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Multiple Problems! Please Help Us!
Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year and a half. In the beginning of our relationship there was a lot of sexual attraction and desire on both of our parts. We had known each other for a year and a half before starting to date, we work with eachother on the weekends bartending. My boyfriend has no problems functioning sexually, I on the other hand have multiple problems, some which have arose over the last year and other which have been going on for longer.
My problems include never having experienced an orgasm... Lack of any libido what so ever over the last year... and very VERY painful soreness and inflamation after sex (this is not always the case but happens 8 out of 10 times).
A little bit about us...
I am 21 and my boyfriend is 27, we are very much in love with eachother and plan on being together forever, no questions about that or faithfulness, we are both extremely faithful to one another!
I have had problems with depression for all of my life for as far back as I can remember, extreme anxiety and depression... however this never created a problem with lack of sexual desire until I started taking Prozac (an antidepressant) about 4-5 months into our relationship - This is when I REALLY saw the decline in libido! However I stoped taking the antidepressants for 5 months or so and was only on Prozac for a few months, them Celexa and then wellbutrin ( I kept switching because of the lack of libido - was trying to find one that would have less of an affect on the libido).
Due to years of depression I also used to drink A LOT in high school and college (more than the average college student - I actually had alcoholism and needed a lot of work with couslers and even attended an AA program that my brother was involed in - This depression and alcholoism runs in the family)
I mention my past and present physical and mental heath because I know this may have an affect on what is going on.
The big problems we are experiencing are my lack of any libido, and my pain I get after having sex (which makes me afraid to have sex). The pain burns and stings and I feel like I have tiny cuts on the inside and outside of the vagina and I also get swollen, very red and puffy and this lasts for several hours, usually 5 or 6 and evern after 10 hours I still an sensative to the touch, like when I go to the bathroom.
We use a water based lube to help with the friction since I dont get very wet, this helps me alot (I still get sore when I use it but the act of sex doesnt actually hurt like it would if I were dry).
The problem we face right now though is that with lube, my boyfriend becomes less sesitive and does not enjoy sex, he cannot finish or have an orgasm because it is like a slip and slide of him (even with just enough lube to make it comfortable for me).
Tingle lubes and warming and sensitizing lubes however bother me... I am really really sensitive down there.
Please help! Does anyone experience any of these problems and if so have you figured out a way to fix the problem or at least a temporary fix.
I did have a biopsy done 2 years ago for what my gyno said could be cancer, she did this because I showed possitive for HPV, other than this both of us are clean and have NO STDS.
Please help me, I really hate having to always either decline my boyfriend of sex or have sex to please him and then be in pain all day or use lube and have it be useless for either of us to have sex!
My problems include never having experienced an orgasm... Lack of any libido what so ever over the last year... and very VERY painful soreness and inflamation after sex (this is not always the case but happens 8 out of 10 times).
A little bit about us...
I am 21 and my boyfriend is 27, we are very much in love with eachother and plan on being together forever, no questions about that or faithfulness, we are both extremely faithful to one another!
I have had problems with depression for all of my life for as far back as I can remember, extreme anxiety and depression... however this never created a problem with lack of sexual desire until I started taking Prozac (an antidepressant) about 4-5 months into our relationship - This is when I REALLY saw the decline in libido! However I stoped taking the antidepressants for 5 months or so and was only on Prozac for a few months, them Celexa and then wellbutrin ( I kept switching because of the lack of libido - was trying to find one that would have less of an affect on the libido).
Due to years of depression I also used to drink A LOT in high school and college (more than the average college student - I actually had alcoholism and needed a lot of work with couslers and even attended an AA program that my brother was involed in - This depression and alcholoism runs in the family)
I mention my past and present physical and mental heath because I know this may have an affect on what is going on.
The big problems we are experiencing are my lack of any libido, and my pain I get after having sex (which makes me afraid to have sex). The pain burns and stings and I feel like I have tiny cuts on the inside and outside of the vagina and I also get swollen, very red and puffy and this lasts for several hours, usually 5 or 6 and evern after 10 hours I still an sensative to the touch, like when I go to the bathroom.
