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Risk for STD's through unprotected Oral sex
I am a 31 year old male who recently just had one of the largest lapse of mistake I have ever made in my life. To save a long story and make it into a short one, this is the facts. I had unprotected oral sex with a escort. I don't know what I was thinking, and as soon as it was over, I seemed to snap out of it and rushed out as fast as I basically could. It lasted for about 5-10 minutes, and I did ejaculate in her mouth, but not all the way in. I am perfectly healthy, no cuts or openings on or around my penis, and from the brief time I spent with her, I did not see any anything wrong with the outside of her mouth, but was not really looking for it either. Out of a nervous wreck, I actually called her and talked to her the next day and she said that she was okay, and did not have anything, but if I was not the only guy she is giving unprotected oral sex too, then that was my issue. How could she know? I rushed out and started to become a nervous wreck. What did I just do? What did I just risk? I am married with my wife being in her third trimester. We have had sex maybe 2-3 times in the past 7.5 months. I love her more than anything and would rather live with the guilt of cheating then tell her and loose the best thing I ever had in my life. I cannot believe I let this get to me and get so far but it did. I have read some re-assuring articles from here, and did research on the doctors that posted the re-assuring results to help me cope with their answers as knowledgeable and truthful, but then again for a worrisome person as myself, I wanted the opportunity to tell my exact story so that the facts were out there for my case and hopefully my professional answer coming from a creditable source would help me get some sleep, eat, and recover from the worst mistake of my life. Its hard just to sleep let alone by the side of my wife to which the guilt of giving her something is killing me.
I wanted to reach out, because this act took place two days ago. This afternoon will be a full 48 hours (I am writing in the AM central time). I know this is a short period of time, but to me it has already been two weeks in my mind....
1. I have come to understand that oral sex is considered safe sex. Safer than anal/vaginal, and that the odds are slim to none that I got a STD in my case correct?
2. What is the time frame for symptoms that are related to what STDS I could get and if they would show if I was infected (Mainly worried about herpes and syphilis here.) I have read that you will know if you have herpes within 2 weeks, but the syphilis time frame is what is killing me. If it is treatable through a shot or oral medicine, could I just take it to be safe and get it over with so I don't transmit it when my wife and I want to have sex? 3 months is a long time. Gonorrhea I should know soon, if not now... and to my understanding Chlamydia is not transmitted orally.
3. I am going to try and not have sex with my wife till our baby is born. That is coming in mid may (6 weeks). Plus the extra time after that for her since she will not be able to have sex for some sort of time. I do not want to pass anything to her. How will I know if I have something or if I don't? I read that the time frame from knowing on syphilis is 3 months? If I can treat it, I would rather just go ahead and treat and be in the clear.
As of now, I am normal. No signs of burning, or infection, mucus, or anything of that nature. But, it's only day two. Advice on where I am at, what to do, and what is the real likely hood of me actually getting a STD from this encounter.
I sincerely thank you for your time with this post. You have no idea how much this is going to help put me at ease.
Hanging on your response.
James
I wanted to reach out, because this act took place two days ago. This afternoon will be a full 48 hours (I am writing in the AM central time). I know this is a short period of time, but to me it has already been two weeks in my mind....
1. I have come to understand that oral sex is considered safe sex. Safer than anal/vaginal, and that the odds are slim to none that I got a STD in my case correct?
2. What is the time frame for symptoms that are related to what STDS I could get and if they would show if I was infected (Mainly worried about herpes and syphilis here.) I have read that you will know if you have herpes within 2 weeks, but the syphilis time frame is what is killing me. If it is treatable through a shot or oral medicine, could I just take it to be safe and get it over with so I don't transmit it when my wife and I want to have sex? 3 months is a long time. Gonorrhea I should know soon, if not now... and to my understanding Chlamydia is not transmitted orally.
3. I am going to try and not have sex with my wife till our baby is born. That is coming in mid may (6 weeks). Plus the extra time after that for her since she will not be able to have sex for some sort of time. I do not want to pass anything to her. How will I know if I have something or if I don't? I read that the time frame from knowing on syphilis is 3 months? If I can treat it, I would rather just go ahead and treat and be in the clear.
As of now, I am normal. No signs of burning, or infection, mucus, or anything of that nature. But, it's only day two. Advice on where I am at, what to do, and what is the real likely hood of me actually getting a STD from this encounter.
I sincerely thank you for your time with this post. You have no idea how much this is going to help put me at ease.
Hanging on your response.
James
I'm in the exact same boat. I had an experience that was the exact same and got tested the exact same time as well. I'm a nervous wreck! I was experiencing burning urine in the morning only. Based on this and my worries, the dr gave me treatment and gave me doxycycline for my wife to take. My urine results came back negative. We did not have sex and I lied saying it was a bacterial uti. She took it without question because she trusts me which made me feel even worse. We had sex again on the 10 day mark and now a week later I feel a pressure on my bladder. But it only seems to come if I focus on it.
