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My boyfriend has no sex drive and he's 19

I don't really know how to go about asking this so I'll tell everything the best I know how.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years in March. The first two months we was together it was like we has horn-dogs. It was foreplay everyday, twice a day. Well days,months,years went by things started slowing down. Like we have a great normal relationship, we're open with each other about everything, we have our arguments but who doesn't? I would consider us a happy couple. Anyway For the past.. 7 months sex has came up in conversation and it's something we're both wanting to save til we can have our own place and be alone and not worry about parents coming in from time to time. But the foreplay has pretty much stopped completely. He swears we do it 4-5 times a week. But I beg to differ. We're 19 years old and I would consider it normal for teenagers to be horny often. It's almost like I have to beg him to do anything, it wouldn't matter if I got butt-naked and tried to initiate it he will say "I don't want it", "my stomach hurts", "i'm not in the mood". The only time we get to do anything is when he wants it and can call the shots. He's just never horny ever. It doesn't matter. We've talked about why this could be happening and he just doesn't know. Some friends have told me that sex anorexia could be the issue? I don't know. I've asked him to go to the doctor but he won't. We've talked about vitamins and such but I just don't want him talking something that could ruin out sex life later in life. Is this a serious problem, and can it be fixed? Because this is causing us some major problems in our relationship.

I feel that sex and foreplay is normal and comes with the whole package. I don't understand. It just makes me feel unwanted in so many ways.
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Avatar universal
Before I could even start listing possible diagnoses much like others have done already there's some much simpler possibilities to consider.

Starting with the obvious.. it would only be a sex drive issue if you were HAVING sex. Although, many couples may make some sort of agreement with each other the truth remains that one or even both members of a relationship may not actually be happy with their decision at that time or later on they may change their minds.

Is it a possibility that the foreplay has stopped for the most part because one or both of you have become discontent with just playing around?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
No vitamin I know of, but there are some natural aphrodisiacs, you can try them, as long as he is not allergic to them.

Following is a small compilation of 10 such natural aphrodisiacs or libido enhancers for men:

1) Ginseng

It was first discovered by the Chinese and has been used as a libido enhancers for thousands of years. Ginseng is one of the bestselling herbs in the United States. In much of Asia, ginseng is prized as a revitalizer for the whole body, partly due to the human-like shape of the root.

2) L- Arginine:

This is not a herb but an amino acid and it helps increase the production of nitric oxide which helps you achieve rock hard or firmer erections. It is also called the Nature's Viagra. Foods that are rich in L-arginine include Oatmeal, Peanuts, Cashews,Walnuts, Dairy, Green Vegetables, Soybeans, Seeds and Chickpeas.

3) Fo-Ti

Fo-ti is also called he shou wu, which means "black-haired Mr. He" in Chinese. This name refers to a legend of an older villager named Mr. He who took fo-ti and restored his black hair, youthful appearance and sexual vitality.

4) Horny Goat Weed

This one is also credited to the Chinese and it was discovered when a Chinese goat herder noticed increased sexual activity in his flock after they ingested the weed. It is increasingly being used in treatment of erectile dysfunction.

5) Damiana

Damiana is found in Mexico and the southern US. It is used as a libido enahncer for both men and women.

6) Tribulus Terrestris

Tribulus terrestris has been long used nin the Ancient Chinese and Indian medicine systems to improve sexual desires and potency in men. However, It was only in the mid-90s when Eastern European Olympic athletes claimed that tribulus contributed to their success that tribulus became known in the North America.

7) Tongkat Ali

Tongkat Ali is a tree found in Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand. It is used as an important ingredient in treatments for erectile dysfunction. It is also called the Asian Viagra.

8) Maca

According to folklore, ancient Incan warriors took maca before going off to battle to make them physically strong. However, they were later prohibited from taking it, in order to protect conquered women from their heightened libidos.

9) Muira Puama

Muira puama is one of the finest herbs to use for erectile dysfunction. This shrub came from Brazil and has long been used as an effective aphrodisiac and nerve stimulant in South American folk medicine. Its safety and effectiveness in improving libido and sexual function in patients has validated from clinical study.

10) Yohimbe

Yohimbe is an evergreen tree that grows in western Africa in Nigeria, Cameroon, the Congo and Gabon. Yohimbe bark extracts are widely promoted online and in health food stores as a natural aphrodisiac to increase libido and treat erectile dysfunction.

Apart form the above there are many more herbs that are used in various formulations for libido enhancement and treating erectile dysfunction or impotence in men. Some other common names include ginkgo, catuaba, hawthorn, herba epimedii, acai fruit etc.,

PROVACYL is a pill formulated specially for men not only to enhance sexual potency and function but also to improve overall health. It does not have any side effects and is approved by doctors. Moreover, it does not require a prescription. It gives your erections the power they have been lacking and also adds lust back to your sex life. Moreover, it rejuvenates your entire body and youthfulness by stimulating the growth hormone. Testosterone and Male Libido


I recommend NOT taking yohimbe unless his circulatory system and blood pressure are a ok.

Also, if he is healthy, "nitro 2 go" makes a sexual enhancement pill that works pretty good.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
ED isn't the problem. He can get it up he just doesn't get Horney. There isn't any possible way he's seeing someone else I live with him an see him day in, day out. That also eliminates drug use. However he is on this health kick lately. Goes to the gym takes protein and daily vitamins. But he eats like pizza and subway like his eating habits hasn't changed since I've  meet him so idk  Is there a vitamin he could take to help his sex drive but not harm it later for us in the future?    
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
There are a few main reasons.

He has ED, he is seeing someone else, he has a problem you don't know about (gambling, drugs, ect), or he has something in his diet that is making his sex drive go down drastically.

I hate these problems because I don't want to bring up non physical reasons this could be going on.

Do you notice anything suspicious?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
We've talked about it many of times. Every time it comes up we talk about it.  He says he just can't do it he has to say no. It makes no sense
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Have you come out and asked him about it, like not a light conversation, but laying it all on the line?

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I don't have a odor. I asked him when I read this. Plus we've always been open about that stuff and I try to always be clean.
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Avatar universal
You can ask me here. No one knows me. Plus I'm pretty open anyway
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ive acted like he is acting before. Its because the girl had odor problems and after a while its just not very much fun to fool around, but I still cared about her emotionally.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I can go over stuff here, I had some questions. If you feel more comfortable with messages instead we can do that.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Also, if he knows I'm trying to make him horny, he tells me to stop that he doesn't want to  be horny.
Helpful - 0
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