Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

in-laws or out-laws

I have awful inlaws that told me I wasn't good enough to marry their son along with a lot of other horrible things & they have treated me just horribly for no reason. They have been so mean, rediculous & hateful to me & it has caused my husband & I alot of pain.  If I was a bad/mean person,  I could understand--but I'm not & people have told me the 2 inlaws have always been weird. Creepy!! They knew we wanted to wait a good while to have kids so they won't expect it when we tell them our lil surprise.  Just wondering if there is anyone out there that has a similar situation?  How did the inlaws react? Were they nicer? I bet they'll wish they werent so evil to me now!  Or I hope anyway. .. What do you guys think?
22 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Thanks for all the coments, everyone!  I feel better. I agree with you JanPaige14.. staying away & not taking to them has been the only source of relief from them for us.  They eventually get the picture when you ignore every text & call. . We told them if they wanted to be involved in our lives they had to apologize for all their hatefulness & be kind & respectful. . .  And they haven't & won't I'm sure.  Their loss now & a big loss coming up when we tell them our happy news. But on another note,  I'm not expecting any congrats or anything from them.  I've had my hopes up too many times that they'd finally be nice. Wow I'm rambling...sorry
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have a monster in law... I don't talk to her. Nothing.  When my husband and I told her about our surprise,  she didn't seem that thrilled. And she doesn't say a word to me. Doesn't even ask about the pregnancy.  Nothing. Don't linger on it. My husband knows whats going on. But best thing is just to stay away. I do. If she wants to be involved.  No, she already ruined that.  Like it was really bad. To this day when I see her. I don't talk to her. She barely asks us about the pregnancy.  She's awful. She doesn't even treat my husband right, her son. But good luck... it su.cks to hear someone is going through the same thing. We don't even deserve to be trampled on.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My fiancés sister in law told my mother in law that my mother in law was probably going to love my baby more than hers because supposedly she thinks that my fiance is my mother in law favorite son. So immature but my mother in,law told her that our babies arr both a blessing and she is happy fir both of us and that she will not have any favoritism in the house because they will both be her grandbabies
Helpful - 0
8227972 tn?1414913484
thats your choice hun..she's gonna have to respect that.. coz when i was in pain with my first while in labor..i became a monster.. broke my ex's collar and it was his fave shirt.. if my mil would come and be mean, i swear she'd regret ever seeing me in that state..lol..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Wow! ! I'm realizing just how many others have to face this!  I just had the random thought today that my mil would prob like to be in the labor & delivery rooms since it will be their 1st grandchild. . Sorry but that thought makes me sick. No way that is happening!  Maybe if she had been nice. .. but if she has negative words for everything else I do then there is no way I could have a baby right! Ha ha! She better not even ask or assume she's invited.  But that's a question in itself. ..I think I just want hubby around.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh I feel your pain hun. My boyfriends mother hates me we have been together 3 years and we wanted to get married before kids but sometimes it doesn't happen that way. Well my bfs sister in law is pregnant too shes been with his brother 4 years anywho we are a month and 2 weeks apart am 32 weeks. Well she planned on throwing her a babyshower with out telling me but when his sister in law found out she made it so it was joined babyshower which I thought was wierd didnt even want to go I mean shes having a lil girl and am having a lil boy. Well get there none of my friends or family are there which I wasnt expecting anyways I assumed his family intell I saw his sister in laws family and friends. It was the most uncomfortable I have ever felt I couldn't believe it so for the next 2 hours I sat alone on my phone besides when my bfs grandmother talked to me. I feel like his mom isn't as excited about our baby as she is theres and it brakes my bfs heart which just makes me mad. I hope it changes after the baby but am not holding my breath
Helpful - 0
7558356 tn?1410715309
On Mothers Day, My Mother In Law Told Me That I Wasn't A Real Mom And That My Husband (Her Son) Shouldn't Have Bought Me Flowers And Wasted His Money. In Laws Can Be The Worst Sometimes!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Interesting thoughts. . Yes, they did do a good job raising my husband but they are pretty mean to him sometimes, too. And THAT makes me furious. I think I just have to realize that they are miserable people (for reasons) and misery loves company so they try to make us miserable.  So I just need to not let it bother me--Because we are happily married & plan to stay that way!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My MIL...
I come from a very conservative family with a squeaky clean record! Very cool, calm collected people who are very responsible with their life choices.
My MIL was (not anymore) a prostitute,  a Madam (female pomp), drug dealer, heroine addict, adulterer, etc. It's really hard for mewhen she makes harsh judgements on me for little things-- because I don't like cats and because I simply don't see eye-to-eye with her!
BUT!!!
She managed to raise my husband-- not the best way but as well as she could and my husband is amazing! And though she still makes some poor choices, she has come a long way! I really respect her for trying to make her life better.
