Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Need some advice on my sex drive issue

So a little background first...  Im 29 and overall in good health.  I have had off and on depression issues for a good amount of my life.  I could defiantly use some more exercise in my life.  I dont really smoke cigarettes that often maybe a pack or so a week.  I do vape constantly though.  I drink beer most days, but usually not more then 2 a day.    

So for the last 4 years I havent had sex.  (which in its own right is pretty depressing)  Naturally, I masturbate to compensate.  Which involves plenty of porn off the internet.   I often would get the feeling of loneliness and no hope. (what if I never find the right woman and live by my self for ever?) Its not that I wouldn't try to find a good girl to date or even just to hook up with.  I just didnt have much luck.  A few times I fooled around but nothing more then that.  

In the past before my four year sex hiatus,  I never had issues with performance and finding a willing partner.   I was always good to go.  

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago... I finally have a met a really cool girl that I dig.  We hang out and head back to her house.  We start fooling around and Im really into it.  It feels good to get back in the driver seat so to say.  Problem is   is when we went to the bed room  I could not maintain an erection.  I got a couple of pumps in and it went limp.  It was pretty embarrassing.  She didnt get upset and was pretty understanding.  Well we hung out again this weekend.  And I had the same issue again.  I really want to remedy this issue.  I dont really want to try and rely on boner pills from the porno shop or gas station.  I kinda like this girl and do not want her to lose interest in me because I cant hold an erection.  

Im fearing that watching porno for four years has taken a toll on my libido.  Along with the fear of rejection for not performing well.
What kind of advice do you guys have for me to fix this situation.  I know I should probably exercise more (just from doing some research on the subject)    But should I totally eliminate watching porn?   I dont have insurance so going to the doctor for a testosterone check is kinda out of the question.   Is there food I should eat or food I should cut out of my diet? Are there any supplements I could take? Is this all a mental issue?  LIke I said any help would be greatly appreciated.  
Thanks alot  
2 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
139792 tn?1498585650
COMMUNITY LEADER
Quite comprehensive plan to get back your sexual vigor.You may google few exercises; male deer exercise, kegel exercise. Satkriya, anal peripheral prostate massage( can be used by female as well for this purpose.).
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ideally, for your overall health and erection issues, you should stop all smoking, use of vapor, and daily beers.  We've all known about the effects of tobacco, but vapor has problems of its own.  Alcohol is too sedating for help with your sex life.  Also, if you want to be sexually active with your newfound partner, you should stop all masturbation and use of porn which depletes your sexual energy.  If nothing else, do a walking program of at least 20+ minutes per day, whether outside or even just inside from room to room.  Eliminate sugary drinks and try to eat wholesome foods of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.  Enough sleep is important.  If you've been depressed for some time, hopefully you have been to a doctor.  If not, try to get help.  Do not push for intercourse right away.  Enjoy extended foreplay and oral sex, if you both are agreeable.  Twice a week or so, you might allow your girlfriend to give you a slow handjob while you sit back without having to perform.  Then, in time, you will become at ease gaining an erection and ejaculating in her presence, also proving to yourself that your "plumbing" is up to speed.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Sexual Health Community

Top Sexual Health Answerers
139792 tn?1498585650
Indore, India
Avatar universal
st. louis, MO
Avatar universal
Southwest , MI
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.