I think your gf needs to talk to a therapist (not just do meds) to find our what and who she really wants and to fully support her condition.. You've said she is not coming back because you deserve more. Tell her the 'more: is her getting help with a therapist (talking about it ) and then you and her also taking to the therapist together about how to possibly move forward. WE have a responsibility to support our friends and family by insisting that they get help if they need it.
If she refused to take action, then you need to walk away, otherwise you will be drawn into a co dependent relationship and it will ruin your life and hers. She also needs someone that directs her (supports her) into getting the help she needs. Professional help at this point. Does she care enough to do that? Actions speak louder than words, in this case.
Please be good to yourself. so that you can still enjoy your life without her in the picture. No matter what, we cannot let anyone else take that light out of our lives. Blessings to you.
Always feel free to talk about how you feel. There is a journal section here at medhelp, that others can see or just you can see. Time will heal but it will take time. It sometimes helps to keep a journal. It helps to keep our feelings compartmentalized so we can go on and still enjoy our lives day to day.
I'm here if you need to talk privately, as we all are by using the private message on an individuals Profile Page. Also If you do write a journal and leave it open for others to read, they can also comment and support you , as the days and months go on.
We're here for you. Although not everyone comments, or not immediately, there are many reading your story, that have experienced what you are .
i knew that she was medication for depression or bipolar not sure which
So, you need to know what condition your spouse to be is suffering from and take that very seriously. It's a condition that could ruin her life, like juvenile diabetes, or addiction.
People split up to cheat.
They use alcohol or drugs as an excuse to cheat.
Your girl has kissed an ex.
Lost her inhibitions to have sex with her ex.
Cheated again with her ex.
I'm not so sure if you are the decoy, or he is at this stage.
Your girl needs help. Help from you. You have to insist that she get's this straightened out.
If she was diabetic, and not stable, you would go with her to the hospital and sit down and talk to a doctor about the ways to keep her issues solved.
If you don't insist on medical intervention, or psychological intervention, i fear you are enabling this type of behavior in your relationships.
This is not good for you. You are a person that deserves to be respected and not hurt and cheated on, and left for dead, on a sexual whim.
You need to value yourself enough, be mentally healthy yourself enough, not to accept behavior from anybody that doesn't care to figure out how treat you as you deserve.
I think you should talk to a therapist and ask why you would sell your soul for a girl. Who is flawed.
You shouldn't be going down to that level. You should insist she comes up to your level.
But you have to know your level. in order to expect her to join you.
Have you suffered from having co dependence in relationships before?
Have you ever thought about that ?
What is the current situation now? Have you tried to contact her or tell her how you feel? Would you be able to allow her to regain your trust and begin again? I can see where she is coming from in this aspect. Sometimes a person fails to see the real person they say they love at the relationship's start. But going through experiences together, trials together, and sometimes the hurtful pain felt during conflict can make the one on the rocks reconsider the value of their partner and seek a new beginning where they really get to know them and love them, including flaws and all.
The choice is up to you. She may be waiting to hear from you with positive changes burgeoning in her life if you haven't already contacted her. She may be able to give you the other 10 percent of an amazing relationship.