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Gender complexity

Hii,
I am little bit confused about my gender. I mean i am male but have boobs (not big like girls but curved) and i like to watch porn (we all do) but specially i like anal movies. may be this is cause but some time when i watch it even i want to get ****** in my ***. even some time i tried dildo also when i am too much exited.

I have read about symptoms of shemale but i have penis more that 4 inch so i don't think it is. but when i watch porn my sperm gets out too much early i mean in just 1 min without anything done.

Please give me some suggestion what is happening with me.
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134578 tn?1693250592
But it would be definitely helpful for you to talk to a therapist who deals with reactions to trauma, and reactions to sexual trauma, and reactions to being abused as a child.  That is a big load to carry around by yourself.  Your gender question would sort itself out if you were able to talk about the issues with a therapist who has heard such things before and knows what will help you clarify things in your head.
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Avatar universal
Thanks again.
No I am 22 yr old.
So after all this what you can say about my gender complexity.
Be straight and true b'z you are the first whom I am telling all this things in the world.

I little bit shy so I am not going to tell anyone else.
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1693250592
Every person is different, but if you have a caring girlfriend, she won't leave you over being victimized as a child.  It may, however, have left you with some sexual tastes she would not wish to indulge in, so there is no guarantee you would get just any girlfriend to indulge in this kind of sexual activity.  

I can't tell but you don't sound very old, are you a teenager now?  It might do you some good to find a counselor to discuss these things with, a therapist experienced in sexual matters and the reactions people have who have been raped.  I do not know if early associations between violence (or sex against your will) and the kind of sex act that happened with the violence, always stay in a person's life.  It's not that unusual for people who are victimized to find a way to accommodate to the victimization -- people who are captive and are raped sometimes do it, it is a way of coping.  You lived through a horrendous set of experiences, and you adjusted in this way.  A therapist can help you work through what happened and what it can mean in your life as an adult.
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Avatar universal
Thanks for everything you explained.
When I was 10 yr old I was abused by some boys so many times but at that time I was frighten by them so I never tell this things to any one. But after few times I started to like it.

And I want to ask you personally b'z you are women so, if I tell this things to my gf will she stay with me. Or she leaves me ?

What you do when you know some things like that.
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134578 tn?1693250592
Have you had a history of someone doing anal penetration to you at a very young age, such that you might have associated this with sex or with love?  It is not unusual to be bisexual, but it is a little unusual to want anal penetration from a girl.  Sometimes early experiences can be rather formative -- when it comes to what seems sexy later in life, it's like they imprint.

Anyway, keep in mind that no matter what sexual acts people care for, they can probably find a partner to do them, and as long as nobody is being hurt or coerced, in other words everyone is an adult and doing what they want, you'll probably be able to develop a happy sex life and find someone to love.
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Avatar universal
Hi
Thanks for above clarification but this is the first time I am telling this things to some one so may be I am not good at clarification.
As you have asked about feeling I like girls not boys. But in sex I want to do with both.
Even I want girl **** me.

Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1693250592
You might be able to tell whether you are gay or straight or somewhere in between by what kind of porn fires you up, although if you are rather young, pretty much any porn will fire you up, since it is designed to do that and sex is so new that anything sexy is sexy.

A more accurate way to judge might be by considering who you feel love for (emotionally) and would fantasize being with in a long-term love affair.  Gay men would feel this way about males, straight men would feel this about females, bisexual men might fantasize about either sex in this emotional way.  Who do you get crushes on?  Who do you lie awake thinking of in an emotional or sexual way?  That's how you tell.
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