So next time your in-laws say/do something rude, remember that they raised your husband so they did SOMEThING right! Stand up for yourself but leave the room to cool down in the bathroom if you need a break!  
When I'm REALLY mad at my MIL, I give her a hug and tell her thank you -- it ***** but sometimes putting my pride aside really helps her respect me a little more!
and sometimes I just have to smile and say "let's talk about this later when you've calmed down". It makes her mad, but I just ignore her and repeat that phrase until she's able to talk to me civilly.
Little tricks like this help us get along and helps her realize that we both have the same goals because we both love her son!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I hope you told them to get lost!  Lol Thats hard to do tho.. cuz my husband still loves his parents even tho they are crazy... I dont understand it but I just remind myself I don't know what it would be like to have mean parents. .
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I had horrible inlaws like that, it just got worse after the baby, they tried to control everything about the baby and treated me even worse when I didn't do things their way.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well if they where to say anything negative around my baby that would be the last straw! If they want to be in our lives they need to be respectful--that isn't too much to ask I don't think! They obviously have never had anyone be such jerks to them off they wouldn't be this way!!! Thanks guys! It really helps to know I'm not alone.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well if they where to say anything negative around my baby that would be the last straw! If they want to be in our lives they need to be respectful--that isn't too much to ask I don't think! They obviously have never had anyone be such jerks to them off they wouldn't be this way!!! Thanks guys! It really helps to know I'm not alone.
Helpful - 0
8870903 tn?1403153273
Girl you don't need that negativity around you, what if they tell your baby all the negative things that they say to you, it wouldnt be right. But I can so get where your coming from, my Hubby's mother is a crack addict and has been for 30 years but feels she can drop over whenever screaming that I'm a horrible person for taking her son, I love her son and he knows I do, that's why he told his mom to kick rocks until she's sober. Best wishes hun!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Wow! I can't believe adults can be so immature! They should be there for us not make our lives hard.  I guess I have learned alot about how I want to treat my daughter-in-laws one day--I never want to make anyone go thru this!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My mother in law flipped out seriously! Cursed cried and all of it total drama queen!!!! I left her alone for a few weeks and she finally texted me one day and was like I wanna be called Gigi she's fine about it now people get over it. But my mother in law is the only one I have issues with other than her mom who speaks to the dog but won't speak to me....
Helpful - 0
6855498 tn?1396023284
My mil wanted my husband to marry his ex not me she was against me all the way to our wedding she even brought his ex to my wedding so he had a chance to change his mind. My fil yelled at her and asked her to leave. So i get pregnant and all of a sudden i'm her best friend and shes all excited and doesn't even talk to my husbands ex any more. Sometimes people are just weird
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My husband's grandma was kind of like that to me. Once I had the baby she tried acting like nothing ever happened. When I let her hold the baby she thanked me and crude. She has never once been rude or disrespectful to me again.
Helpful - 0
8227972 tn?1414913484
mine had been so horrible to me.. his mom cursed me and said that his son is wasting his time on me.. she wanted the ex of my husband who had their first child.. she didnt believe that she cheated so my husband left her.. she thinks that since i already have a daughter from my ex, i dont deserve him anymore.. anyways.. i just stopped being bothered about it.. its not her im gonna have to spend my life with anyways.. besides, if she doesnt like my daughter or even my baby.. i wont like her either.. an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.. those are kids for crying out loud.. if i were you.. dont stress about it.. thatll make you the better person..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks for the support guys. .Anyone who has been thru this knows what a hardship it can be. Yeah,  I quit reading their texts to my husband & I'm going to try to forget about them. Thankfully we don't live close to them... one plus. It's kind of bad i know but I really hope they regret their actions once we tell them.  
Helpful - 0
8769357 tn?1402719875
I soo feel for you hun..... I'm going through the same thing the only difference is in laws are lovely on my face but behind my back there completely different. .. its Jardine I know but as long as your hubby is good to you they can't come in between... mine have been so funny with me ever since I got pregnant I have no physical support from them, everything is for show only.... try to ignore as much as you can you don't want extra stress. Good luck hun
Helpful - 0
8748261 tn?1400677893
My mother in law went and told other people that me and my boyfriend was expecting when we wasn't ready to tell anyone else yet so when I got mad she sat there and told me I was ashamed of my baby!I was like oh no she didnt... needless to say she started kissing my butt so she could have a part in the baby's life.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Relationships Community

Top Relationships Answerers
13167 tn?1327194124
Austin, TX
3060903 tn?1398565123
Other
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.