Aa
is there something I can do?
I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months and I really love him and enjoy everything we do in the bedroom. The problem I have is sometimes I want him to go down on me but he says that I get too wet and its nastey and other stuff like that. I don't know if there's anything I can do to not get as wet? And should I get upset or my feelings hurt cause it hurts my feelings that I do what he wants whether I enjoy it or not but when its what I want I'm too wet and nastey. I know its not hygiene problems cause I keep myself clean. But it still hurts my feelings. Anything I can do? Should it bug me?
Mandy, he is just really mean. That's the bottom line. I can't encourage you to continue this farce of a "relationship", a term I use loosely because although you're in it all the way, he is definitely not. I want for you to believe in your worth as a woman who is completely normal, because you are. And I want for you to love yourself enough to know that you can do better than this shmuck. What he said to you was truly hurtful and you don't need to put up with any guy being so mean to you.
When you leave him (and I hope it is tomorrow), give him the gift that keeps on giving. Tell him his penis has always been too small to satisfy you and that you simply lied about it when you said he was a good lover. What a jerk.
Tell him you dont want to blow him, tell him it tastes bad and makes you gag and see how he feels
COMMUNITY LEADER
I agree that this relationship isn't worth repairing. he's shown you that he lacks the ability to be empathetic and caring/gentle with how he treats you. this will get bigger rather than smaller. This is still a newer relationship and he is already making you self conscious and to feel like poop. Honey, you don't need that.
Even if something were true about my partner, I'd be honest with them in a way that took how they were going to feel into account. That means that I'd either choose whether it was really worth it to me to possibly hurt their feelings over and if it were, I'd be very careful how I said it so as to hurt them as little as possible. Why? Because I want my partner to feel good.
Your guy doesn't care. he's not worth your energy. good luck
Even if something were true about my partner, I'd be honest with them in a way that took how they were going to feel into account. That means that I'd either choose whether it was really worth it to me to possibly hurt their feelings over and if it were, I'd be very careful how I said it so as to hurt them as little as possible. Why? Because I want my partner to feel good.
Your guy doesn't care. he's not worth your energy. good luck
mandy, I wouldn't try to repair this relationship.
You need to find a sweet sensitive guy who says you take his breath away.
They're out there - go find one!
You need to find a sweet sensitive guy who says you take his breath away.
They're out there - go find one!
How old is your boyfriend? He sounds immature.
"But he also expects me to do oral on him which I don't mindits just the fact that me made me throw up once cause he pushed my head down and I'm scared to throw up agan so I feel I'm nit good enough in anyway."........That doesn't sound great in no way, shape or form. Throwing up? Really now.
"The problem I have is sometimes I want him to go down on me but he says that I get too wet and its nastey and other stuff like that. I don't know if there's anything I can do to not get as wet?".......He doesn't want to do this "nasty" thing, but he is still receiving from you?
Of course this should "bug" you; he's being inconsiderate and degrading you.
"Anything I can do?"......Yes. Make it perfectly clear that you are the way you are........that you get too wet and that there is nothing you can do about that and that you won't be giving him any more oral as you find that "nasty." Use his own words on him and see how he responds; give him a taste of his OWN medicine.
Insensitive words isn't joking in my opinion.
He shouldn't be receiving anything he isn't giving....in this case oral. If he was a gentleman he would have told you in a polite manner and then told you since he didn't want to do oral on you than you don't have to do oral on him.
If you both can agree on no oral and both parties are ok with this then so be it, however, if this is something you really enjoy and need for your sexual satisfaction you might need to reevaluate this relationship.
"But he also expects me to do oral on him which I don't mindits just the fact that me made me throw up once cause he pushed my head down and I'm scared to throw up agan so I feel I'm nit good enough in anyway."........That doesn't sound great in no way, shape or form. Throwing up? Really now.
"The problem I have is sometimes I want him to go down on me but he says that I get too wet and its nastey and other stuff like that. I don't know if there's anything I can do to not get as wet?".......He doesn't want to do this "nasty" thing, but he is still receiving from you?
