Is it normal?

[arinct]

Hi, I'm 5 weeks pregnant, I have a boy already. And my boyfriend has 2 boys, all under 7 yrs old. Is it normal when I give my boyfriend up to date activies on our new baby he just shrugs it off. He doesn't ask any questions, like due date, how I'm feeling today, ect. Was this a mistake. And he's not even going to the first ultrasound, nor bother to mention it. I'm lost...depressed, and mad.

[arinct]

Thank you so much, ur advise brought a little release off my shoulders.

[specialmom]

Okay, well.  Then whether he is excited or not, it doesn't affect the fact that you are going to have a baby so I would not focus on this.  No.  He probably didn't want to have a child right now.  His actions kind of say that.  But he is TRYING by telling you he is happy about it.  As you can't force him to be happy . ..   continuing to talk to him about it is going to get really old, really fast.  

Go on about the business of planning for a baby.  He'll be in the baby's life or he won't be.  time will tell.  But give him a chance without too much pressure demanding that he have the emotions about it that you want him to.

I wish you the best of luck!!  You sound like you are 'in the know' for all babies entail being a mama before.  It's not easy but I'm sure you'll do a great job.  Good luck

[arinct]

If he wasn't in the picture, I would still keep the baby. The only reason why is I got pregnant after my first child and had an abortion..which was the hardest thing for me to do.

[specialmom]

Take him for his word and hope for the best.  Unplanned pregnancy is hard and absolutely changes the dynamics of the relationship.  No, he probably was not excited to learn you were pregnant.  he wouldn't be the first guy that started off fatherhood that way.  But after the baby is here and he bonds with him or her, he'll grow to love the baby.  Most men do.  Or he'll turn out to be a creep that stays away from his child.  But right now, he is saying he is happy. You have to just go with it because otherwise, you are just not being fair.  In my opinion.  

If he wasn't in the picture at all, would you keep the baby?  

[arinct]

This wasn't planned, it was a shock to me. When I told him I was, he was like I knew it, in a mood tone, an walked away haven't spoke a word the rest of that day. What got me so concerned is he said he didn't want it, and I said I'm keeping it. Now if I do go thru with this, I'm going to have in the back of my mind, he never wanted this child. But he says if it makes me happy then he's happy, which I don't see is right, he should be happy for him self, not what others feel. I don't know my hormones are wacked.

[anonymous_825]

Maybe he feels a little overwhelmed.  Some people shut down and maybe it's hard when he doesn't feel like he can give you what he needs.

At 5 weeks there isn't much seen on u/s and maybe he wants to wait for a later one when the baby looks like a baby, who knows.

Just keep your head up at this blessing.  Give him some space and maybe he'll come around.

Was this planned?

I think when a little time passes and you're "handling" the pregnancy, try to talk to him and hear what he has to say.  I think we often imagine all these reasons why someone behaves the way they do, but sometimes it's something entirely different.  Perhaps you'll be able to relieve whatever is causing the disinterest.

Babies are a blessing!  Congrats!

[arinct]

Well understood with the webbed feet and to early to want to know. But a little communication would be helpful, I feel like I'm alone on the dark. Let alone my back and abdominal is killing me, a simple massage that I asked for turns into a no, and he goes right back to his video games. With the way things are looking, stress might be a big toll in this pregnancy, which I know isn't healthy.

[alisonk170]

Hi im ryan alisons SO. We are in the exact same boat i have to boys from previous relationships and alison has one from a previous relationship we are currently expecting and for me it is just as exiting as when my older boys where born. I can't wait for the ultrosound. Altho I'm not into all the little " baby has webed hands and feet this week " updates.  

[arinct]

Thanks, I hope he does turn around. I guess I'll just relax and pray to see if the path we have chosen was right. Wednesday is my first ultrasound, an I'm going alone, hopefully this appointment will be the only one he misses.

[chansforbabies]

You are only in to the beginning of your pregnancy....Maybe he is still trying to take it all in....You do have one child and he has two so he might be just overwhelmed with you guys are going to have 4 children all together.....Just sit back relax you never know he might come around before you first ultrasound.....Take it easy and enjoy it well you can ;)