someone tell it to me straight

[Worriesome231]

ill try my hardest to give the shortest but most cohesive version of this story I can.

back in 2016, I fell deeply in love with this girl (let's call her Jackie). I met Jackie at a job we mutually worked at and since day 1 we were inseparable. We have been in nonstop communication since that day in some form or fashion. we fell deeply in love. as all couples do we had our issues but always worked them out (more on this later). on our 3-year anniversary, I talked to her about getting a place and moving her in so we can get married. this was always a goal after we finish college together. as soon as those words came out of my mouth she became aggressively pushy. asking me to move into a house not an apt as she didn't want to rent, which I was willing to do if she would help secure the house. the aggressive behavior only escolated. sex was never a very prominent thing but it was something we enjoyed doing when the mood was right. but after that, she pushed off all of my advances. it made me feel like I was getting fat or ugly or something to her. im not sure how to explain it.  towards the end of our relationship we were on a beach trip we take annually. its like a big family thing) when she suddenly starts talking to an old high school friend. Now, im not a jealous man, and i trust her. pretty much as soon as we come back to our start she told me he made sexual advances toward her and she reciprocated. By that i mean like on snapchat. heartbroken deff but I love this woman with all my heart and truly believed she was my one and only so i was willing to work it out. a monthish later she calls me and says she's done. since that day two years have passed and inbetween that time things return to a normal and we do all the things we use to do (take care of each other, gifts, words of affirmation the whole nine) but then randomly some guy will enter into her life and it becomes very sketchy. she starts lying to me, becoming very secretive. When i try to talk to her about my feelings its like she turns into a completely different human being. devoid of all empathy and emotion. she says things that cut hard and deep. when i try to make the case that friends dont do what we do she just gets really angry.

  i dont know what to this about all this all i know is that shes my best friend and still is to this day. My rock, the person i can trust to always be there when i need them. Her family is my family, i love them with all my heart and they love me. I refuse to give up my friendship with her because she means everything to me.  I dont know what to make of all this.

Personally, i feel like she still cares for me like i do her otherwise why would she and i do the things we do ( speaking on the couples esque stuff like taking care of each other)

ill be totally honest, if giving her, her family, all the memories and experiences i had with all of them was the only option. i dont know if i would wanna carry on anymore.

still give it to me straight. What do yall think?

[auntiejessi]

I think you already know what we'll say, right? You say that "friends don't do what we do", but friends don't treat each other the way she treats you.

If she respected you, she wouldn't be with other men, in whatever form that takes for her. She wouldn't be hurting you, over and over again.

You tie it all in with your relationship with her family, and she... doesn't. You have made this woman your life, and she hasn't returned that.

Now you say if you have to give that up, you don't know if you'd want to go on. Well, you do have the option of carrying on just as you are. Are you okay with that? Some people have open relationships. Can you do that? Can you do it not just to keep her and watch yourself shrivel away to nothing, but to do it with honesty and fairness?

You can do better than this. You don't have to settle for always being miserable.