Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Mild irritation/redness on tip of penis

Hello,

I received some very distressing news from my little brother today who unfortunately does not have a computer. He has a smartphone and has looked into it but he's getting mixed answers. One says it's an STD, or that it's this type of STD or that type of STD, or that it may possibly not be an STD at all. I'm the genius in the family so of course, he contacted me. Stupid joke, shouldn't be making those right now.

My sexual experience is limited, I've only been with a few girls and I've always known them for at least 6 months to a year before I've ever had sex with them. I have to know someone and trust them and care for them a little bit, even if it's just a fling. Actually, they're all flings, no girl in her right mind would put up with my baggage and I'm not out trying to poison them with me. So I have to look to others...

My little brother, on the other hand, gets around. Problem is he has a second baby on the way and he's had sex with his girlfriend just before suspecting he might have contacted something from having sex with one girl on the side. Temptation got the best of him, I always caution against it but he never listens to me and now he's in a real pickle. It's not just that he cheated, it's that he may have contacted an STD and given it to both his girlfriend and soon to be born child. He has gotten a test but the results won't come back for a couple days. Seeing as how he's experiencing mild irritation on contact with underwear/jeans and redness on the outside on the tip of his penis but his girlfriend hasn't gotten any symptoms, with the exception of a cold sore (on her lips, not down below) which I don't know if it's even related or could be related, I'm thinking this is all just paranoid, psychosomatic and guilt driven paranoia, or at least I hope. He says before he started noticing this, which was about a few weeks ago, he had sex with his girlfriend and just kind of clumsily jammed it in, which I'm sure could be the cause. I'm hoping and praying it is because I love my family and don't want there to be a nasty break up resulting in my mother and I not being able to see his older son and newborn daughter as often as we're used to at this point.

I never really got an answer if she's performed oral sex on him before she got her "cold sore," which she says she hasn't gotten since she was in high school (5-6 years), but I was really prying and getting as many details, and making it known I needed those details to help determine what this could be. So I'm positive he would have said that he did have oral sex with her were that the case.

I know most people will say to themselves wow, what a scumbag, cheating on his pregnant girlfriend but he's my brother and I love him unconditionally. He's attempted suicide once without telling anyone about it, and though he's swearing he's not having those thoughts I can't help but worry he may do that should he have a STD, because that will mean he no longer can hide this dirty little secret and he will be obligated to tell her for both her's and the baby's safety since they might have whatever he has IF he has anything at all.

I'm sorry if this is too long, I just wanted everyone here to know the gravity of the situation. I have had anal sex with a girl once and she wanted it kind of rough, so we didn't use that much lube and I had the mild irritation and redness, but it seemed to go away after a week or two. A STD never even really crossed my mind at the time because the girl I was with was, at least to my knowledge, a lot like me in being careful in who she chooses to sleep with. I just figured it was an external injury and basically, it was. I never did the anal thing again because it's not really my cup of tea, I was trying to please her. I'm..boring in bed, basically. I remember him saying something about pus and a discharge, but when I asked him to give me every symptom, in detail so when I asked this question I wouldn't be leaving anything out, he didn't mention that again. So he might have been saying there WAS no discharge of pus, blood or whatever. Urination is fine, no burning or anything like that so here are the main symptoms I know for sure he is experiencing;

Mild redness on the outside of his urethra, on th tip of his penis (outside)
Mild irritation on contact with underwear/pants

And I don't think he has any unnatural discharge of pus or blood or anything, but let's just assume I'm wrong and he dies have that. Basically, I need two possible diagnoses, one without discharge and one with it.

And I know it's not a true diagnosis and he's already gone to a doctor and gotten tests done. I'm under no false assumptions that whatever you may think it is will be 100% correct. I understand you can't diagnose something from a computer, I'm just trying to keep him away from a bottle worrying himself. I guess I should note he's been hitting the hard stuff quite frequently lately and has dark urine because of it, so maybe that could be a factor?

He swears to be a good boy and will get off the vodka if the test comes back negative of STDs. Only time will tell if he means that. But he is actually happy in his relationship, has 2 beautiful kids and one on the way and as wrong as it may be, I feel this can remain a dirty little secret that never has to be revealed so long as there isn't an STD involved, at which point he will have to tell her immediately and face the consequences.

Please help. Again, apologies for the wall of text, I don't know how to write any other way. I'm a writer, after all. I could turn "does the sun rise in the East" into 5 paragraphs. That's my flaw, vanity.

Thanks ahead of time.
6 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Thank you SO MUCH. I REALLY appreciate it.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
How did this work out for him in the end?
101028 tn?1419603004
I wouldn't be thinking std based on what you posted.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you so much,

I've got some more info, for sure. There's no discharge of pus or blood, no painful irritation. and he DID have have oral  given to him before he had any suspicions. However, her cold sore is only 2 days old.

I'm worried that as soon as he gets a test back I won't hear from him again. That's why I want to give him some positive feedback so he doesn't drink himself into a coma.

Is any of this consistent with a STD? He said his doctor didn't seem too concerned but ran the test for safety's sake.

Please get back to me ASAP.
Helpful - 0
101028 tn?1419603004
We don't judge here. It's nice that you are trying to help your brother.

Monogamy isn't for everyone. What your brother does is his business and hopefully he's having protected encounters with his other partners. If he's under 30 and hasn't had his full gardasil hpv vaccine series, he should look into that too. If he has a history of mental health issues, he may be his own worst enemy with his behavior and encourage him to seek out professional help to deal with the stress and anxiety he is going through at this time.

If your brother needs help with his test results, he can come here on his phone and post them or the two of you could post them here together. Having you by his side will probably be quite helpful at this time.

Irritation can be due to many things - even the lil guy literally being rubbed the wrong way by clothing. Since he has other partners, it's best that he is seeking out full std testing just to protect his pregnant partner.  You can ask your brother if he'd even think twice about his symptoms if he hadn't had another partner recently. sometimes that helps put things in perspective.

grace
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
bump

Please
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
bump
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community

Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.