Welcome to the forum. I'll try to help. The bottom line is that your genital HSV-1 infection is unlikley to be transmitted to future partners and whitlow is not at all likely.
Genital herpes due to HSV-1 has very important differences compared with HSV-2. Most important, recurrent outbreaks and asymptomatic viral shedding both are less common; and therefore transmission of genital HSV-1 to sex partners appears to be much less frequent. Here are three threads that go into detail about these and other issues. You should find most of the information quite reassuring. Because those discussions answer some of your specific questions, my replies below are brief.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Recently-diagnosed-with-Genital-Herpes-HSV1/show/969931
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/HSV-1--devastated/show/1159077
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Asymptomatic-Shedding-hsv-1/show/1274603
Since your partner already has HSV-1 (he was the source of your infection, after all), he is immune to catching a new HSV-1 infection -- and certainly will not become infected, anywhere on his body, with the same strain of virus he already has. He will not get whitlow or genital herpes by contact with your genital area. Future, different partners could be at risk, but only if they have not previously had HSV-1. Even if not previously infected, the chances of either genital herpes or whitlow from you are low.
What my personal experience with patients is really not relevant. As it happens, I believe I have never seen a patient who acquired genital or oral HSV-1 from a partner with genital HSV-1 infection. Every case of HSV-1 I have ever seen came from a partner's oral infection. But that doesn't mean it can't happen; it can. But it's apparently quite uncommon.
As for whitlow, in 35 years in the STD business, I think I have seen only 2 patients with whitlow, and only a handful with eye infections. Whitlow occurs almost exclusively during the initial HSV infection, not in people with longstanding or recurrent herpes.
Finally, as for asymptomatic shedding: The tests used to detect it in research are very, very sensitive. They detect very minute amounts of HSV DNA, often at levels that are not likely to be easily transmitted. In other words, although it may be true that DNA can be detected 5-10% of the time, the proportion of the time the virus can be transmitted probably is very much lower than that. In any case, the partner who gave your your infection -- and any future partners who already have HSV-1 (as does half the US population) are not susceptible at all.
I hope this helps. Please read the other threads, then let me know if anything remains unclear.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD