I have similar feelings. i feel like im an antisocial, social person. im the type to stay in the shadows, but always around. i have come to realise that i dont fit in, n no one really knows me. n in all reality, no one can ever really know me, which kind of hurts sometimes. all of the things that stay hidden cuz they're not "normal" or whatnot. i thought i was normal. i thought everyone heard voices, n saw things, n felt things that werent there. i grew up thinking i was normal, just like everyone else. i just kept quiet, cuz i thought it was meant to be a secret. but the secret was that people would look at me oddly when i was young n giggling to myself in the corner. then they gave me medication, that medication made me like a zombie. now im off it all and living my life to the extent i can. im depressed, but i hide it, im bipolar, but i hide it, im schizophrenic, but i hide it. i just wish i could hide from the voices, n hide from the chaos that my mind makes me see. the manicness i witness, even if it is in my head.
sometimes...i just wish i could hide from myself.....
Wow, it sounds like you've worked really hard to hide your real self from others, and that medication hasn't worked so well for you. Great job posting here - please keep it up. I promise to be more active in this group. There wasn't much going on in the group for a long time, and now I am so grateful to see new postings.
I wish you peace,
Victoria