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Husband shows no interest in me anymore...

We have been married for 13 years, but just within the past year my husband started having problems with keeping himself erect or ejaculating too soon.  It got to the point where he was always apologizes after sex, which pretty much ruined the intimacy before it.  I kept telling him that it didn't matter, and I was fine, but he insisted I was lying and it seemed to devastate him. So I tried to make him see that I was still enjoying myself.  Now he shows no interest in me at all.  I don't get kisses or hugs EVER, and he rolls right over in bed.   When I asked him if he still loved me, he told me that he didn't expect life to be this much of a struggle and then he started in on things about me that he doesn't like.  I felt worse than ever. I asked him how I could fix the things he didn't like and he said he didn't know.

I am really frustrated, both emotionally and sexually. I don't understand why my husband doesn't want me anymore and I feel like he's making excuses or starting fights so he doesn't have to be intimate with me.  We had talked about him going to the doctor for ED, but I think he is really embarrassed since he's not even 40 yet.  He still hasn't discussed it with anyone.

Another thing that is a problem is that I am not even sure if he isn't cheating. He has cheated in the past and never really earned my trust back because I caught him in lies after the fact. He gets angry because I don't trust him and says that he is tired of being blamed for something he isn't doing.

I am not sure what to do, where to go or how to fix this.  At this point I just feel like we are roomies and that's it.

Any advice? Thanks.
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80052 tn?1550343332
is this a same sex marriage? (your profile says you are male)  Problem is is that some guys just loose interest, life and family worries get in the way, even if there is a supportive spouse, it can't change the facts that their may not be enough money to do any of the things that the man originally dreamed of when you first met, or maybe his job is now just not satisfying anymore or may be just a dead end - I've been down that road, and it is very very difficult to get off - he still loves you, circumstances will change (or his perception of them will) and things will get better!  :-)  You just have to believe that!  my 2cents
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1279364 tn?1280682588
Erection problems & premature ejaculation cannot be easy for him to cope with. He may be trying to blame you for his "lack" instead of facing it. You said he has yet to see a doctor. It can be demoralizing to have such a problem. This is his manhood we are talking about. For better or worse, a man's vitality is often based on his sexual performance. He sounds like a really stressed out guy. Stress can cause the sexual problems he is having. Try & get him to see a doctor, but don't force it either. If nothing else there are some serious health issues such as high blood pressure & cholesterol that can lead to more permanent ED. Make your concerns to him general instead of sexual.

Try & drop some sexy hints. Instead of directly coming on to him wear something sexy & pretend that it's just coincidence. If he responds well to that ramp it up by cooking him a meal with only an apron on. Leave some uber sexy lingerie on his pillow or even leave a card with a sexy girl on the front & just say you are thinking of him. Let him come to you. If he does maybe you can give him a bit of a show by pleasuring yourself first (if you two are comfortable with that) so that any early ejaculation doesn't make him feel like he is failing you. Take your sexual frustration in your own hands to ease of the pressure on him to satify both of you.

The cheating thing is rough ground, but I have known couples where it doesn't happen again. Be careful you do not drive him away with suspicion. He may be innocent & at some point you have to allow yourself to trust him again. A marriage without trust isn't a very healthy one in my opinion. I have seen that suspicion drive people to cheating when it normally wouldn't have happened. If you are going to be in trouble for it anyways... Then again, if he is cheating you need to decide whether you continue to live with that.
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Avatar universal
I would try one last time before you give up on him. Also you need to make sure he is not cheating again and just trying to find a way out. Men are only concerned about the outter beauty sometimes. Did you gain any weight? Is your sex life routine and boring? If so try something new position or do a strip tease. Maybe you just need to light the flame back in your marriage. I hope this helps hun I wish you the best 13 years is a long time to be married and just throw it away with out giving it all you got.
Helpful - 0
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