Of course this should "bug" you; he's being inconsiderate and degrading you.
"Anything I can do?"......Yes. Make it perfectly clear that you are the way you are........that you get too wet and that there is nothing you can do about that and that you won't be giving him any more oral as you find that "nasty." Use his own words on him and see how he responds; give him a taste of his OWN medicine.
Insensitive words isn't joking in my opinion.
He shouldn't be receiving anything he isn't giving....in this case oral. If he was a gentleman he would have told you in a polite manner and then told you since he didn't want to do oral on you than you don't have to do oral on him.
If you both can agree on no oral and both parties are ok with this then so be it, however, if this is something you really enjoy and need for your sexual satisfaction you might need to reevaluate this relationship.
Jesus, this guy has no respect for sweetie. Oh god it makes me so mad to know your going through that. Try what I had said earlier. He is downing you and it might be because he doesn't like himself in some way so he downs you to make him feel better about himself. I believe y'all must have other problems too. And you need to write them down to and say it to him. I think if you really care for this guy you try and make it work and get him on board with trying. Every relationship has problems I don't care who you are. That doesn't mean necessarily that you should run unless it's physically abusive or bad mentally abusive. If y'all can't work thru this problem then I'd call it quits. But it wasn't a complete lose because now you know that relationships work if y'all can communicate, work thru problems together, compromise and being caring, loving, understanding and forgiving. And you worked on problem solving with him so there's so experience for future relationships. From the get go in relationship tell him you won't tolerate any disrespect.
♡Princess.
♡Princess.
I will say again, Your BF sounds selfish and self-serving AND
to say insensitive things and then call it "joking" when it bothers You, is passive-aggressive behavior. Of course this hurts You. He is devalue ing Your feelings when He does that. He's causing You to feel inadequate, And That's Not Kind and Loving Behavior!!
At this point it seems You will have to live with Him as is, or move on. He's not likely to "change"
Love Is A Choice - Make Good Choices For YourSelf!!
to say insensitive things and then call it "joking" when it bothers You, is passive-aggressive behavior. Of course this hurts You. He is devalue ing Your feelings when He does that. He's causing You to feel inadequate, And That's Not Kind and Loving Behavior!!
At this point it seems You will have to live with Him as is, or move on. He's not likely to "change"
Love Is A Choice - Make Good Choices For YourSelf!!
He is very insensitive with his words but I know most of the time he's joking but this really bothers me cause it makes me feel like he doesn't like me in that way. When we first got together he told me he loved to do that. And he had done it a couple times. Then one day I asked him about it or if he would cause I usually do oral on him but then he said ge didn't want to cause it was nastey and too wet and he don't like it. It hurt my feelings cause I've always been touchy on the whole sex issue with lack of confidence and so on so that just made me feel like I never wanted him to touch me there again. But he also expects me to do oral on him which I don't mindits just the fact that me made me throw up once cause he pushed my head down and I'm scared to throw up agan so I feel I'm nit good enough in anyway
In a loving relationship there is M U T U A L giving.
You say You do what He wants whether You enjoy it or not!! Do You give Him oral sex? and if so, doesn't that result in a suddenly 'wet' issue? Is His 'wetness' okay with Him for You to 'contend' with?
On a personal level, I would never ask, want or expect something I'm not willing to give. If Your BF is receiving and not giving, well, that seems selfish and self-serving to me.
I think he could have chosen kinder words like "oral sex really makes me uncomfortable, I'm sorry, I just don't want to do that". I don't know how much you pushed him and maybe he finally said that in exasperation because he needed to make it clear he wasn't going to do that.
So he could be more sensitive.
On the other hand, I feel very strongly that no one should be made to do something sexually that is disgusting to them. Whether other men like it or not isn't really as important as he really does NOT want to do that.
If he were just lazy and didn't want to give you a foot massage, that would be one thing. He doesn't want to do that act because he finds it disgusting.
If you're doing things to him that you find disgusting, I think you should stop that too. If you are doing things that just aren't doing much for you, or aren't your favorite thing to do for sex, that's one thing. No one should have to do something that sickens them.
