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What would a doctor do?!
Hello Doctor. Let us suppose that YOU are in a room with a hot escort and about to have sex with her. It’s just a hypothetical scenario. No family or any other moral concerns are involved. You are her first client of the day, so it’s reasonable to assume that she hasn’t kissed (or blown) anyone since she washed her teeth in the morning. The fact that she blew 10 guys yesterday, doesn’t disgust you (it’s part of the hypothesis!). And now she wants to kiss you. Did I mention that she’s hot? Yeah, too damn hot!
Kissing her would magnify your pleasure, but on the other hand you want to stay healthy. You know you can’t have them both, so you ‘ve decided to make a compromise: if a sexual practice poses minimal risk of STD infection (say 1 in 1000 or less), you ‘ll always take it.
She may have oral herpes, oral HPV, syphilis, throat gonorrhea or throat chlamydia. Or nothing at all. You only know what you can see: an externally healthy mouth (no lesions). What would you do as a doctor?
A) French-kiss her
B) Kiss her with closed lips
C) Avoid the kiss. (In an effort to keep this a strict “logic VS heat of the moment” dilemma, let’s also suppose that you don’t care about her feelings. You can just slam a harsh “no” in her beautiful face.)
E.g.: I would be perfectly satisfied with an honest A, B or C answer, if there’s no time to elaborate.
Kissing her would magnify your pleasure, but on the other hand you want to stay healthy. You know you can’t have them both, so you ‘ve decided to make a compromise: if a sexual practice poses minimal risk of STD infection (say 1 in 1000 or less), you ‘ll always take it.
She may have oral herpes, oral HPV, syphilis, throat gonorrhea or throat chlamydia. Or nothing at all. You only know what you can see: an externally healthy mouth (no lesions). What would you do as a doctor?
A) French-kiss her
B) Kiss her with closed lips
C) Avoid the kiss. (In an effort to keep this a strict “logic VS heat of the moment” dilemma, let’s also suppose that you don’t care about her feelings. You can just slam a harsh “no” in her beautiful face.)
E.g.: I would be perfectly satisfied with an honest A, B or C answer, if there’s no time to elaborate.
COMMUNITY LEADER
So listen, I get it. I need numbers. I'm no engineer or anything, but I need to know what I'm facing, or someone I love is facing.
However, with STDs, it's almost impossible to know. There are so many variables even for kissing - how long did you kiss, were symptoms present, was it an open mouth kiss. With sex, even more so - was a condom used, how long did it last, how often are condoms used by both partners, age (different age groups have different risks for things, like chlamydia is far more common in younger people than older), gender of partners, your gender, etc.
I'm also no doctor, but I wouldn't worry about oral HPV. It's not that common, and there are more likely scenarios.
Oral herpes is one. Like GuitarRox stated, up to 80% of the population has it (it goes up as you get older). Without a sore present, I would kiss someone with it. I am quite sure that I have. If you've kissed more than a few people, I'm quite sure you have, too. If you want to know if you already have it, ask your doctor for a type specific IgG blood test.
Chlamydia, in theory, can live in the throat, but many experts swear they've never seen it.
I wouldn't worry about kissing and oral gonorrhea. If I were a man, and someone had oral gonorrhea, I'd refuse oral sex from that person, but kissing is fine.
If someone has a syphilis sore on/in their mouth, I would turn the kiss down. I don't care how hot he/she is. Syphilis isn't that common, either, so in the absence of sores, I wouldn't worry about it.
Kissing is overall pretty safe. You have a better chance of getting a cold, the flu, strep, mono/glandular fever, etc., than an STD from it. You'll be a lot sicker with some of those than you would be with most STDs.
However, with STDs, it's almost impossible to know. There are so many variables even for kissing - how long did you kiss, were symptoms present, was it an open mouth kiss. With sex, even more so - was a condom used, how long did it last, how often are condoms used by both partners, age (different age groups have different risks for things, like chlamydia is far more common in younger people than older), gender of partners, your gender, etc.
I'm also no doctor, but I wouldn't worry about oral HPV. It's not that common, and there are more likely scenarios.
Oral herpes is one. Like GuitarRox stated, up to 80% of the population has it (it goes up as you get older). Without a sore present, I would kiss someone with it. I am quite sure that I have. If you've kissed more than a few people, I'm quite sure you have, too. If you want to know if you already have it, ask your doctor for a type specific IgG blood test.
Chlamydia, in theory, can live in the throat, but many experts swear they've never seen it.
I wouldn't worry about kissing and oral gonorrhea. If I were a man, and someone had oral gonorrhea, I'd refuse oral sex from that person, but kissing is fine.
If someone has a syphilis sore on/in their mouth, I would turn the kiss down. I don't care how hot he/she is. Syphilis isn't that common, either, so in the absence of sores, I wouldn't worry about it.
Kissing is overall pretty safe. You have a better chance of getting a cold, the flu, strep, mono/glandular fever, etc., than an STD from it. You'll be a lot sicker with some of those than you would be with most STDs.
1 Comments
Thanks for taking the time to answer so thoroughly. Your answer was very helpful!
If you are worried about catching oral herpes, kiss women you know or run the risk. But 80 percent of the general population have herpes simplex one and many got it as children. If there are no visible lesions, there is only a small risk of transmission.
Doctors take a code of ethics that unfortunately the general public doesn't seem to try to live up to. Most successful men have a lot of women throw themselves at them and are used to saying no especially when they could lose their license to practice medicine over it.
Ask a relevant question on std's and we'll try to help.
