Erectile Dysfunction at 17?

[PleaseHelpMeLol]

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a while and we’ve been having intercourse without any problem, but for the last few months I’ve struggled to maintain an erection. It starts and then it kind of just goes away, it works on rare occasions but most of the time I get one, and just as  we’re about to get into it, it goes away. It seems to always be just as I put on the condom (usually it feels like it might be too tight but idk). I haven’t had this issue when it comes to h*and jobs and oral sex, and didn’t have it either the couple times where we tried putting it in raw. At this point its almost feels like just by thinking about it I get soft which doesn’t help because it makes me nervous before sex and seems to only make the problem worse. The whole situation just feels depressing.

I also would like to add that I smoke weed pretty often and that I have issues with my general nutrition (low iron, low vitamins)

If anyone has any solutions or advice it would be greatly appreciate:)

[Paxiled]

Lots to unpack.  First, stop smoking weed and see if it improves things.  I know that isn't easy to just do, as your social world probably all smoke, but if one is prone to anxiety weed can bring it out.  It intensifies experiences, which is why you like it, and you know, sex is just amazing on weed, but I can tell you from my own experience, once you learn from using it what that focus feels like, you can learn to tap into it without using it.  Takes some doing, but you can.  Meditation can help you with that.  So that's one experiment you can try.  Your problem is a common one that most men suffer at some points in their lives.  I had a problem when I was a couple years older than you are that lasted for several months.  it went away when I broke up with the woman I had the problem with, and I never had it again until I got old and got prostate surgery, so it was probably something about that young woman.  Who knows?  I would also give a second suggestion, which is going to be risky because of your young age, and can be even at an older age, but if both of you get tested for all STDs and come out negative, and she's willing to take the burden of the contraceptive such as a diaphragm to prevent pregnancy, ridding you of the condom issue, and the problem goes away, that also solves the problem.  But do know, at your age one of you or both of you is very likely to cheat on the other and that will bring in the STD possibility.  Almost no relationship at that age lasts forever.  So it is a risk not to use a condom, but with regular testing, it can be done, and if that's really the problem, it's something to think about but again, it is risky.  But I would tell you, weed today is a drug, not a plant.  When I was your age it was a plant.  It's very very strong, and your brain isn't yet fully developed.  Even with the plant, people including me got problems that came out because of it.  It's great when it's great, but not so good when it's not.  Which means, an experiment without it wouldn't hurt you any and might actually help.  I would counsel that it's something for fun times, and if you need to use it all the time or a lot of the time to enjoy yourself, it's no longer something fun to do, it's now self-medicating.  Peace.

[Paxiled]

Oh, and also, got any stress going on?  Extra exam pressure?  Illness in the family?  Some loss?  That can cause fatigue, and that can cause the issue.  Bad nutrition is bad body function.  When you're young, you usually are strong enough to not notice, but it catches you when you get old, so not a bad idea to start eating those veggies now.  Can avoid a lot of trouble later.  What I'm saying is, use this as a learning moment, you might as well, it's happening.  And yes, the more you start to worry over it, the more likely it is to happen, and weed can intensify that emotion, which is what I was saying.  But I will also say that although condoms are essential for your generation given the omnipresence nowadays of STDs, they really do affect sensation.  That can be partly good, as it can make you last longer, but it can be bad in that you might not be enjoying it much.  In my day, STDs were a lot less common, and we were mostly trying to avoid pregnancy.  To do that, you could use a lambskin condom that was quite thin and was what I used when I was with a woman who didn't take charge of that issue by taking the pill or using a diaphragm, which most of the women I've been with in my life did -- they didn't depend on the guy, they took charge of it.  But again, when I was young HIV wasn't there and when it was it wasn't in the completely heterosexual world I lived in.  That world is smaller now.  There are STDs now that are everywhere.  So those lambskin condoms don't do a good job of preventing those things, though they do prevent pregnancy.  

[auntiejessi]

If it's only happening when you put the condom on, and you think the condom feels too tight, maybe try a different kind of condom. They make them in different sizes, so maybe explore that.

This explains more about sizes - https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-condom-size-do-i-need-906651

Try them before having sex, in case you get one that's too big. You don't want one falling off in the middle of sex.