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Unprotected Oral / STD Risk?

Dear all, recently had an exposure with a prostitute who gave me unprotected oral - that being said, it’s more like soft licks (2-3 licks) on the head rather than a full blown up and down movement which I stopped immediately.

It’s been 16 days without any symptoms which I give thanks everyday.

what are my risk?
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207091 tn?1337709493
COMMUNITY LEADER
In theory, this could be a risk.

In practicality, there's no risk here. There's not enough time or exposure for anything to transmit, and since it was only licks, and you weren't taken into her mouth, it would be really hard for you to get gonorrhea from her. If she had a syphilis sore on her tongue, it might be possible for you to get that, but syphilis is uncommon.

I wouldn't worry about a thing if I were you.
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14 Comments
Thanks for your comment, I feel much at ease.

She didn’t seem to have any sore / pain in her mouth. Overall no cuts / bruises anywhere. Not sure if this matters.
Can I check with you to see if changing condom when one goes limp a normal practice?

I felt a change in sensation (going limp / feeling sore) and pulled out. The worker immediately said to change a new one.

Held up the old one and it’s still in one piece / intact. Was told a broken condom will shred / obvious if it’s broken.

What’s your thought?
Yes, that's a normal practice for sex workers. Remember that their concern is protecting themselves from you. They aren't all that concerned with your health so much as theirs. Their jobs depend on remaining STD-free. You are thinking that she has sex with a lot of people, which is likely true, and she must have something. She's thinking that she has sex with a lot of people, and statistically, some have infections, and she needs to protect herself.

Yes, a condom will shred and be obvious when broken.

You are taking this apart, piece by piece, and over-thinking it. That's not necessary.

I'm guessing anxiety isn't new to you. That's a bigger problem than the very, very, very low chances of infection here. You should talk to your doctor about your anxiety and mental health. You'll feel better when you do.
Thanks so much for your detailed explanation.

You are right; I’ve always had anxiety but this time is the worst. Since the encounter (first time), I haven’t been able to sleep well and kept thinking about it. I will definitely seek professional help, once I get tested (just need that assurance)

As it was my first time, I was in shock when she asked to change (in my mind I was like did it break? Why is she asking to change!) and hence created the anxiety.

I remember seeing the ring at the end of shaft, the tip of condom is somewhat flat on the side while my penis head is shrunk at the middle not fully utilising the condom.

It’s definitely intact when I held up to see. These are fresh from an air-conditioned store.

First few days I was swallowed up with guilt and shame which magnified the anxiety. Now I’m better but still anxious about the situation.

Please tell me I’m overthinking!
Oh you are totally overthinking.

I'm not at all sure why you have such guilt and shame, but that's something you should work through with a therapist. You need coping skills other than overthinking and internet searches.

You are really overreacting to this. A mental health professional would help you so much.
Hi AJ,

Thanks for getting back so quickly.

I’m stuck in the “what-ifs” loop with the first condom which I’ve been advised numerous times that the condom did not break (and people are saying I’m imagining it did).

I guess the quick reaction from the sex worker asking to change the moment I pulled out also triggered the anxiety.

Was under influence of alcohol but not drunk (stopped for 3 hours) & was super aware during the entire thing - which explains the going limp part.

the guilt is because I tend to take things harder on myself (asking myself why did I do it & this is totally out of character).

Will definitely get tested just for the peace of mind.

Thanks again for your attention, your comments have helped ease me up a lot! Really appreciate your assistance.
What if loops are a sure sign of anxiety.

Also this - https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/dec/29/stop-catastrophising-expert-guide-psychologist

It would do you some real good to talk to someone.
Hi AJ,

Thanks for sharing that, it was a good read and exactly what I’m going through.

Anxiety level has been raised since the incident. Understand seeking professional help is the best way to go; but you’ve helped calm my anxiety a lot as well.

Just some last questions and I hope you can answer me to summarise the whole thing:

1. No symptoms on Day 21 — urination all ok, penis looks fine. safe to rule out STDs? My GP advised against checking few days back (week 2.5) as he said no symptom, don’t need to waste money.

2. First condom did not break — still in one piece with no flying bits. Sex worker changing condom when I was limp is a normal practice, she’s also doing it to protect herself. I’m guessing if it really broke, she’ll be the first to panic and would have stopped the entire thing rather than asking to change.  I am overreacting and “finding” problems.

Yes I will seek professional help once I’ve tested.

Thanks again.!
I feel you. I have bad anxiety also. I also had a GP I went to twice, both times asking him about std testing and both times said I don’t need it based on no visual symptoms on physical exams and nothing showing concern in standard blood and urine test. It did nothing to cure my anxiety and with the way I am it took a lot to get the courage to go to the doctor to begin with. So I have no answers for you, but just wanted you to know you are not alone with this type of struggle.
Hey man, thanks for sharing your story.

Anxiety is really a b*tch that just plays with our mind all the time. Like AJ would’ve advised, it’s just anxiety which does not equal risk. (Easier said than done!)

I think your GP will have to oblige to your request to test if you insist. But if your blood and urine test shows up clean, you’re pretty much in the clear!

I’m guessing it just need some time for the feelings to mellow out. I hope I have an answer for you too but I’m also getting through day by day till I can test.
Go back and re-read what I've said. My answers aren't going to change. You can keep asking the same questions in different ways, but that doesn't change the facts.

If your doctor isn't going to test you, and you'll wait until you test to get help for your anxiety, when exactly is it that you're going to get help?

What are you testing for? You have no need to test for anything. Call now and make a therapy appt.

1- Yes, because you had no real risk. If you had a risk, I'd advise you to test even without symptoms. You had no real risk and have no need to test. You have a better chance of getting struck by lightning in a year than getting an STD during a one-time, protected encounter.

2 - I agree.
Hi AJ

Thank you for the assurance and the advice. It has really help me go through the days feeling more confident. The guilt & anxiety do act up throughout the day.

For peace of my mind, I will test and it’ll be through a sexual clinic (not my usual GP). Waiting another 2 weeks for the window period.
I have no understanding of why therapy isn't part of that plan. Your username is "anxioustothemax", and clearly you are. No judgement, honestly, but you deserve to find peace with this.
Hey AJ,

For this 2 weeks, time is not permitting the consultation as I have a 2 week family trip. It’s also not something I can talk openly within the family.

I have plans to speak to therapist (+ STD screening) when I return for absolute peace of mind.

I have come to terms that I have no risk from the said encounter. If it really broke, the sex worker will be the first to freak out / ask questions rather than just asking me to change.

My anxiety revolves around her quick reaction where she asked to change immediately upon pulling out (imagine spilling milk on the dining table and your friends quickly asked you to wipe away).

I did try to recreate that scene by getting the exact condom but it’s very different from how I remembered. Furthermore, I had to really abuse it (pull it really hard) for it to break.

I know I’m not exactly doing the right thing to cope with my anxiety but I hope you can understand it’s what I can do now, given the situation.

Thanks again
Avatar universal
Anyone please?
Helpful - 0
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