Welcome to the forum.
Nobody should ever "feel terrible" because his wife develops an abnormal pap smear. It is virtually never possible to reliably judge the origin of any particular HPV infection. Assuming you and your wife were not virgins when you met, she, you, or both of you have had the HPV infection causing her abnormal pap smear before you ever first had sex. This is a much more likely explanation than your massage parlor experiences.
As for "affecting her health down the road", that's very unlikely. With proper management of the sort your wife is now having (colposcopy, perhaps with treatment of the affected tissues), almost no women develop invasive cancer. When all is said and done, if your wife follows her doctor's advice and follow-up schedule, her abnormal pap will be a relatively minor inconvenience in her life, not an important health threat.
HPV testing is normal with routine pap smears these days, so most likely your wife has already had a test for the virus. Whatever the result, it probably won't matter whether another test is done at the time of colposcopy, and the results probably won't make any difference in her treatment and follow-up.
I think those comments cover both your questions. The main point is that you needn't feel at all guilty about your happy ending massages. They have nothing to do with your wife's abnormal pap smear.
I hope this helps. Let me know if there is anything you don't understand.
Regards-- HHH, MD
And by the way, this shouldn't have any important effect on your wife's pregnancy or the health of the baby. Pregnancy is a common time for abnormal pap smears. Pregnancy is a state of immunodeficiency; the woman's immune system has to tolerate a large "foreign body" (the baby and placenta) for 9 months, and down-regulates the immune system. This can allow previously silent HPV infections to emerge.
Hi Dr. Thank you for your response.
So the abnormal pap could be for many things. And presumably the HPV test was already administered? Also, a previous exposure to hpv even a decade ago could show up now even though previous paps never showed anything?
Thank you kindly
Don't hang on to a forlorn hope that your wife doesn't have HPV, which is the only cause of an abnormal pap requiring colposcopy. Even if your wife's HPV test is negative, you can still be sure HPV is the cause. And yes: an abnormal pap can result from reactivation of an HPV infection acquired many years earlier. This happens al the time, and is far more likely than an infection from your massage parlor happy endings.