Avatar universal

newly married and need help

Hi everyone I have a huge problem.  I have been with my wife 6 years but only married a little over a year.  About 2 years ago amongst planning a wedding and dealing with work, hectic schedules, constant petty arguments and some added family drama my wife (fiance at the time) split didnt speak to eachother, didn't stay in the same home... Anyhow i did have a one night stand. Am i proud of it NO. but it happened and to make it worse i got chlamydia which was treated and my wife does know about it.

Since then we have made nothing but progress in our relationship in our marriage to make things as close to perfect as possible.  We go to counseling, we calmly work out our differences.

But since the event of me getting chlamydia I have become very anxious and paranoid about every aspect of my life especially my health.  That being said i have been to 6 doctors, 2 urologist on numerous occasions, a dermatologist.  Because I don't feel the same as i did before my bad sexual experience.  

And now it has been 3 weeks since i last seen a dermatologist and 5 months from any other doctor and I am freaking out i think i may have hpv, because my lips feel funny and my skin it kind of dry and rashy and my penis looks dry and sometimes feels funny.  

Now I just dont know what to do. Im not sure if its just my anxiety or if im just a hypochondriac or if there is something truly wrong, and if there is how doi tell my wife?  I am finally revolving past issues and enjoying my married life then this happens.

How do i confront my wife? Should I see a doctor first? Should we both go to the doctor together?  
7 Responses
3149845 tn?1506627771
Hi, firstly since your were treated for the chlamydia (which is very common) you did not pass it to your wife and being this was 2 years ago, even without treatment your bodies immune system would have cleared it up by itself.

Dry skin is not a symptom of any std and your penis feeling funny is almost certainly anxiety based. Some times having anal issues like hemorrhoids can make the penis feel funny as all the nerves are connected.

Theres no reason to believe you have any std as major symptoms would have showed up after a year and mentioning this to your wife would not be any benefit.
Avatar universal
Thank you i just feel so anxious and sometimes depressed to the point i want to cry because i feel guilty for my actions still.  I have even recently been turning down sex because my anxiety is so strong.  Which is almost insane because if i have something she most likely would by now also.
3149845 tn?1506627771
What actions? You were separated at the time.  Most of us already have hpv and if youve ever had a finger wart as a child, thats HPV.
Avatar universal
I suppose yes you are correct, but there are nearly 200 different strains of hpv.  Idk ive just got mixed emotions on what to do.
3149845 tn?1506627771
There nothing you can do as theres no testing for this but if she did not have any warts at the time you did not contact it. You really need to get to the bottom  of this anxiety. Maybe post in the anxiety forum for added support but theres one thing we have to learn if we are to age and grow properly and thats to control our emotions. What your exibiting is a total waste of your time and energy
You have a classic case of STD anxiety so maybe talk to your counslor about this in a private session. Its all for naught.
Avatar universal
Thank you sir I am trying and do appreciate you taking the time to write back to me.
Avatar universal
I agree with Life360! I think you're being super paranoid and need a counselor, more than anything. I think you need to search within yourself, and find out why you haven't forgiven yourself for your past mistakes. Maybe later on, marriage counseling too, just to bring your wife up to speed with where you're truly at. One thing is for sure, if you're not honest with your wife, this will drive a wedge between you. She's going to start thinking something else is going on, like you cheating or something. It's best to be honest, and she may be able to help you through some of it. But it sounds like a personal journey, to me. You're creating this problem, in your mind, and you need to figure out how to stop, with the help of a mental health professional. Best of luck!
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