to consent.  There is a certain level of emotional maturity required for a sexual relationship, and most teens don't yet have it.

[TTinKKerBBell]

I vote tell Your Parents.

Condoms are not completely safe - there is a failure rate for ALL forms of birth control, certainly for condoms.  If the condom fails, the consequences for a 15 year old are severe.

Your Sister is not "grown up".  She's 15 years old, She is a minor and is NOT making good choices - that's what Parents are for.

You will not be "ruining" everyone's holiday - if it's in fact "ruined", it's Your Sister's behavior that will 'own' that, not Yours.  Your Parents would want to know in order to lead and guide Your Sister - this could have a major and most unwelcome impact on Your Sister's life

Good Luck

[real_jimmy]

Tell your parents, even if you break your sisters trust, she will understand the same in future and probably be thankful to you. however, if your parents are cool, may be they can smartly work their way through to maintain your anonymity as well.. and in fact that would be better and smoother without creating fuss, as they can start with small measures towards avoiding the future complications that would probably be the outcomes..