If receiving oral sex is very very important to you, you might want to strongly consider ending this relationship. It's unlikely you'll be able to change his strong aversion.
So he could be more sensitive.
On the other hand, I feel very strongly that no one should be made to do something sexually that is disgusting to them. Whether other men like it or not isn't really as important as he really does NOT want to do that.
If he were just lazy and didn't want to give you a foot massage, that would be one thing. He doesn't want to do that act because he finds it disgusting.
If you're doing things to him that you find disgusting, I think you should stop that too. If you are doing things that just aren't doing much for you, or aren't your favorite thing to do for sex, that's one thing. No one should have to do something that sickens them.
If receiving oral sex is very very important to you, you might want to strongly consider ending this relationship. It's unlikely you'll be able to change his strong aversion.
Mandy, I'm sorry but he sounds like a complete jerk. If I were you, I would stop doing that for him since he won't do it for you. And if he complains then tell him his penis is gross or that it grosses you out and see how he likes it.
His attitude and what he said to you is totally not acceptable. You're right to have hurt feelings because its super mean of him to say that to you. I wouldn't put up with it personally. I would tell him off. But I'm also at a point in my life where I'm done with taking crap from people. I have pretty much a zero tolerance when it comes to people saying hurtful things to me. I think in your case, you need to get the point across to him how hurtful it is for him to say that to you and if he can't or won't apologize then don't have sex with him again until he says a genuine and sincere apology.
His attitude and what he said to you is totally not acceptable. You're right to have hurt feelings because its super mean of him to say that to you. I wouldn't put up with it personally. I would tell him off. But I'm also at a point in my life where I'm done with taking crap from people. I have pretty much a zero tolerance when it comes to people saying hurtful things to me. I think in your case, you need to get the point across to him how hurtful it is for him to say that to you and if he can't or won't apologize then don't have sex with him again until he says a genuine and sincere apology.
My first thought is wow guys usually love that. It shows they really turn you on and that your really into it. First get a pen and paper and write down what he says or does that hurts you. Then write down how it make you feel without using accusing words like "you" example " I feel mad when I'm not sexually pleased" or " I feel sad I get so wet". You need to tell him how it makes you feel. Communication is always key. Then after you say how you feel say how can we fix this? Give him the power to change it. Also you cant change that you get so wet. Maybe try having a wet wash rag handy and he can clean you up if you get to wet and continue. Also if he doesn't budge after the talk I'd go or strike. Don't do anything you don't enjoy in the bedroom and if that doesn't.
work no sex until he gets the picture
Good luck.
♡Princess.
work no sex until he gets the picture
Good luck.
♡Princess.
How would he feel if he wanted oral sex from you and you wrinkled up your nose and told him it's nasty and his penis tastes nasty? Maybe he has a general hang-up about oral sex, but if he is saying he likes to do it in general but does not like to do it with you, remind yourself that most men love oral sex in all its juicy forms and he is not the only fish in the sea.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Well, is he insensitive with his words at other times too?
He doesn't sound like he thinks before he talks. What person wouldn't realize that saying something like that would hurt someone's feelings and cause them to be self conscious.
I'd say right back "oh, that's too bad you don't like it. Most men love that."
No, you really can't change how you are if you are healthy and it is not a discharge due to a heath reason.
In truth, this is a red flag to me because he uses a word like 'it's nasty' to someone he is with and supposed to be making feel good. He's a bit selfish and hurtful in my opinion. Watch for it to spill over to other things.
good luck
He doesn't sound like he thinks before he talks. What person wouldn't realize that saying something like that would hurt someone's feelings and cause them to be self conscious.
I'd say right back "oh, that's too bad you don't like it. Most men love that."
No, you really can't change how you are if you are healthy and it is not a discharge due to a heath reason.
In truth, this is a red flag to me because he uses a word like 'it's nasty' to someone he is with and supposed to be making feel good. He's a bit selfish and hurtful in my opinion. Watch for it to spill over to other things.
good luck
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