Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

how can this be? uncle in love with his niece?!

this is quite disgusting...man in love with his niece-eww. I have seen him "adjust"  himself when she is around.when he gazes at her, you can see the lust  in his eyes. He is very close to his brother and it is his daughter. This brother would just die if he knew. What can be done? Not sure if she is aware, or pretends its not happening.
Strange , he has a friend that had a baby with his common law's niece, he may want the same, but the direct bloodline. he is also shacked-up  and ive seen him be very mean to her. I figure he's either angry at his own sick mind , and has to blame someone for his lack of control/sickness.. I am not sure if she has noticed the obsession.   He needs serious help!
I am a good friend and have advised otherwise.

This has been an obsession for about 15-years?! How can he  get help? Counseling? Is the wiring in their head burnt out?
4 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
207091 tn?1337709493
Is the niece an adult? If it's been an obsession for 15 years, I imagine she has to be close to an adult at least, or an adult.

Why haven't you told the brother? If he's mean to the niece, is anyone looking out for her? Is her safety at risk?

I don't think anyone can diagnose him, but the most important thing is that someone has to know so she is protected. If she doesn't know, she should. She shouldn't be alone with him.
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
Niece is an adult and it was noticed when she was about 18 she is now 31, so a little less than 15 years. and he is mean to his significant other, not the niece.
When you say "it was noticed," do you mean it was generally noticed and commented on by other people? Or are you the only one who has noticed?
134578 tn?1614729226
You say you can "see lust in his eyes," and presumably are certain you are not imagining things nor interpreting things incorrectly. But what if you were to be imagining things, and told the brother, and caused a big rift?

One way to try to be sure is to ask your niece how she feels about her uncle. If this niece has been the object of his sexual obsession for 15 years, unless you are saying he began this when she was a little child, she is certainly an adult by now and you could have this conversation. Can you say to her that you are puzzled by the way he acts around her and ask her if she is comfortable with it? Maybe her response will give you an idea if there is any chance that you are not guessing right.
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
Not imagining it for sure.
I will wait for the right time to ask a leading question of the niece. The interesting thing is the brother and his two daughters, one being the subject  , go on trips together with the uncle and his significant other. The brothers are close. It’s interesting that these two young adult daughters travel so much with their father, one may bring a boyfriend , but the other- subject ,  sometimes alone or brings her child.
At family functions, uncle is in control not one glance, but on these trips-it’s very obvious of the sneaky lustful looks. Is this an illness? How can that happen? No boundaries?!  
When you say "It's interesting that two young adult daughters travel so much with their father," it seems like you are saying that it is negatively suggestive for women to travel with their dad. In my book that sounds like a lot of fun. (If my dad ever wanted to take me on a trip, I would sure go.) Are you saying that the fact that they take trips with their father is proof that his brother does lustful glances?
207091 tn?1337709493
So she's 31. She is a fully grown, adult woman - a mother, if I'm reading this correctly.

I guess my next question is why isn't anyone else seeing this? Why isn't anyone else saying anything to this woman?

Why would you ask a "leading question" of the niece? Why not ask the uncle?

You are reading a LOT into this. You seem to think that traveling with family is somehow inappropriate or suggestive of something lurid. Are you on these trips? Are you the uncle's significant other? How else would you know about the "sneaky, lustful looks" on the trips?

All you can do is control your part in this - whatever that is. It's bothering you, and has been for 15 years. You can choose to say something to her father, to her, or to the uncle. Either that, or let it go.
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1614729226
I guess it's clear from the kind of answers that you're getting that it's hard to tell what is really going on from what you are describing. You say someone has been giving sneaky lustful glances at his niece for 15 years, it has never escalated to him saying or doing anything overtly improper, it has never been detected except by you, and he has never stopped doing it?  Part of the reason this is hard to make sense of is that people with unrequited attraction finally get bored and go find someone else: it's hard to imagine someone staying at a fever pitch for 15 years. The only way I can think of to be certain that the situation is as you have described is if you yourself are the uncle, and are writing trying to figure out or self-condemn your attraction. (It doesn't quite add up that way either, but if you are, keep doing what you are doing, which is to keep the attraction to yourself and don't try to act on it.) Anyway, it would be helpful in understanding this if you would say why you think it's suggestive that the two daughters travel with their father, who you are in this mix, and why (if the uncle is so obvious) they would still want to be around him.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
Yes, all of this.
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community

Top Relationships Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
3060903 tn?1398565123
Other
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.