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Avatar universal

me and my girlfriend haven't been going out long but the sex is already boring?

I've been going out with a girl for 3 months and im falling deeply in love with her, well so i think at lest, I've never been in the real thing befor i've only had mosly fake girlfriends and one night stands, but back to the point everytime we have sex she only wants to do it in one way, shes tryed giveing me a ******* telling me she wasint good at it befor we even started and she really was bad at it, not even geting past the head and i dont have a big peins so i dont get why, but theres nothing wrong with that its nice she even tryed In the first place right?everytime I suggest changing positions she says it will make her legs hurt more as she lays there like a rock, I've been told im intensely good at foreplay and i also enjoy it more then sex sometimes but she wont even let me go down there and get to business. To be honest thats really the only thing i want.i dont care about the sex coz i would be with her even if we dont do it at all. I just really want to know how to get her more into it or know if shes even injoying it in the first place. PLEASE HELP ME!

p.s i have already tryed talking to her about it with no luck. -_-.
Best Answer
Avatar universal
It sounds like she's having confidence issues to me.  That's what needs worked on, and good sex comes next.  She needs to feel beautiful and comfortable with herself.  You can help with this, but if she has deep, ingrained insecurities, she may need some counseling.
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3149845 tn?1506627771
Hi and welcome. Well first sex is not the basis of any true relationship and things can happen in life where sex is eliminated all together due to illness. The person its whats important.
Relationships are often a compromise of what you want and what they want. Just let time enter your relationship and take things slow with her and most of all take great pleasure in that she loves you for who YOU are.
True love means giving up what you want for another person for if their love is real also, they will bend to their desires for yours. Bottom line it starts with you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i dont really care about it being boring for me. I just want to make her as happy as she makes me and i dont want her to have to deal with boring sex just coz i want to do it  
Helpful - 0
3149845 tn?1506627771
Well then making her happy would be doing it the way she wants for now. If sex is something she is having issues with then its not boring to her its just the way she wants it.
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
I feel strongly that one of the deciding factors we should use in determining if a relationship is meant to be is sexual compatibility.  It could be that you two are not a match made in heaven in terms of lovers.  You can try to make the fireworks happen but when the hotness wears off after a short three months, I'm  concerned.  What's it going to be like 10 years from now, you know?  

You can keep trying and communication such as "what do you like, here's what I like" etc. can maybe help.  But it is awful early to already not have that sexual spark.  good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
How old are you two?

"To be honest thats really the only thing i want.i dont care about the sex coz i would be with her even if we dont do it at all. I just really want to know how to get her more into it or know if shes even injoying it in the first place. PLEASE HELP ME!"..........Well, you are saying the sex is "boring," and she isn't.  Seems like she is ok with what she is doing with you for now......the "one" way she wants all the time.  She's satisfied with this and you aren't is the problem.  Has she ever stated it was "boring" for her?  

Are there any other issues than this in the relationship?  This is a major one to have in a relationship.  

Some people aren't overly sexual or adventurous when it comes to sex.  You will have to decide whether this is something you are willing to keep dealing with or not.  You did state you would be with her even if you didn't have sex.

Can't change someone not interested in changing.  

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
were both 18, and none at all
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
she says she likes the sex alot but i dont know how to tell if she really does
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well.....if she says she likes it, the sex, then there is your answer.  She isn't complaining or avoiding the sex.  

To me it sounds like YOU are sexually frustrated; you want her to do or like the things you like to do after a short period time dating.

To add......you have ONLY been dating for about 3 months which isn't a long time.  Perhaps over time she might evolve more sexually as she is ONLY 18.  She doesn't sound like she has been too sexual in her past; sounds like you have more experience than she does.  

When and IF she evolves sexually........???   Who knows.  

She has told you she is ok with whatever you all are doing and you will have to take her word on that.    

"p.s i have already tryed talking to her about it with no luck. -_-."........Meaning she isn't interested in changing or doing anything different at this time.  That's your answer.  




Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
she said that the first time she had sex was in 6th grade and has been with 12 guys and two of them were very long relationships and ive only been with 5 girls that were lack of a better word random witch makes me think thats shes just bored of it over all
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
and its not like shes going to tell me the sex was bad she really wants to be with me more then anything else witch means alot but all were doing is shes laying there leting me have sex with here does anyone really want that in there sex life i really dont like the feeling that im rapeing someone and thats what its really like i feel like shes just leting me coz she wants me to stay with her but i would even if she doesint want to it would just be nice to have her injoy it
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well.......why don't you curtail the sex until you find out what's really going on with her?   No one can tell you how she feels and the truth of the matter except her if there is anything to be told.  

The number of boys she has been with doesn't necessarily determine she has sexually evolved being she started having sex at 11 or 12 and she is just now 18.  I must say the number of guys in 6-7 years is high; not sure what happened there, but that is definitely concerning.  I can't say she is "bored" with it all now, but it does sound like her past could be a major factor in regards to this situation.  

If she is not talking or dialoguing over this then there isn't much to be done.  

To recap.......stop having sex with her until this is sorted; until you've figured this out.    

"p.s i have already tryed talking to her about it with no luck. -_-".............just curious, what exactly did you say to her when you tried talking to her about "it?"

To be honest.......you two sound sexually incompatible and I really don't think this is going to change anytime soon.  

Try chatting with her again and see what comes of that.
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
My initial advice to you was in the thoughts that you were older.  Are you looking for a life partner right now at your young age?  Probably not.

If the sex isn't great, it will probably get worse and I'd cut your losses now if a great sex life is important to you.  

good luck
Helpful - 0
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