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Pain That Won't Go Away
I'm an otherwise healthy and circumcised 26 year old man. I got pressured into my first and only sexual encounter about five months ago, it was unprotected with someone from an app so it was incredibly dangerous. A few weeks later I started having a persistent pain in the tip of my penis. The first urine test came up negative for chlamydia and gonorrhea but positive for an unidentifiable bacteria. I was put on an antibiotic for three weeks, but the pain was still there. My second urine test came back normal and without white blood cells and I was put on alpha blockers for two weeks, the pain persisted. I was referred to a urologist who said that everything looked and felt normal and that this pain is psychosomatic from the guilt I feel over what I did. I think he might be right because I kept touching my self down there because I have anxiety over STDs right now, but was he right to come to this conclusion so soon?
COMMUNITY LEADER
What did you do in this sexual encounter? Did you do a handjob? Have oral sex? Vaginal sex? Anal sex?
When you tested the first time, how long after the encounter, did you test? What antibiotic did you take? Did they send the urine off to see what bacteria grew? There is no such thing as an unidentifiable bacteria.
On your second test, how long after you finished the antibiotics did you test?
Did the urologist check your prostate?
Remember that guilt does not equal risk.
When you tested the first time, how long after the encounter, did you test? What antibiotic did you take? Did they send the urine off to see what bacteria grew? There is no such thing as an unidentifiable bacteria.
On your second test, how long after you finished the antibiotics did you test?
Did the urologist check your prostate?
Remember that guilt does not equal risk.
17 Comments
Hand job, oral, and vaginal. The first test was two months and 16 days later. I don't remember what the antibiotic was called but they were white, I don't think they saw if the bacteria grew. My doctor told me that they didn't know what the bacteria was. The second test was about a week after the end of the antibiotics. The urologist didn't check my prostate, just my penis.
Okay, so if you can find out what the antibiotic was, that would be really helpful. I'm wondering if they just saw white blood cells in your urine and treated you for that, which is standard practice, but never sent your urine out for culture other than gonorrhea and chlamydia.
If all that is true, then you had a diagnosis of non-gonoccal urethritis, or NGU. This is when any bacteria other than gonorrhea enters your urethra and causes an infection. This can happen from oral sex, when normal mouth bacteria enters the urethra, or even if your partner had something like strep throat or even bronchitis.
Testing at 2.5 months means your tests were conclusive, and they were accurate.
Testing again at just a week after you've finished the antibiotics was too soon. You could have had false negatives. The antibiotics could have masked some lingering bacteria.
Is the tip of your penis red or inflamed? When you say it hurts, does it hurt when you pee, or does it just hurt all the time? Does anything else hurt or is anything else strange or different?
Is it possible that this is guilt and anxiety? I don't mean to minimize your symptoms - anxiety produces very real symptoms. You had your first sexual encounter and felt pressured into it - obviously, not the ideal situation. Men can react to this as much as women. Have you considered therapy for this? Aside from whether or not you have an infection, clearly this whole thing is bothering you, which is understandable.
If all that is true, then you had a diagnosis of non-gonoccal urethritis, or NGU. This is when any bacteria other than gonorrhea enters your urethra and causes an infection. This can happen from oral sex, when normal mouth bacteria enters the urethra, or even if your partner had something like strep throat or even bronchitis.
Testing at 2.5 months means your tests were conclusive, and they were accurate.
Testing again at just a week after you've finished the antibiotics was too soon. You could have had false negatives. The antibiotics could have masked some lingering bacteria.
Is the tip of your penis red or inflamed? When you say it hurts, does it hurt when you pee, or does it just hurt all the time? Does anything else hurt or is anything else strange or different?
Is it possible that this is guilt and anxiety? I don't mean to minimize your symptoms - anxiety produces very real symptoms. You had your first sexual encounter and felt pressured into it - obviously, not the ideal situation. Men can react to this as much as women. Have you considered therapy for this? Aside from whether or not you have an infection, clearly this whole thing is bothering you, which is understandable.
I got tested again, 4 1/2 weeks after the second test. My penis looks normal. The pain is localized to the tip, especially around the opening. I can feel it all the time but it is worse when I touch it. I think it very well could be the guilt, but I've rationalized the experience and I made an appointment to get tested for the STDs that I haven't been tested for.
What haven't you tested for? Don't let them test you for hep A or C, you don't need that. If you have been vaccinated for hep B, you don't need that, either.
No other STD would give you this symptom, but I understand the need to do it.
Pain in the tip of your penis can be a sign of a prostate infection, so just pay attention to that, okay? I don't know if that's what you have, or if it's anxiety. If it gets worse, or the tip of your penis gets red, or it starts to hurt when you pee or ejaculate, get your prostate checked.
And stop checking it and touching it. If you get symptoms, you'll know it. You don't need to do checks. STD symptoms aren't microscopic. Just look at the tip - look at it, don't touch it - once a day, and check your shaft once a day for anything new. You'll notice if there is. Leave the tip alone for a few days and see if that helps the pain.
