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Is my boyfriend bi or gay
I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. This past summer I found out that he's into trannies. I found a lot of tranny porn on his phone and also found out that he likes to go on craigslist to talk to other men and exchange pics. I've seen on numerous emails that he even sets up dates to meet but then when the guy actually wants to meet then my boyfriend just doesn't respond anymore. So I know that he hasn't actually met anyone... Yet.
I've confronted him about it. I told him that I wouldn't judge him if he were gay or bi and that if he rally wanted to try it that I would be OK with it as long as I know about it but he always says,"absolutely not."
He tells me that he's not gay and that he never had any intentions of meeting a man. He says that him watching tranny porn and exchanging pics with men just excites him but that's the extent of his fantasy.
It worries me because I feel like one day he will get tempted into it and do it behind my back. He barely watches any other type of porn besides shemale. It's got me feeling like crap now because I wonder if he's even attracted to me. To me if you barely watch any porn with women in it and only men then it makes me really feel like he's gay or bi and maybe just too scared to say anything. Are there any straight men that can answer this question that might be into this sort of thing? I know a lot of females watch lesbian porn but would never get with a woman, myself included but I like porn with men in them also. He's gone from porn with women in them to now only shemales. Also for the women out there that are going through the same thing can you please give me some advice. I love him and I don't want to end my relationship but it's really bothering me.
I've confronted him about it. I told him that I wouldn't judge him if he were gay or bi and that if he rally wanted to try it that I would be OK with it as long as I know about it but he always says,"absolutely not."
He tells me that he's not gay and that he never had any intentions of meeting a man. He says that him watching tranny porn and exchanging pics with men just excites him but that's the extent of his fantasy.
It worries me because I feel like one day he will get tempted into it and do it behind my back. He barely watches any other type of porn besides shemale. It's got me feeling like crap now because I wonder if he's even attracted to me. To me if you barely watch any porn with women in it and only men then it makes me really feel like he's gay or bi and maybe just too scared to say anything. Are there any straight men that can answer this question that might be into this sort of thing? I know a lot of females watch lesbian porn but would never get with a woman, myself included but I like porn with men in them also. He's gone from porn with women in them to now only shemales. Also for the women out there that are going through the same thing can you please give me some advice. I love him and I don't want to end my relationship but it's really bothering me.
Well, good luck to you. The fact that he hasn't told you suggests to me that he just doesn't have an answer for you. I would not brand that "lying." But that doesn't mean I'm suggesting you stay, it sounds like you are ready to go.
Well, all I can suggest is that if the kind of porn he likes involves someone dressed like a man having sex with someone dressed like a woman, he probably does not identify with the part about having sex with a man as much as he identifies with having sex with someone who is as simple about sex as a man is (see to get horny, horny to have sex, done and gone). Women are very complicated, to men. Men like their sex fast and easy, women want to talk about feelings. Maybe he likes the idea of meeting someone who is female on the surface (for attractiveness' sake) but as simple as a man is about sex, underneath. It sounds like you are making things complicated by asking for explanations. He probably doesn't know himself just why he is attracted this way.
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Well the only reason I'm asking him questions is because I feel like he's trying to hide what he really is. I feel like he's bi and I just don't understand why he would have to hide that from me when I've told him I'm OK with it and would actually like to get involved with it and have some fun.
As far as me wanting to talk about feelings I'm not that you're of person. I've actually been told that I'm more like a guy than a girl. I love to have sex as much as I can get, I'm not the type to want to cuddle and talk about feelings afterwards. I love shooting guns and playing video games and watching sports.
He's the one that likes to cuddle and talk about feelings (more like he wants to know my feelings he doesn't talk to much about his) and he's the one that showers me with affection and always wanted to kiss me and hold my hand and be close to me. I do these things because I know he loves it but if he didn't do these things I would be absolutely fine.
Our relationship is almost perfect except for this one thing... Him talking to other men and watching tranny/gay porn. If it wouldn't be for that then I wouldn't complain about anything. I just don't understand why he feels he has to go behind my back and do it. It hurts me when I see that he's talking to other men being my back and lying to my face about it.
On Facebook, he shows a different side to him. He likes all kinds of pages with nude women. I feel that that is for show because of his family. I can feel myself pulling away from him little by little because this is bothering me so much. If he can't be honest with me and open up to me then maybe I should just leave him. I just really hate liars and he knows this and he still lies to me. I guess I have my answer now.
Thanks for commenting and giving me advice. I really appreciate it. It's sad that this will have to end because he is such a great guy and he does treat me great but I just can't take the lying. Have a good night.
As far as me wanting to talk about feelings I'm not that you're of person. I've actually been told that I'm more like a guy than a girl. I love to have sex as much as I can get, I'm not the type to want to cuddle and talk about feelings afterwards. I love shooting guns and playing video games and watching sports.
He's the one that likes to cuddle and talk about feelings (more like he wants to know my feelings he doesn't talk to much about his) and he's the one that showers me with affection and always wanted to kiss me and hold my hand and be close to me. I do these things because I know he loves it but if he didn't do these things I would be absolutely fine.
