i just dunno wat to do anymore.....how i wan to make my bf to trust me?

[keyss]

"i los my virginity to my THIS bf".....the story starts like this.....i am a 21 year old gal.....i do have many ex bf before when i was in my secondary school(i was in girls school that time).,but, my feelings towards them is just a "LIKE",and treated them as friends and ....dats my past......but i never let them touch me very long....example: they wanted to hold my hand, once i feel they are touching my hand ,i will pull back my hand..i never let them have a chance to kiss me.....and we nvr do sth romantic before.....never.....my mind on that time is....i just wan to focus in my studies,for me "boyfriends " is not the thing i must put it 1st in my life....i know it might sound unbelievable,people ask me "then why must u have so many bf on dat time eventho u dun love them?".....i just couldn't answer....its just my past,and im not mature yet ,and im not ready yet to be serious in relationship.. Till one day,before i enter university, i told myself, i must take everything serious.......my life,my studies,and even the partner that i wan to share my life with.....i wan my life to be meaningful.....i wan to be mature.....after that i met THIS guy......i had admire him for a very long time before.... and so.......i choose to be serious wit him(i reli love him,he is the onli guy that i ever open up my heart just for him,i onli give my EVERYTHING to him) we hav been together for 1 year plus alrdy......the 1st time we do x together,he found ders no blood.....he tot i hv x wit other guy b4.....honestly,i reli nvr do dat b4......i told him......i dont know he believe or not......but on the next day.....he told me "4get about it"........i was so shock and sad.........dis is not the first time we quarrel.....everytime we quarrel ,ders always no solution, i wan to talk to him ,but he always said forget about it.......After 1 year, one day,wen we do x....he straight away put 3 finger into my thing...... After dat,he no mood..... i asked why,he sed he curious bout something.....he sed.....when he see the porn, the guy just put in 1 finger, but why mine can put 3 finger.........he sed mine loose alredy and sed my hole is big......i feel so sad......wat should i do? why must he say me like dis? i m a pharmacy student for 1 year.....and so i know abit bout dis.....i told him ......mine are elastic....dats why can put 3 finger or any u like.....but he seems like dont want to believe me.......wat shud i do? i love him......but why he dont believe me?how i wan to explain to him? i reali nvr do x b4......pls....i just duno wat to do.....all dis while with him......i so stress....pls give me a scientific explaination.....what happen to me?why th 1st time we do x......im not bleeding?why for my bf, my hole is big?(i am a girl dat are very active for 7years or more.....cycling all.....i even drop and hit my bike many many times......is dis one of the cause?i even join national service before.......doing all the tough activity.....is dis one of the cause too?i even help my grandmothers to chop tree,climb the tree,do everything dat guys do,since small.....(i love to do dis)is dis also one of the cause?)pla....help me.......ppl tell me.....if ur bf love u,he wil trust you,........but why i dun feel dat he trust me? everytime when we start to make love,i feel like.......if he dun trust me.....why he still wan to make love wit me.......sory....i just.........too much problems

[scarlet135]

R U CRAZY!! Your boyfriend has no right to violate you. The person who sticks three fingers into someone's vagina and balmes them for `non-virginity' and `loose-vagina' doesn't deserve to have a gf at all!!!

What does it matter even if you really did have sex with somebody else before. He doesn't love you.  Trust me I have been through this before. Don't ruin the rest of your life with him!!

[peaceinknowing]

Without trust within a relationship, there is no relationship. You seem to be an honest person -- you have no reason to come onto a public website and lie -- so, if he can't trust the fact that you're telling the truth, then maybe it's time you go back to your old ways, where you felt that life should and NEEDS to be meaningful. In other words, talk this over with him, and if it's not something he is willing to communicate with you about, then maybe it'll be within your best interest to start living your life again for you, and if someone else comes around that makes your heart melt -- then that will be the one you try to conciously make an effort towards a serious relationship with.

Keep posting, and let us know how everything pans out for you. Just keep in mind that we're all here to help one another out the best way[s] that we know how.

[jenkaye21]

He has treated you very badly.  I am sorry if you ahve already lost your virginity to him.  You deserve better.
I know you want(ed) it to be special the first time, but sometimes even smart girls make mistakes.  Don't feel you have to stay with him because of it, he is not worth it.  

[Judy246]

Only you know the truth of your virginity and you shouldn't have to prove anything to anyone, especially a guy who has probably had past sexual experiences. Also, you risk getting an infection everytime he touches you internally (unwashed hands, bacteria, etc.).

Focus on finishing your education first. This type of relationship will only cause you unecessary stress that will take away from your education, which is stress enough in college. Also, abstinance or if are going to be sexually active, be responsible and make sure he uses protection. Good luck.