Ask a relevant question on std's and we'll try to help.
3 Comments
Perhaps I’m a bit spoiled. I study electrical engineering and I’m used in getting definite and quantifiable answers to virtually any of my questions. Lately, I’ve found that the same doesn’t apply to my STD-related questions. There’s simply not enough public info to enable me to calculate the odds. “If an uninfected person’s mucous tissue comes in contact with an active HSV lesion, there’s a high risk of transmission/infection. If there are no active lesions, the risk is much much lower”. This means nothing to my ears. What is high and what is low? No one tells. Yet when you ask doctors directly about it, they seem capable to give you a numeric approximation.
For me and most people, the only way get peace of mind in regard to STD issues is percentages. Yes, even approximate. But then I had a brainstorm: If laying out the odds is too much hassle, then it would be just as informative to find out what a doctor, with all his experience and scientific knowledge, would do when put in a specific scenario.
I actually know what a (mediocre) doctor would say if I was to tell him that I've been with a hot escort and we kissed passionately.
“Relax there’s nothing to worry about. There’s no chance to get chlamydia. Catching gonorrhea or syphilis through kissing is only theoretically possible. Oral HPV is not common in women, and she would probably have to have active warts to transmit it. Oral HSV has 80% percent prevalence in general population, but the chance of infection is low when no lesions are present. Relax, pay me 50 dollars and go get some sleep. You need it.”
If the chances are so slim, would a doctor kiss the girl? Would he be relaxed? You see, it’s easier to give advice than to follow it yourself..
Concluding, I not only believe that it's a relevant STD question, but also a perfect one, in the sense that it can be answered in a flash and at the same time satisfy all interested parties.
ps. Sorry for possible bad english. Not my native tongue.
For me and most people, the only way get peace of mind in regard to STD issues is percentages. Yes, even approximate. But then I had a brainstorm: If laying out the odds is too much hassle, then it would be just as informative to find out what a doctor, with all his experience and scientific knowledge, would do when put in a specific scenario.
I actually know what a (mediocre) doctor would say if I was to tell him that I've been with a hot escort and we kissed passionately.
“Relax there’s nothing to worry about. There’s no chance to get chlamydia. Catching gonorrhea or syphilis through kissing is only theoretically possible. Oral HPV is not common in women, and she would probably have to have active warts to transmit it. Oral HSV has 80% percent prevalence in general population, but the chance of infection is low when no lesions are present. Relax, pay me 50 dollars and go get some sleep. You need it.”
If the chances are so slim, would a doctor kiss the girl? Would he be relaxed? You see, it’s easier to give advice than to follow it yourself..
Concluding, I not only believe that it's a relevant STD question, but also a perfect one, in the sense that it can be answered in a flash and at the same time satisfy all interested parties.
ps. Sorry for possible bad english. Not my native tongue.
Then ask your own doctor. But in general, you may not be getting answers because of the convoluted way you are asking the question. Too many words to ask what are my chances of getting oral herpes from kissing. The odds of getting herpes from someone with active shedding (visible sore or right before) is 75 to 85%. The odds of getting herpes from someone who doesn't have it is 0%. If you get oral herpes, not a big deal, MOST of the world's population has been exposed and has it.
I understand that my questions may seem convoluted, but this is only the product of my frustration (and perhaps my average english). I’ve been searching the internet for answers related to STDs for the past 10 days, and I’ve witnessed tens of direct questions (like “what are my chances to get oral herpes from kissing?”) getting answered with subjective terms like “low risk”, “medium risk” or even “not very(!!) common”.
Every now and then I would see a doctor trying to answer with numbers and I’d go “This is so much better. Why doesn’t every one do this?”. I mean, when a doctor uses the term “low risk”, this must surely correspond to some percentage that he/she’s read in some research paper, correct?
Anyway, having my frustration piled up, I came in here determined to make an indirect question (or convoluted) in the hope of getting a more straight answer than those I’ve seen before. It sounds unorthodox, but it’s really not if all you see for 10 days is direct questions getting answered indirectly! To be honest I didn’t expect to stumble upon a guy who wants direct questions (that’s you). But that happened, and thank you being here!
So I have one more question for you. Do you happen to know the chance of getting oral HPV from kissing a woman who has it but it’s in dormant state (no visible warts)? I know that oral HPV is relatively rare in women (about 3%), so the overall chance of getting it asymptomatically (and therefore with small viral load) would be something like 0.3%, but I’m still curious.
I would also be very interested to know your answer to my initial question (scenario). In one word, A, B or C?
Thanks for your time.
Every now and then I would see a doctor trying to answer with numbers and I’d go “This is so much better. Why doesn’t every one do this?”. I mean, when a doctor uses the term “low risk”, this must surely correspond to some percentage that he/she’s read in some research paper, correct?
Anyway, having my frustration piled up, I came in here determined to make an indirect question (or convoluted) in the hope of getting a more straight answer than those I’ve seen before. It sounds unorthodox, but it’s really not if all you see for 10 days is direct questions getting answered indirectly! To be honest I didn’t expect to stumble upon a guy who wants direct questions (that’s you). But that happened, and thank you being here!
So I have one more question for you. Do you happen to know the chance of getting oral HPV from kissing a woman who has it but it’s in dormant state (no visible warts)? I know that oral HPV is relatively rare in women (about 3%), so the overall chance of getting it asymptomatically (and therefore with small viral load) would be something like 0.3%, but I’m still curious.
I would also be very interested to know your answer to my initial question (scenario). In one word, A, B or C?
Thanks for your time.
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You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