Our relationship is almost perfect except for this one thing... Him talking to other men and watching tranny/gay porn. If it wouldn't be for that then I wouldn't complain about anything. I just don't understand why he feels he has to go behind my back and do it. It hurts me when I see that he's talking to other men being my back and lying to my face about it.
On Facebook, he shows a different side to him. He likes all kinds of pages with nude women. I feel that that is for show because of his family. I can feel myself pulling away from him little by little because this is bothering me so much. If he can't be honest with me and open up to me then maybe I should just leave him. I just really hate liars and he knows this and he still lies to me. I guess I have my answer now.
Thanks for commenting and giving me advice. I really appreciate it. It's sad that this will have to end because he is such a great guy and he does treat me great but I just can't take the lying. Have a good night.
Nothing has really changed in our sex life. We have great sex pretty much every night. I do different things to keep it spicy. I don't like vanilla sex. I've worn a strap on for him, I do *** play, I let him do whatever he wants to me. I'm definitely not scared to take risks at all.
Thing is, when I put a strap on, I try to have seed with him nice and slow but he looks so uncomfortable. That part is not fun for me at all. He doesn't get into it at all. I would think that he would being that he likes tranny porn. When I finger his ***, it's the same thing. He gets uncomfortable. So I begin thinking that maybe if it were with a guy he would really enjoy it and because I'm not a guy that's why he's so uncomfortable. I've tried talking about this to him but he kind of shuts down.
I've also offered for both of us to find a bi guy and we can both be with the guy. I've already done that before with an ex boyfriend which was really fun. He says no that he doesn't want to get with s man.
I thought maybe he just didn't want to get with a man while I'm there because that would make him uncomfortable so I offered to let him go be with a man all by himself as long as I know about it and he doesn't go behind my back. He still says no. So I'm having trouble understanding this. If he likes to talk to men about hooking up and enjoys watching tranny porn and gay porn then why watch and talk to these men? It just make me feel like I'm not enough for him. I try to talk to him about this but he either gets mad or he just doesn't want to talk about it. He's 33 and I'm 39. You would think that he would be a lot more comfortable with himself than he is.
I know when I was really young I was very uncomfortable and had trouble telling men what I wanted. But I've matured and I know what I like and don't like. I'm just trying to get him to be honest and comfortable with himself. I know he likes men, why can't he just admit it?
Thing is, when I put a strap on, I try to have seed with him nice and slow but he looks so uncomfortable. That part is not fun for me at all. He doesn't get into it at all. I would think that he would being that he likes tranny porn. When I finger his ***, it's the same thing. He gets uncomfortable. So I begin thinking that maybe if it were with a guy he would really enjoy it and because I'm not a guy that's why he's so uncomfortable. I've tried talking about this to him but he kind of shuts down.
I've also offered for both of us to find a bi guy and we can both be with the guy. I've already done that before with an ex boyfriend which was really fun. He says no that he doesn't want to get with s man.
I thought maybe he just didn't want to get with a man while I'm there because that would make him uncomfortable so I offered to let him go be with a man all by himself as long as I know about it and he doesn't go behind my back. He still says no. So I'm having trouble understanding this. If he likes to talk to men about hooking up and enjoys watching tranny porn and gay porn then why watch and talk to these men? It just make me feel like I'm not enough for him. I try to talk to him about this but he either gets mad or he just doesn't want to talk about it. He's 33 and I'm 39. You would think that he would be a lot more comfortable with himself than he is.
I know when I was really young I was very uncomfortable and had trouble telling men what I wanted. But I've matured and I know what I like and don't like. I'm just trying to get him to be honest and comfortable with himself. I know he likes men, why can't he just admit it?
I don't know enough about transvestite porn to know if the sex it depicts is a straight man (i.e., dressed like a man) having sex with a transvestite (because, of course, transvestites identify as women when dressed as women at least) or if it depicts two transvestites having sex with each other. If the first, he might just be fantasizing himself as the straight guy having sex with someone who looks like a transvestite looks when dressed up. If this were my boyfriend and this was his fantasy, in trying to figure out what is going on in his mind, I would think it is partly because he finds men easier to deal with than women, but still wants the person he fantasizes about to look like a woman. Just a guess.
If he is not acting out, but is just watching that kind of porn, I'd then just see if anything has changed in our sex life. If he no longer wants to have sex, that's also a clue. But if nothing has changed, I'd just go along as normal until other indications show that things are changing..
If he is not acting out, but is just watching that kind of porn, I'd then just see if anything has changed in our sex life. If he no longer wants to have sex, that's also a clue. But if nothing has changed, I'd just go along as normal until other indications show that things are changing..
COMMUNITY LEADER
As a rule normal sex is more satisfying than any other types of sex. Man./woman goes for other types of sex just for curiocity. and then they get stuck mostly because of peer's pressure..... If you can provide him natural sex, I am sure he will revert back to normal. So try to find out the ways and means to have a satisfactory sex by learning better way to do sex. You will find many websites or books on these subjects. Sometimes just a little technique may do wonders.Just for example, if both of you know kegel exercises, and do it alternatively during intercourse, you will have different types of sensation. During his kegel, his penis move vertically, gibing you different sensations and when you kegel him, his penis is pressed much differently.. So creating an atmosphere of novel methods may change your relationship for better. Think and apply your imagination.
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