I'm getting bored with my lower parts

[noelaniquestion]

Hello, I'm new on this forum. I come just to know if someone can guidance me.
I'm starting to get bored when I'm having sex or I'm masturbating myself. I found my vagina more boring than before, even thinking that having a penis would be funnier. I tried to think about positive things of having a vagina when you are having sex (and solo-sex) but I can't find them. Everything I think about, you can do it having a penis as well.
I tried several toys as well, and still getting more. I'm not a very sexual person, but I'm not asexual for sure. I don't really want to get bored of my sexuality. I told that to my girlfriend, and she couldn't find anything, that's why I'm comming here

I really hope that you can help me, or at least giving me another point of view or anything

[auntiejessi]

I'm not sure if this is a natural low in the highs and lows of a sex life, or if something deeper is going on. That's really for you to determine.

There are definitely times I've felt more sexual than others, and times when I've felt like my vagina was just another boring part of my body. I don't remember ever thinking a penis would be better, but we're all different.

Plus, we get periods and mood swings and the like.

However, we also get the possibility of multiple orgasms, and no inconvenient erections. I don't know if it's more fun to have a penis - I've never had one, so I can't compare.

If this goes deeper than just musings, then you have a great resource with your partner, or you could talk to a therapist. I don't know if it's as deep as some body dysmorphia, or gender dysmorphia, or just a natural flow in  life.

Maybe get some hormone levels checked if you think your sex drive is too low, or if you are on any medications, that might be the culprit. Or maybe you and your partner can just have fun figuring out the ways for you to appreciate your vagina. :)

[Paxiled]

You may be bored with yourself, not all sex.  Do you have partners?  Now, if you think you want to be a guy, that's a different issue.  That can either be a grass is always greener on the other side issue or a trans issue, and you'd know better than me if either of these sounds right.  Being a man is a lot more than just having a penis and being a woman is a lot more than a vagina.  But my guess is, you're either not with someone you really like and really turns you on and if you're not a very sexual person, it may be that's what you're going to need to make it work for you.  On the other hand, if you're masturbating a lot and to the point of using toys, that sounds like a pretty sexual person.  Why don't you try not masturbating for awhile and focus more on getting into a relationship that arouses you.  

[BonzoDog]

Good advice, Paxiled. I do have one Q for noelaniquestion - how old are you?  Some younger females don't have strong sexual urges or enjoy sex or masturbation much until they hit their late 20s, mid-30s or sometimes even later. If you're still quite young, you may not have discovered what you really like yet, what things turn you on, etc. Also, unfortunately, some women & young girls were raised with negative attitudes about sex & masturbation, such as "Good girls don't do that', and it can take years to overcome such negative messages. Tell us a little more about yourself - age, your upbringing regarding sex, at what age you became sexually active (either sex or masturbation, or both) - maybe some add'l info will help us figure out what's going on with you...

[noelaniquestion]

I'm 25 y/o and my partner is a trans girl. I'm pretty sure that I don't want to be a guy, just I think that having a penis would be more fun. Maybe is because I'm more active/dominant in bed, but as I said, I found that everything that I can do with a vagina I can do it with a penis or even more. I'm not very sexual but I like trying new things. And BonzoDog, I didn't have those issues about negative messages, at least not related to sex.
I started to masturbate and having sex like 6 years ago, but my last partner were veeeery boring at bed, so right now with my actual partner I'm happier, but as I say I would like to find more things to play with or having fun.

And thank you for your answers

[Paxiled]

You know, people are very different when it comes to sex.  Most humans enjoy sex more when they are in love or at least have a strong mental component to their sex lives.  Others are more into the physical experience and not so much into other humans relationship wise.  Many people aren't all that into sex at all and only do it because they like their partner and their partner likes it.  A boring partner who isn't very good or interested in sex can be incredibly stimulating if you love that person a lot.  In your case, you seem to be interested in the experimentation and doing different things than you are into the person you're with.  Which is fine.  That will probably change at some point, but it's where you're at now.  Do be aware that using aids and the like can make you only like sex that way, and then you're stuck with a much smaller pool of potential people to love because it's harder to find someone who shares your way of doing sex than it is to adapt to new people because you really like them.  I'd ask, do you get bored easily with the rest of the things you do as well?  You may just be an adventurous person and that's who you are and that will apply to sex as well.  At some point, you have to decide what it is you want from life -- the temporary high of a good orgasm or the lasting high of being with someone you love being with, because the two things seldom intersect in real life.  But for now, if you've only been having sex for 6 years, you're still young, and when you're young who knows what we really want?  What I can tell you is, being a guy isn't just having a penis, and having a penis can be a pain just as having a vagina can be a pain.  That's the grass is always greener story, where guys think women have it easier and better and vice versa when in fact being human is what's hard and it's hard for everyone and every sex at some points in our lives.  By the way, just so you know, having a vagina if you're into sex and know what you're doing is actually a lot different.  For example, while men orgasm really hard if they're able to delay it, women can orgasm over and over and over again, so in actuality, a vagina can do things a penis can't do.  Peace.

[BonzoDog]

Thx for that add’l info. At 25, you’re still pretty young, as I said, many women don’t hit their sexual peak till their 30s or later, so you may still find the switch gets flipped ‘ON’ at some point!

You have stated you’re not a real sexual person & that’s OK - ppl vary quite a bit as far as how much they think about sex or how much they enjoy it. Sometimes I think we’re exposed to so much sexual content in TV shows, movies, etc., that we think our own sex life is boring by comparison. For example, many sex scenes depicted show two ppl tearing each others’ clothes off & then immediately having passionate sex - I don’t think that’s a realistic scenario for most ppl - and most women need a little time to get ‘warmed up’, so again, this isn’t very realistic. I’m sure it does happen, but based on what’s shown, we may start thinking that’s the norm & if our own sex life isn’t living up to this unrealistic depiction, we’ll feel smthg is seriously lacking, but that’s not so. In my own experience, the best sex was when I felt really connected w/ my GF or wife. So focus on the relationship, feeling what each other is feeling - that leads to a closeness that will make the experience more rewarding…

Auntiejessi has given some good advice - if this continues & you feel like it’s affecting other things in your life, you might wanna think about some type of counseling. I think it’s a good sign you’re self-aware & it doesn’t seem as if you have big hang-ups about sex, so that’s a good place to be starting from.

Best wishes & let us know how you’re doing…

[Paxiled]

Just to comment on the above, I've always wondered why in the movies and TV they always show the guy lifting the woman up and doing it that way or doing it on a hard kitchen table.  You know, we all try that sort of thing, but a hard surface really hurts after a while, and women get heavy really fast and there's nothing that kills a buzz more than having to focus on not dropping someone.  I always wondered where that idea of sex comes from.