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Debate: is watching porn cheating?

I know everyone has their own opinions, I am curious what you guys think.  Is it ok to masturbate watching porn, or is that a form of betraying your significant other?  Or is it circumstancial, and up to the people in each individual relationship to decide together?
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10080829 tn?1407682946
What is a "satisfying" sex life? Can you expect another to "satisfy" your desires? I neither expect my partner to satisfy all of my needs, nor do I think I can satisfy hers.  Masturbation is a tool, not a sign of disrespect. And whether your method of excitation is a Playboy magazine, online porn, or a romance novel, it is not a substitute for a loving, understanding relationship.
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10080829 tn?1407682946
I don't think it's ever a matter of how beautiful you are. You could be Miss America and a man will, (I would) still want to think about other women. It is "think about" and not "act upon those thoughts" that we should be considering. I firmly believe that the male is NOT genetically programmed to be monogamous. In order to create families, we've created laws and norms that necessitate marriage and the monogamous relationship. Think about it. If he didn't want you, why would he be with you? I love my wife dearly, and would never hurt her intentionally, but to deny my animal instinct to procreate with other women, I masturbate. It is easier to please yourself than to please someone else.
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10080829 tn?1407682946
But in the end, you dumped him. He must have thought that your relationship was more than just sexual, if not, why would he be with you?
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10080829 tn?1407682946
What is the difference whether or not there are pictures involved? You're okay with him thinking about someone else, but not looking at a picture. I don't understand. What do you think he's thinking about without a picture?
Helpful - 0
10080829 tn?1407682946
If your relationship is primarily about sex, than I agree, you have a problem. Men, biologically want to spread the seed and can get aroused by a variety of women. It's not that he doesn't like having sex with you, but that he (we) are genetically programmed to be aroused by many different women. To make sure the species doesn't die, we can be (are) attracted by a wide variety. If there is more than sex there, and you should know by the way he treats you (is he kind to you, does he give you his time, his treasure, most of his inner thoughts), than you shouldn't be so insecure. Masturbation, for myself, is a way to keep physically faithful to the woman I love. If he knows that you dislike his habit, don't expect him to be forthcoming about it. It's hard for me to generalize, but for myself, I married my wife because we have the same goals in family, finance, and lifestyle. I am physically faithful to her, even though I have masturbated since I was old enough to realize that I could bring myself off at age 9. If you are looking for a guy who doesn't masturbate, you may have a long wait.
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Avatar universal
I think Porn is a very complicated issue.
Many married and single men will say it's normal and harmless.
I view it as not that harmless, when it is done in a way that married men hide to watch porn.
And is it really that healthy when it's watched together as a couple?
For me, if my husband needs to look at other women to masturbate when I am not around, and hiding it from me, that is not OK. Confident or not about my looks, it just doesn't seem OK to me. It's cowardly to me, morally disrespectful.
Which ever way you slice it, I can't look at it as healthy. Why would women have to deal with their husbands looking at other women and being ok with it? What's the point of marriage? Why choosing one woman if you have to still look at all of them? That sounds like torture to me. And that sounds like bringing a spouse into a shaky marriage and a lot of trouble down the road.
Some married men already can't help looking at other women when walking down the street, with or without being with their wives. And so wives should let their husband masturbate to other women online?
To me, looking at porn/ other women online is not wanting to admit you are not in your relationship 100%. it's not wanting to address what you need and maybe not addressing some issues in your life. It's looking for something that isn't there already... meaning there is something else you need!...
Why isn't anyone telling men that just because so many of them watch porn and hide it from their spouses, it doesn't make it OK?
Why are these men marrying anyone if they can't help looking at other women and masturbating to them?
Why can't they stay single and be honest with themselves and others?
I have not needed to masturbate to any other guy, in my marriage. I haven't needed to get emotionally involved with someone else either. I've put my mind to my family. The day I feel shaky about my sexual relationship, if ever, I'll tell my husband. I won't hide away and do other things just because I can.
Why are some of these men exempt from that?
Why is morality so flexible?
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