We use a water based lube to help with the friction since I dont get very wet, this helps me alot (I still get sore when I use it but the act of sex doesnt actually hurt like it would if I were dry).
The problem we face right now though is that with lube, my boyfriend becomes less sesitive and does not enjoy sex, he cannot finish or have an orgasm because it is like a slip and slide of him (even with just enough lube to make it comfortable for me).
Tingle lubes and warming and sensitizing lubes however bother me... I am really really sensitive down there.
Please help! Does anyone experience any of these problems and if so have you figured out a way to fix the problem or at least a temporary fix.
I did have a biopsy done 2 years ago for what my gyno said could be cancer, she did this because I showed possitive for HPV, other than this both of us are clean and have NO STDS.
Please help me, I really hate having to always either decline my boyfriend of sex or have sex to please him and then be in pain all day or use lube and have it be useless for either of us to have sex!
I know there are a lot of medications that can cause a decrease in your sex drive as well as "dry you up" so to speak. As to wether or not any of the things you are/were on fit that bill I'm not sure. You'd have to ask a doctor about that.
Obvious question: IS there a big difference in your size? Are you a tiny girl and is he particularly well-endowed? That might have something to do with it..
By any chance were you abused as a child? Either sexually or physically? It's not too uncommon for survivors of childhood abuse to experience pain with or after sex. Sort of a re-living of the abuse I guess. That is a possibility then and your best bet with that is therapy, therapy, and more therapy to deal with the abuse.
As for an orgasm it's not uncommon for a women your young age (20) to have difficulty achieving orgasm and a very large percentage of women will never, or very very rarely, have one with intercourse. Can you achieve an orgasm on your own? Or when you say "never" do you mean NEVER? Again that could be tied in to the abuse if it applies.
Mental issues such as depression can also screw with your wiring as well. It may be something that you can only work out with therapy and some medication before you can truly get to where you want to be sexually.
Any of this making sense?
Obvious question: IS there a big difference in your size? Are you a tiny girl and is he particularly well-endowed? That might have something to do with it..
By any chance were you abused as a child? Either sexually or physically? It's not too uncommon for survivors of childhood abuse to experience pain with or after sex. Sort of a re-living of the abuse I guess. That is a possibility then and your best bet with that is therapy, therapy, and more therapy to deal with the abuse.
As for an orgasm it's not uncommon for a women your young age (20) to have difficulty achieving orgasm and a very large percentage of women will never, or very very rarely, have one with intercourse. Can you achieve an orgasm on your own? Or when you say "never" do you mean NEVER? Again that could be tied in to the abuse if it applies.
Mental issues such as depression can also screw with your wiring as well. It may be something that you can only work out with therapy and some medication before you can truly get to where you want to be sexually.
Any of this making sense?
i experience the pain and swollen, redness after sex regularly aswell, mine usually last the same length but im sensitive for up to 3 or 4 days later. i havnt found a cure or tempory fix only that paw paw ointment that you can buy from the chemist REALLY helps with the pain.
as for not getting wet and lube being a pain have you tried oral stimulation before sex? it helps get wet (saliva) and may also be a turn on? i often lack the urge for sex and hence find it hard to get wet, until the sex has started, and foreplay never helped, just hurt, apart from oral stimulation..
if you find a cure of fix for the pain and swelling please let me know, as i will do for u :)
good luck, sorry i cant be of much assistance!
as for not getting wet and lube being a pain have you tried oral stimulation before sex? it helps get wet (saliva) and may also be a turn on? i often lack the urge for sex and hence find it hard to get wet, until the sex has started, and foreplay never helped, just hurt, apart from oral stimulation..
if you find a cure of fix for the pain and swelling please let me know, as i will do for u :)
good luck, sorry i cant be of much assistance!
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Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