1.if I have a uti due to chlymitya would it feel like I have to go all the time? I feel pressure but it goes away when I run or jump which I do to see if I have to pee or if it's my head. Or if I lay on my stomach. Idk what it is and I'm so scared I gave my love something. I have been randomly crying from guilt and sometimes vomiting. I have no burning and no discharge either. My wife also shows no symptoms. When I feel the bladder pressure I can pee but sometimes it takes a while, like I'm forcing myself to.
1.if I have a uti due to chlymitya would it feel like I have to go all the time? I feel pressure but it goes away when I run or jump which I do to see if I have to pee or if it's my head. Or if I lay on my stomach. Idk what it is and I'm so scared I gave my love something. I have been randomly crying from guilt and sometimes vomiting. I have no burning and no discharge either. My wife also shows no symptoms. When I feel the bladder pressure I can pee but sometimes it takes a while, like I'm forcing myself to.
This was a very helpful read. I am in the same boat. Wife is not pregnant but yeah a nervous wreck. Thanks!
Got more results back from the doctor. I was tested again for herpes and Syphilis. I came back negative. After getting these results and speaking with the doctor, she told me that I am okay and clear since both rounds of testing came back negative for herpes. I do believe now that my anxiety got control of me and freaked me out. I am just glad is over.
This will be my sign off post. I wanted to put this here for other people that are freaking out due to a bad mistake, in hopes that it gives them some sort of relief. Lets all make better choices and think with the right head!
This will be my sign off post. I wanted to put this here for other people that are freaking out due to a bad mistake, in hopes that it gives them some sort of relief. Lets all make better choices and think with the right head!
Just wanted to post an update for everybody that has responded to this post or that might come across it in hopes to find some sort of resolve if they were in the same situation as myself.
I went and got tested at the 9 day mark. Results came back Neg for Gon and Clam.
I reached out to Life 360 for some advice since he seemed to be in the herpes forum more than anything, and asked some questions about HSV. Since I didnt know for sure if I have had HSV1 growing up, he suggested me to get tested to know baseline and move forward from there. I visited with my doctor, and she said that she likes to test for IgG and IgM as IgM would let us know if there was a recent infection or transmission. IgG would let us know if I already had it. All tests for HSV 1 and 2 on IgG and IgM came back negative, This information, coupled with me not having any symptoms almost three weeks in, and the woman not having any kind of open sores, lesions or cuts in or around her mouth, my doctor feels that there was no transmission, and found it very unlikely like all of the respected people here stated as well.
Syphillis was tested as well, came back negative, but was not long enough from the encounter. I will get tested in 3 more weeks. Something that did help me though that life360 said and my doctor agreed with for thought... Even if she did have it which is rare, if my skin was healthy and had no openings for anything to infect me with, I was okay from transmission. So like Vance and Life 360 said, Syphilis for oral sex is slim to none.
I hope this helps some people reading this. Vance, Life 360, and Alan74 were a major help, and spot on. My anxiety and guilt was on a full frontal assault. I owe you a very big thankyou to all of you. What you do on here is so helpful. Especially for people that are in nervous wrecks. Thank you very much.
Guys if something in my post was incorrect, or if there is something else you would like to add, please post. I will post my results for syphilis when that time comes as well as herpes.
I went and got tested at the 9 day mark. Results came back Neg for Gon and Clam.
I reached out to Life 360 for some advice since he seemed to be in the herpes forum more than anything, and asked some questions about HSV. Since I didnt know for sure if I have had HSV1 growing up, he suggested me to get tested to know baseline and move forward from there. I visited with my doctor, and she said that she likes to test for IgG and IgM as IgM would let us know if there was a recent infection or transmission. IgG would let us know if I already had it. All tests for HSV 1 and 2 on IgG and IgM came back negative, This information, coupled with me not having any symptoms almost three weeks in, and the woman not having any kind of open sores, lesions or cuts in or around her mouth, my doctor feels that there was no transmission, and found it very unlikely like all of the respected people here stated as well.
Syphillis was tested as well, came back negative, but was not long enough from the encounter. I will get tested in 3 more weeks. Something that did help me though that life360 said and my doctor agreed with for thought... Even if she did have it which is rare, if my skin was healthy and had no openings for anything to infect me with, I was okay from transmission. So like Vance and Life 360 said, Syphilis for oral sex is slim to none.
I hope this helps some people reading this. Vance, Life 360, and Alan74 were a major help, and spot on. My anxiety and guilt was on a full frontal assault. I owe you a very big thankyou to all of you. What you do on here is so helpful. Especially for people that are in nervous wrecks. Thank you very much.
