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Avatar universal

been single for a year...how to let go of ex!!

ok, ladies and gents.  to make a long story short. my ex and I broke up last year around this time. so, it's pretty much been a year of being single and I will say it's been ok. i have tried talking to other guys, but I just don't find myself interested in them. well, back in oct of 2011 my ex and i reconnected. he was telling me he loved me, his heart was with me, and everyone he knew kept telling him to go get his girl. of course that made me feel good because I missed him too and was willing to work something out. well, from oct of last year up until about 4 weeks ago we were still having a sexual relationship with each other. I know it was wrong, but I felt so comfortable with him...i just couldn't help it. well, now im a little mad because I feel he was just playing games with me the whole time since we reconnected. he kept saying if i loved him that I pretty much needed to wait around for him so that he could figure out what he wanted. he never gave me any clear decision on if he wanted to me with me again or not. I was feeling like he was just staying in contact with me for a purely sexual thing and just telling me all those "sweet nothings" just so it would seem like he cared. I haven't spoken to him in 4 weeks and I really have no intentions to, but I this is where I need advice. I know if he text me that its gonna be hard to resit responding bc there is still that little hope deep down inside where I feel like...ooo he might change. How do how i really move on from this? I am an educated woman with a degree and in the process of going back to school to pursue another degree. I have smarts, but it just seems like i have no common sense when it comes to this foolish man...any words of advice would be great.


thanx guys!!
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Avatar universal
Move on my dear. I know it's not easy. But it's not difficult too. Actually am same as your sittation. I'm really hurting too. But they are nothing I can help. Just learn how to accepted... Be strong!!! And tell myself don't wasted my time for that guy. Better I save it for the next game...
Helpful - 0
1605559 tn?1314793078
Let it go - don't respond.  Trust me - I was in this situation as well!  I broke up with my girlfriend at the time (even moving out of her apartment) yet I continued to allow it to keep going for about another seven or eight months just because I still wanted the sex.  It wasn't fair to her to keep her hopes alive that we would end up back together.  While I never made any promises or kept telling her I still loved her, I, unfortunately, would say (text) stuff like "I really need you tonight".  You have to let it go.  Stop answering texts.  It will be very, very hard at first but, after a while, he will get the message.  You deserve better!
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Avatar universal
Nothing to add because Specialmom has given great advice already.

Moving on.....yeah, it's hard to do but it should/must be done.  No need to repeat mistakes over and over again.  
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh, well, I'm sorry about your break up and that he came back and messed with you.  You are wise to officially move on and be completely done with him.  As to moving on, well---- it's hard.  There is no set amount of time it takes and for some it is shorter than for others.  My best advice to you is to really focus on YOU.  Whatever hobbies you have or wanted to have--------   now is the time to go crazy with them and throw yourself into them.  Spend lots of time with friends and family.  Throw yourself into work and school.  Make where you live the nicest you can.  And just go on with being YOU.  I promise that a man will come along at some point and notice YOU while you are doing that and you'll connect.  If along the way you meet someone interesting, then casually date.  Go out for coffee or dinner.  Nothing seriuos.  

but since you hooked back up briefly with your boyfriend, you have to mourn the loss of the relaitonship again.  So, expect a bit of time more to pass.  You WILL eventually date and not think about him at all.  Hange in there.  Peace
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