Aa
I made a mistake when I was a child and now I am worried.
I am 19 years old boy now. When I was 13-14 years old (I don't remember my exact age) I received and gave blowjob and I also had both passive and active anal sex with a boy who was 1 year older than me. However it wasn't like anal sex exactly. We just inserted our penises to our anus and played and rubbed. But one day he masturbated and ejaculated to my anus. We did these things like once a week. I know that this is very stupid and shameful thing. I regret it everyday. I always tried to be a real man until today and I am trying to. But when I remember this stupid thing, I feel very very bad and awful. I want to be a man but I feel like I will not regardless of how hard I try to be a real man. I am also not a gay or homosexual. (I respect all people) I am straight and heterosexual. I have no interest to boys. I am really sexually atractted to girls. I couldn't and can't sleep well sometimes and think about these severe STD's and my stupid actions. I also never had sex after this stupid things. Whatever, I had HBsAg, Anti-HBs, Anti-HCV and Anti-HIV test and all were negative. But I forgot to take syphilis test. Do I really need to get syphilis test? Could I have syphilis until that time? Also I have headaches everyday since 5-6 years. Can it be neurosyphilis? If I won't take any tests will it be a risky choice and can it affect my marriage in the future? Thanks.
Thank you very much for everybody who responsed.
1 Comments
You're welcome. Hope you're feeling better now. :)
Hello. I'm not the usual person to comment on questions here, and I'm sure they will answer, too. I'm sure you do not have any STDs, but I will let them talk about that. I'm replying because the way you spoke about your manliness really affected me. I can feel your inner pain and turmoil about this in your words. First off, those experiences you had as a young teen have nothing to do with manliness or lack of manliness. They aren't connected. It's a false cultural norm. I know plenty of very gay men who are incredibly manly. I'm replying to see if I can challenge you to reconsider your feelings about being a man and those experiences. Life is seldom black and white and many things fall on a continuum. Where they are not 100% one thing or the other. They are a mix of two or more things. Our sexualities can be like that. Some are many are straight while some are gay and other are bisexual and everything in between. I believe the idea is summed up in the Kinsey Scale of you want to Google it.
Anyway, there is nothing wrong with your manliness or your sexuality. You have judged this negatively when you're not supposed to judge it at all. You don't need to think about it further or tell any women in the future if you don't want to. But please, let go of the judgment you feel and have expressed. It's not serving you.
My best wishes to you.
Anyway, there is nothing wrong with your manliness or your sexuality. You have judged this negatively when you're not supposed to judge it at all. You don't need to think about it further or tell any women in the future if you don't want to. But please, let go of the judgment you feel and have expressed. It's not serving you.
My best wishes to you.
1 Comments
So first, we just love SkaterDave. Great answer. I agree totally. Whether or not you have any attraction towards men has no relevance to your manliness. Everything he said about sexuality is true, so I'm just going to let his answer stand as it is - it's fantastic.
As to your STD questions, I sincerely doubt you have syphilis, but if it would make you feel better to test for it, and finally just put it to rest for good, then test for it. Syphilis is uncommon in most places, and at 14 or 15 years old, I'd suspect that both of you weren't sexually active prior to being with each other, meaning that you couldn't have a risk for any STDs.
I don't know what is causing your headaches, but talk to your doctor about it. You don't need to mention your sexual activities at all. Stress can cause headaches, but lots of other things can, too. Your doctor will ask where your pain is, how bad it is, etc., to determine what kind of headaches they are, and what kind of treatment, if any, you need.
Here's some information about headaches that may help:
https://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/migraines-headaches-basics
https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000797.htm
You're going to be fine - you actually are fine now, but I hope you let go of the judgement you are putting on yourself. That's really important. I wish you the absolute best.
As to your STD questions, I sincerely doubt you have syphilis, but if it would make you feel better to test for it, and finally just put it to rest for good, then test for it. Syphilis is uncommon in most places, and at 14 or 15 years old, I'd suspect that both of you weren't sexually active prior to being with each other, meaning that you couldn't have a risk for any STDs.
I don't know what is causing your headaches, but talk to your doctor about it. You don't need to mention your sexual activities at all. Stress can cause headaches, but lots of other things can, too. Your doctor will ask where your pain is, how bad it is, etc., to determine what kind of headaches they are, and what kind of treatment, if any, you need.
Here's some information about headaches that may help:
https://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/migraines-headaches-basics
https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000797.htm
You're going to be fine - you actually are fine now, but I hope you let go of the judgement you are putting on yourself. That's really important. I wish you the absolute best.
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