Guys if something in my post was incorrect, or if there is something else you would like to add, please post. I will post my results for syphilis when that time comes as well as herpes.
Stop beating yourself up. Stand back and look rationally at one you have already discussed.
Of the bacterial STDs only gonorrhea and nongonococcal urethritis (NGU) are transmitted through oral sex; for all practical purposes, chlamydia is not and without an obvious sore or lesion on your partner’s mouth, the chances of syphilis and herpes is likewise tiny."
Gonorrhea and NGU-1 week, syphilis-6 weeks, herpes-3 months.
STD's are not judgmental, they do not infect on the basis you cheated on your pregnant wife. They infect purely on their existence and their ability to transmit. It all likelihood the escort was clean and therefore couldn't transmit what she didn't have.
Even if she did have a STD the transmission risk is extremely low.
The fact this is one time encounter puts your risk almost of the charts for no risk.
Take the tests for you peace of mind which I am sure will be negative and then keep away from the internet. Your biggest burden here is anxiexty and guilt I am afraid. That you must come to terms with yourself. Stay well.
Of the bacterial STDs only gonorrhea and nongonococcal urethritis (NGU) are transmitted through oral sex; for all practical purposes, chlamydia is not and without an obvious sore or lesion on your partner’s mouth, the chances of syphilis and herpes is likewise tiny."
Gonorrhea and NGU-1 week, syphilis-6 weeks, herpes-3 months.
STD's are not judgmental, they do not infect on the basis you cheated on your pregnant wife. They infect purely on their existence and their ability to transmit. It all likelihood the escort was clean and therefore couldn't transmit what she didn't have.
Even if she did have a STD the transmission risk is extremely low.
The fact this is one time encounter puts your risk almost of the charts for no risk.
Take the tests for you peace of mind which I am sure will be negative and then keep away from the internet. Your biggest burden here is anxiexty and guilt I am afraid. That you must come to terms with yourself. Stay well.
The reason why I took the extra step in going to see if there was any sores or lesions on or around her mouth was I found this article (link below) were Edward W Hook gives a reply to a individual who is in a point like myself and many others on this forum. In his reply, he states that...
"Of the bacterial STDs only gonorrhea and nongonococcal urethritis (NGU) are transmitted through oral sex; for all practical purposes, chlamydia is not and without an obvious sore or lesion on your partner’s mouth, the chances of syphilis and herpes is likewise tiny."
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Worrying-about-an-unprotected-oral-sex--need-help/show/1923553
This is why I posted this, this morning. Many people look to you for advice, and are so worried then even seek additional assurance. I understand that it can be bothering. My aim is not to be that way, and if I am, I truly apologize. I read this, looked like I might have a little bit more of a sign of relief after reading this, and wanted to know your thoughts. My main worry coming from this was Herpes.
That was a waste of money. Seek a therapist to help you with anxiety and guilt issues. Nothing more I can really tell you about STD transmission. Her mouth condition will not tell you anything about a STD.
Vance,
I have a update for you and would like to know your additional thoughts if that would be okay. After discussing yesterday it was apparent to me that my real risk was if the CSW had any open sores on the lips or mouth since we both know that I was okay with no open sores or cuts. I actually called the her back and set up a time to meet with her again and offered her a deal. For my peace of mind, I offered her 100.00 if I could examine her mouth. Sounded like a weird request, but she understood. I gave her the money and turned on all the lights in the room and began to really look at everything. There was no sores, cuts or any irritation on her lips or mouth. I also asked her to raise and lower her lips so I could see her gums, and the valley part between the gums and lips. Everything looked fine. No cuts, sores, or irritation. Nothing on the top or bottom of the tongue as well. After doing this twice, She understood that I nervous, and said that she just recently took a full STD test and everything came back negative.
I guess what I am asking is that now I know that there was no open areas for infection, on or in her mouth, how well does this favor me for my low risk additional? I apologize in advance for the additional questions, just seeking information to ease my mind additionally.
I have a update for you and would like to know your additional thoughts if that would be okay. After discussing yesterday it was apparent to me that my real risk was if the CSW had any open sores on the lips or mouth since we both know that I was okay with no open sores or cuts. I actually called the her back and set up a time to meet with her again and offered her a deal. For my peace of mind, I offered her 100.00 if I could examine her mouth. Sounded like a weird request, but she understood. I gave her the money and turned on all the lights in the room and began to really look at everything. There was no sores, cuts or any irritation on her lips or mouth. I also asked her to raise and lower her lips so I could see her gums, and the valley part between the gums and lips. Everything looked fine. No cuts, sores, or irritation. Nothing on the top or bottom of the tongue as well. After doing this twice, She understood that I nervous, and said that she just recently took a full STD test and everything came back negative.
I guess what I am asking is that now I know that there was no open areas for infection, on or in her mouth, how well does this favor me for my low risk additional? I apologize in advance for the additional questions, just seeking information to ease my mind additionally.
