"friends" with benefits?

[twinkly84]

If you're married and a single friend of the opposite sex asks you out to an event (but, he/she didn't invite your spouse) would you go?

Is that "cheating"?

Or, is it only going out with a friend?

[megochick101]

Well both me and my husband have close friends(friends ONLY) of the opposite sex, but once we started dating those close friends of the opposite sex became both of our close friends and i would never go out by myself with just my male friend even though we are purely friends and nothing more just like i wouldn't want my husband to go out by himself with his close female friend. It's not like I don't trust my husband, i just wouldn't be comfortable if his friend only asked him and didn't invite me since she is also now one of my close friends, and I know my husband feels the same way.

To me it would be a big red flag if my male friend asked just me out or if his female friend just asked him out without including both of us.

[teko]

I think not. Kind of like putting yourself in a situation where anything could happen, intentiional or not. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  How would you feel if your significant other did this. It leaves the marriage vulnerable, and anything done by either party in the marriage that exposes it to vulnerability is morally and ethically wrong. And it is a matter of respect for each other. If you value your marriage above all else, you will not do this.

[joshua883]

You should ask your spouse if you feel strongly on this. You will find out from your spouse when you ask. There is no point asking on a forum because its people who do not know you.
Does your husband know this person'?
Does your husband allow you to go out with people of the oppostie sex'?
Have you asked his opinion'?
If you think it is fine to do and are second guessing your own answer you should be able to ask your husband at least

[jojo24]

Oh, and let me add that even if it was my sister-in-law I'd be P.O.ed because she didn't invite me!

[jojo24]

Wow.  I am with heatherlynn on this one.  I trust my husband with every fiber of my being, but going out with another woman is completely unnacceptable.  I am a little on the jealous side and I don't want my hubby having fun with another woman without me.  Plus, I wouldn't feel right doing that to him either.  It's just not right.  I can honestly say that I've never been able to stay plutonic with a male friend (unless he was gay) because over time when you start to develop a relationship with a person of the opposite sex, most of the time, on one end or the other, sexual tension begins to build up.  It's not something we do on purpose, but it happens.  I'd rather not either one of us risk it.  The only exception I'd make is like my sister-in-law or something because she's family to him and if they ever had sexual tension it would just be weird for both of them.

[adgal]

Before we got married, both my husband and I had good friends of the opposite sex.  As our relationship progressed and we got married, those friends became both our friends (for the most part anyway).  The majority of the things we do are in a group and I can't really imagine one of his female friends inviting him somewhere without me...or one of my old male friends inviting me without him. However, if it happened, I really don't think it would bother me and I know it wouldn't bother him.  For us, it's just not a big issue.  I do agree though, that your spouse's feelings should always be respected and if he did have an issue with it, I wouldn't go.  I am sure he would also respect my feelings if I really didn't want him to go.  We have had situations where both of us have been invited, but one of us couldn't go, so the other went on their own.  That has not been an issue, even if the person was of the opposite sex.  

[jo929]

If you are married,the answer i would give is no, because the spose should also be included   jo

[Judy246]

It depends on what type of relationship this person has with you and hubby and intent.

If he were a good friends, he would be respectful of the marriage and aware that the invitation can be an invitation to problems for the female friends. If she accepts without telling her husband, it's not infidelity, but dishonest and untrustworthy.

If the man old friends with the wife and the hubby is aware of the friendship, the husband should be made aware first and have a say to this outing. It could be harmless, just old friends getting together.

It all depends on the relationship and intent. I am engaged and have an old college friend named Tom that calls me all the time, knows my fiance, has invited us both out with his wifre and Tom and I went for pizza the other day with his son. It was pure friendship and all is well with all parties.

[heatherlynn22]

i trust my hubby...but absolutely not. if this person wants to go somewhere with me he will have to deal with my hubby as well. if some chic wants to go somewhere with hubby she will have to deal with me being there.

if either person objects to the spouse being their we would both decline the invitation.

[mami1323]

It can go either way.  If you trust your spouse and think it's ok to have friendships with the opposite sex than there won't be any issues with them going.  However, if you both are uncomfortable with the idea than you need to respect how your significant other or spouse would feel and not go.  I know I wouldn't be comfortable with my fiance going to any event with another woman and vice versa.  However, I know myself and I know that I'm capable of having platonic male friends.  But would respect how he feels.

[twinkly84]

I forgot to mention that this person knows you're married & doesn't seem the type who would make a move on you?

What if your husband (you're a straight woman) was approached by a single woman at his work to go w/ her to a sporting event & didn't invite you, would you let him go?

Or, is this all not right & you should just be with your spouse?