So first, let me tell you a little about herpes and herpetic whitlow.
Herpes infects nerve groups. This means that if you have genital herpes, it's ONLY genital herpes - you won't get symptoms orally, and vice versa. It doesn't - it can't - travel through your body and give you symptoms anywhere else.
Herpetic whitlow - herpes on the finger - isn't that common, and is almost always hsv1. Many who get it are dentists and others who are in that field. It's very painful, and I assure you that if she had a whitlow outbreak, she probably wouldn't be using that hand to give you a hand job.
So, what are you at risk for from a hand job? Nothing. I'll include some links at the bottom that explain why.
The bumps that you see on your lips and penis are probably oil glands. They're totally normal and very useful.
Viral shedding of herpes is asymptomatic, meaning when it happens, it gives no symptoms. I have no idea what your doctor is talking about. Your tests are negative, and conclusive since you tested negative at the 16 week mark. You could have a yeast infection, but if you do, that has absolutely nothing to do with herpes, and from what you've said here, and your test results, you have no reason to take the Valtrex.
I'd take your test results and see a dermatologist about your skin stuff, but you can't have gotten herpes from this. I'm not sure why you're so upset about getting a hand job, or if there's guilt involved because you have a partner (and you don't need to tell me), but you had no risk for anything.
And certainly you had no risk for HIV. The only sexual ways to transmit HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse.
Here are some posts from our experts (when we had them) that may help -
- read this thread thoroughly. There is an excellent explanation about why certain activities are not risks, and why others are.
You really can let the STD stuff go. Your doctor isn't helping anything at all, but I'd bet if you got a second opinion, they'd say you don't have one.