I Feel like I'm being Replaced by her Vibrator

[okieone]

My wife and I have been married for 25 yrs., she is 50 and I'm 46. She has already gone through menopause and went through the lack of desire for almost 5 yrs. Last fall she went on bio-identical hormones in the form of a pellet injected into her hip every 3 to 4 months, her desire was great during this period but she has stopped getting them claiming we can't afford them. My question is there are lot of times when she will reject me for sex and use her vibrator(back messager) instead. The reasons I know she is doing this is because I know where she hides it and she will often send me to run errands in order to get her time alone. I have never had a problem with her masturbating because I do it too and it is a great stress reliever but I have never rejected her for masturbating. I prefer the real thing.

One thing that I don't understand is that during the 5 yrs. of lack of desire we might have had sex 4 times a year and she was still using her vibrator but not as often. Do women still masturbate when they have a lack of desire?

When we do have sex I have always taken great pride in her pleasures through giving her oral sex. I don't think sex is the problem. I have made suggestion to her to use her vibrator during foreplay or even after play to enhance our sex life, but she refuses.

I have read that masturbation over partnered sex is not healthy to relationships. What is the best way to approch this subject with out rocking boat? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[okieone]

That is a cleaver idea sam but the only problem is she would fix it her self, she's good at fixing things like that, besides it's the plug in kind.

I agree, rekindling the romance does need to be worked on. Just think what it would be like if women where able to get in the mood as quickly as men.....Hmmmm....then again that would take the challenge out of it.

I never thought of her feeling undesirable, I will pay more attention to that.

Thank you all

[barefootand]

Posibley she feels undesirable. Try talking it out. Being younger she might feel that you will get a younger woman to take her place and is preparing herself for rejection.
This may be sub concious. Try a bit of romance not just sex.

[mjbrown]

You are right. There is no problem with masturbation - unless it starts interfering with your relationship. I wouldn't desolder her vibrator... though that is a clever idea SeriousSam :-) But the two of you need to talk open and honestly about what is going on and how you feel about it. After 25 years of marriage, the two of you might need to work on rekindling some of the romance. If you don't feel like the two of you can talk openly with each other.. couples counseling is a good idea.

All the best..

[SeriousSam]

Steal the batterries and or try the vibrating penis rings with her! Lol.

probably not a good idea but I would at least desolder the connection for the batteries @ least.

You guys need to talk about what makes her and you happy.  Maybe therapy maybe just honest conversation.