Thank you Vance. I understand that it probably is slightly aggravating when paranoid people seek advice, but it is therapeutic. Your stance in this forum is well respected, and I am very appreciative for you and your time.
I will get tested a couple of times to ensure that everything is okay. It seems to me from your last sentence in your last reply that you would believe that I am on the side of not having a std in this encounter. Is that the likelihood of how low risk it is?
It is more likely not to get a STD then it is to get a STD from oral sex. I can't say what a Dr's office will do or will not do with medication. I will say that syphilis is uncommon for the mouth and uncommon for women in America.
I recommend testing because you have a wife, if you were single then I would not.
I recommend testing because you have a wife, if you were single then I would not.
Vance,
First, Thank you very much for your reply. It means a lot. Having read my post, do you feel that I am over reacting about my possibilities of STD's being contracted through my altercation? Seems that Doctor Hook and Handsfield feel that the likelyhood of these happening are very slim (due to EXTENSIVE nervous reading) but i guess what I am really looking for is how low risk is low risk? I have read that even if people are infected with STD's that it is still difficult for somebody to get it. Is this correct? I do not know if it means anything, but when I left, i whipped my penis down with a alcohol swab roughly 20 minutes after the altercation. I don't know if that helps anything or not, but in my mind I was searching for anything to help.
Here is the worrisome part in me... Would I be able to request medication from a doctor to treat Syphilis before getting to the 6 week mark before then? I feel my main two concerns right now are Herpes and Syphilis. Reason being because Gonorrhea and NGU can be treated and detectable pretty easily. If I can knock out any possibilities of Syphilis with medication before 6 weeks, I would rather do that instead of wait. Herpes, well just praying I do not have herpes. Really trusting what I have read on here for my chances to be " low risk".
The fact that it is low risk in itself is relieving to say the least. I read these posts from other people that are going through mental torment as myself, and to my knowledge, Handsfield and Hook tell them that they are fine and not to worry about testing as the risk is very low. So confidently in fact that they state that most people even hearing from advice from a medical professional still seek testing (Which is understandable) and after reading responses, I don't think I recall one person saying that they came down with anything when they had similar stories as mine (escort).
I am just searching for some kind of relief from this. I always shoot to the worst case scenario in situations and I hate that about myself. I will get tested, just trying looking to fully understand everything and get the most education as possible. Can you please provide a little bit more insight?
regards and appreciative,
James
First, Thank you very much for your reply. It means a lot. Having read my post, do you feel that I am over reacting about my possibilities of STD's being contracted through my altercation? Seems that Doctor Hook and Handsfield feel that the likelyhood of these happening are very slim (due to EXTENSIVE nervous reading) but i guess what I am really looking for is how low risk is low risk? I have read that even if people are infected with STD's that it is still difficult for somebody to get it. Is this correct? I do not know if it means anything, but when I left, i whipped my penis down with a alcohol swab roughly 20 minutes after the altercation. I don't know if that helps anything or not, but in my mind I was searching for anything to help.
Here is the worrisome part in me... Would I be able to request medication from a doctor to treat Syphilis before getting to the 6 week mark before then? I feel my main two concerns right now are Herpes and Syphilis. Reason being because Gonorrhea and NGU can be treated and detectable pretty easily. If I can knock out any possibilities of Syphilis with medication before 6 weeks, I would rather do that instead of wait. Herpes, well just praying I do not have herpes. Really trusting what I have read on here for my chances to be " low risk".
The fact that it is low risk in itself is relieving to say the least. I read these posts from other people that are going through mental torment as myself, and to my knowledge, Handsfield and Hook tell them that they are fine and not to worry about testing as the risk is very low. So confidently in fact that they state that most people even hearing from advice from a medical professional still seek testing (Which is understandable) and after reading responses, I don't think I recall one person saying that they came down with anything when they had similar stories as mine (escort).
I am just searching for some kind of relief from this. I always shoot to the worst case scenario in situations and I hate that about myself. I will get tested, just trying looking to fully understand everything and get the most education as possible. Can you please provide a little bit more insight?
regards and appreciative,
James
1. It is safe when it comes to HIV, but it is low risk for STD's.
2. Some might not show symptoms, so never a good idea to look for them, espically if you have anxiety because you fill "find something" or "feel something".
3. Only way to know is from testing. Gonorrhea and NGU-1 week, syphilis-6 weeks, herpes-3 months.
2. Some might not show symptoms, so never a good idea to look for them, espically if you have anxiety because you fill "find something" or "feel something".
3. Only way to know is from testing. Gonorrhea and NGU-1 week, syphilis-6 weeks, herpes-3 months.
Also wanted to add in the possibility of NGU. Which I don't know is treatable by a pill or shot, and am really not familiar with this.
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You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