No other STD would give you this symptom, but I understand the need to do it.
Pain in the tip of your penis can be a sign of a prostate infection, so just pay attention to that, okay? I don't know if that's what you have, or if it's anxiety. If it gets worse, or the tip of your penis gets red, or it starts to hurt when you pee or ejaculate, get your prostate checked.
And stop checking it and touching it. If you get symptoms, you'll know it. You don't need to do checks. STD symptoms aren't microscopic. Just look at the tip - look at it, don't touch it - once a day, and check your shaft once a day for anything new. You'll notice if there is. Leave the tip alone for a few days and see if that helps the pain.
I don't know what "rationalized the experience" means, but if it means discounting your feelings, don't do that. Just consider the therapy. Your feelings are valid and real.
I have only been tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea. I want to get tested for HIV and syphilis for sure. The pain is my only symptom. As far as rationalizing it, I know how I ended up in that situation and I can live with myself, I just need to know that I am safe from STDs.
I really, really don't want to seem like I'm lecturing you, but if you were female, I'd be saying these things, so I'm going to say them to you because it's not any different for men, okay? We all work things out in our heads so we are comfortable, but just know that whatever happened, no one has the right to pressure you into sex. We tell women all the time that if you are naked in bed with someone, you have the right to say no. Men have that same right. I will leave it at that.
HIV and syphilis are good to test for. Your chances of either are pretty low. I'd caution you not to test for herpes, as the hsv2 test has a lot of false positives, and it causes a lot of stress, takes a lot of time (weeks, maybe months) and costs into the hundreds to unravel. If you aren't in the US, it can be next to impossible to get the confirmatory testing you need. Since you don't have symptoms of herpes, I don't think you need to go through that.
The chances of you getting herpes from a one-time encounter are low enough that you don't need to test.
Let me know how it goes, and hang in there. :)
HIV and syphilis are good to test for. Your chances of either are pretty low. I'd caution you not to test for herpes, as the hsv2 test has a lot of false positives, and it causes a lot of stress, takes a lot of time (weeks, maybe months) and costs into the hundreds to unravel. If you aren't in the US, it can be next to impossible to get the confirmatory testing you need. Since you don't have symptoms of herpes, I don't think you need to go through that.
The chances of you getting herpes from a one-time encounter are low enough that you don't need to test.
Let me know how it goes, and hang in there. :)
The pressure was when she gave me her address and told me to drive over, that's when I had second thoughts and started coming up with excuses and then she started pressuring me instead of letting it go. By the time she told me it was okay if I didn't want to do it, the damage had been done. Anyway, thank you for all the advice, you have been very helpful.
If you decide to get the additional tests, let me know how it goes. :)
I've already decided to get tested, just couldn't get an appointment till next week. I also neglected to mention that the unprotected vaginal lasted for one hour, does that put me at higher risk?
Well, it's more risk than if you did it for a few seconds, but probably not any more risk than if you did it for 15 minutes. I mean, at that point, you've already been exposed to whatever she might have, right? Don't over think it.
Okay then, also I couldn't stop touching it so I have purchased an athletic protector.
If you can't stop touching it to the point you are buying an athletic protector, I think it's time to consider therapy. I say that with compassion, not criticism. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health.
I don't know your reasons for waiting until marriage - religious, STD prevention, or something else, and that isn't my business - but you're obviously having a hard time dealing with it, which is understandable. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you - you aren't weak or "crazy" if you need some help getting through this.
I don't know if anxiety is something you deal with outside of this situation, but there are treatments for it that can help.
I don't know your reasons for waiting until marriage - religious, STD prevention, or something else, and that isn't my business - but you're obviously having a hard time dealing with it, which is understandable. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you - you aren't weak or "crazy" if you need some help getting through this.
I don't know if anxiety is something you deal with outside of this situation, but there are treatments for it that can help.
I wasn't waiting till marriage, I was always interested in sex and now it is ruining my life. But I now see the error of my ways and I plan to live a life of celibacy from now on.
Oh I'm sorry - I assumed or got confused.
Your life isn't ruined. You don't have gonorrhea or chlamydia, the chances of you having HIV or syphilis is as close to zero as it gets.
Have you ever heard of catastrophic thinking?
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/dec/29/stop-catastrophising-expert-guide-psychologist
Please consider a therapist.
Your life isn't ruined. You don't have gonorrhea or chlamydia, the chances of you having HIV or syphilis is as close to zero as it gets.
Have you ever heard of catastrophic thinking?
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/dec/29/stop-catastrophising-expert-guide-psychologist
Please consider a therapist.
I tested negative for STDs and my blood is normal. This is definitely an urology issue now and it probably has nothing to do with me having sex.
I'm glad you are negative. Continue to work with your urologist to find out the cause. If it is prostatitis, one thing that a lot of men report that helps the most is eliminating caffeine. If it isn't prostatitis, eliminating caffeine isn't going to hurt you, so it might be something to try.
In any case, thanks for the update, and take care.
In any case, thanks for the update, and take care.
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You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
