So first things first.
The only STDs you'd be at risk for from receiving unprotected oral are gonorrhea, syphilis, genital herpes type 1 (if you don't already have oral hsv1), and NGU.
Syphilis and ghsv1 wouldn't cause any of these symptoms. You'd get a sore or blisters on your penis, which you don't mention, so we can rule those out.
You had a dipstick urine test, which would have found white blood cells in your urine. That's not a terribly reliable way to diagnose NGU, which is just an infection in your urethra caused by anything except gonorrhea. Giving a urine sample and looking for white blood cells under a microscope or doing a urethral swab is far more accurate.
Testing for gonorrhea is the only way to rule that out with certainty.
Your symptoms are not typical of an STD. They could be anxiety, if you feel anxious or guilty about this.
You've had what seems like a really thorough exam. If your testicles were swollen or enlarged, the doc would have seen that.
No STD decreases your sex drive, causes dizziness, freezing/tingling or redacted penis. (I'm not even sure what that means - do you think it's shrinking? Redacted means to edit something out of text. In any case, no STD causes your penis to shrink or hide or anything like that.)
Stress and anxiety can cause a lower sex drive, and you certainly sound like those fit.
If you want to rule out NGU and gonorrhea, get specific tests for those. I'd be really surprised if you had them. Oral sex is lower risk than vaginal or anal sex.
If you still can't let it go, then see a therapist. I say that with compassion, not criticism. You deserve to be able to let this go.