i NEED ADViCE ..

[Emy725]

Long story short, ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years and 6 mths we recently moved in together and i became pregnaut our relationship has been like a rollercoaster but we've always managed to pull through and stick together bc we love each other .. so recently we got into this big ol argument and i kinda pushed his buttons bc we are just alike so we know how to get other to boiling point! so one day we got into this huge argument and he ended up pushing me around! .. now, he didnt hit me or slap me or anything just pushed me around! i was hitting him back and trying to get away! .. my phone had went off and it was my sister, some how my phone picked up and she heard us arguing and she heard me telling him to stop .. she told my father and my father rushed over and told me to go to his house to stay.. its been about 2 weeks now and im debating on going back to live with my boyfriend or not. hes apologized and realized what he did wasnt right! he has only done this once before but it was a while back ! .. we do love each other and want to make a wonderful family for our baby!! .. what should i do? i do love him and i know he loves me .. and i also know that he has an anger problem but we've managed to work our way around it .. what should i do????

[Jester2005]

I'm sorry for the situation that you're in... still working on the relation but with a baby on the way... I suggest counselling for both of you. Find out why he gets mad like that and reacts like that. Even if it's only the second time, unfortunately it is the beginning of a pattern (been there, done that... so trust me). I know you love him and believe he loves you, too, but I've learnt that it takes more than love to make a relationship work out. If you can, stay at your parents' for a bit and see if he does make changes. Also, keep in mind that while you are the one physically pregnant, he is also pregnant (in a way) and he is going through stuff, too. Having a child is a BIG change in anyone's life, no matter how old you are. Keep posting and let us know how things work out. We're here to help!

[iam1butterfly]

If this was a 1 time isolated incident... where he pushed you. Then, I would say give him a benefit of a doubt, go back with him and work on the relationship. But, you said that he had "... done this once before." So, I would now see the pushing thing as a potential pattern as to how he handles anger and stress. Just be aware that pushing usually leads to shoving which often leads to hitting... etc. And, if he starts treating you that way, who's next? the baby?

[madmac]

I don't think it would do any good to tell you to leave him Emy725 as you'll probably do what most women in your position would, you'll make excuses for him and stay. Then one day he'll physically hurt you so bad that you might actually leave him then spend a good portion of your life questioning yourself as to why you stayed in the first place. If I thought you would listen, then I would say leave him now as the chances are very good that it's going to get worse. Don't get me wrong but you woman have a way of turning the meekest men to madness, but no matter how a woman treats or what they do to a man, theres no excuse for him laying hands on her. He has the option of walking away. So do you.

[Cootos]

I'm sorry your going through this...if your willing to stay he NEEDS anger management....physical abuse actually comes out more in a man when their wife is pregnant..and I fear that this is only the beginning...he needs to be able to control himself and some can and some cant....this is defenitely a red flag though and for the fact that your relationship is a constant roller coster I would suggest a break...you dont need this especially while you are prego. Dont defend his actions because they are WRONG.... he will apoligize over and over and tell you he would never "push you around again...but isnt this the second occurance?? Think about the safety of your baby and yourself....is he controlling? Jealous? Quick tempered? Insecure? These are warning signsWhat does your family think of him? Because believe it or not your family has the best judgement because they can see from the outside and the inside.......whatever decision you make...be careful and good luck!