Performance Anxiety help

[tim341]

I'm a 20 year old male and I've been suffering with performance anxiety for as long as I can remember.Last year I saw a doctor about this and she examined and took blood for me and told me I was healthy and doesn't see anything wrong with me.I'm in a really good relationship right now and we attempted sex quite a few times and it just ends bad.I'm hard when my clothes are on but when I take them off I lose it right before I penetrate. I tried every  technique I could thing of to not think about getting hard. For example take deep breaths, thinking of something gross or unattractive but it still never works. I can get hard on my own and I do watch porn and masturbate maybe almost everyday if this helps. Also whenever I'm doing sexual things with my girlfriend my heart beats really fast. The thing about the whole thing is I don't feel that nervous but my body always acts nervous!But I admit I am a little nervous because It's my first time having sex with her.I really do try and relax too.Can someone give me some real advice on what I need to do to overcome this. One thing I would like to add is I think my anxiety is so bad it even effects me with life outside of bed.

[Dalubaba]

visit website of Urologyhealthcare.org for fruther information on medical information on ED.

[Dalubaba]

There is always fear of failure.This causes premature ejaculation or lack of erection. This can also affect other activities of your life.
A teaspoon of the amino acid Arginine in a beverage fifteen minutes before intimacy. It acts on the vasculature that supplies blood to the penis. this is suggested by caregiver222 in the erectile disfunction community. Study Arginine and you may talk to your doctor and take this Amino Acid. It may help you. wish you best of luck.If you reach orgasm once, you will regain your confidence. Do not see porno and do not masturbate till you improve your performance with your girl friend.

[tim341]

I also am depressed if that means anything.I can't get the negative thoughts out of my head.I try breathing but I go soft right as I try to stick my penis in her vagina.I want to avoid telling her my problem and conquer this anxiety.

[Czezcky]

Don't masturbate,  for a few days. Then try to have sex. You should see an improvement in your performance.

[Dalubaba]

Thank you , remar. Your endorsement to the suggestion will convince tim to have sub goals and achieve his main goal. I have another technique which will help him to have an effective fore play.
Tim; Google Breath to orgasm or some similar phase. There you will find three types of breathing with your partner. Simultaneous breathing, alternate breathing and circular breathing. You can sit cross legged facing each other or   cross legs with her and do this type of breathing. learn about breathing details from the website. This will remove fear of failure and bring harmony between you.This will be an excellent fore play.I am sure she will have no grudge against this technique.

[remar]

I agree with Dalubaba. Your girlfriend has to be cooperative and agree to take baby steps. Being intimate should be fun and there should be no rush. I do understand the anxiety though. If you keep things light and just try to have fun I think you will be alright. Just enjoy and try not to worry about lasting too long, not long enough or your erection. I know, easier said than done. Try what Dalubaba said and see how things go.    

[Dalubaba]

If your girl friend is cooperative, you may start with baby steps i.e keep easy goals in initial stages. just keep your organ on her vagina for 10 minutes without penetration.Do this for some few times.When you can do this, go to second stage like penitrating slowly. Stick to your goals every time. Of course  you will require full cooperation from your partner.To satisfy her, you may masturbate her if necessary.Some times sex therapist do suggest this technique.

[tim341]

Yes I also worry about how long I might last too.And I can get a erection if I go back to foreplay but then when I go to penetrate I get soft and it's really bothersome.

[Dalubaba]

To overcome the initial jitters , you can masturbate one our before you meet her. This will help you to overcome your excessive sexual urge. For a sustained performance, learn abdominal breathing. Practice it regularly and use it whenever you want to control your sexual urge.Regular practice of breathing is important.
Please Google  breath to orgasm. here you will learn three types of breathing. one is simultaneous, second is alternate and third is circular breathing. This can be useful for foreplay.This will enhance mutual love and respect with your partner.

[remar]

Keep trying. Even after you've lost your erection try again. You know that psychically you're fine because everything is alright when you're alone. Your heart beating fast is perfectly normal. Performance anxiety can make you lose an erection.  You already know that of course. Are you afraid you may not last long enough, or maybe last too long? Are you able to get another erection if you and your girlfriend start foreplay again?