Porn a Real Problem

[crazywillie]

Or how to nearly wreck your sex life in one easy lesson, I have been viewing porn on and off for 30 years, since I got my first computer 10 years ago I have been looking at porn pretty much all the time, this of course involves masturbation.
I have noticed over the past 3 months or so that it is getting harder to find porn that turns me on, I guess I have masturbated to just about all types but now searching for that buzz scene that gives satisfaction is almost impossible, I sit for hours with a half erect penis precum ozzing out of my penis but just cant find anything suitable for that great climax.
I have noticed lately that if I turn the computer off and dream about past sexual encounters etc I have no erection problems and orgasm with ease.
I have been trying to give the porn habbit away for some time, now I realize I realy need to.
This poses a question - do other forum members think the regular viewing of porn could be responsible for wrecking the viewers sex life?.

[newdude]

Holy Smokes!

After reading this thread, no wonder crazywillie left the forum.  I don't blame him, I would have left too after all this malarky!  Good God, I hope you're all proud of yourselves.  I'm going to miss crazywillie.

[Tommy420]

Try to not masturbate or watch porn for a full week...your problem will be gone!

[chris909]

I actually had the same problem not too long ago.  What I did was I took one to two days off from masturbating and this actually helped a lot.  Nowadays I only masturbate when I desperately feel the urge.  You have to understand that whenever you do something everyday, the novelty is naturally going to eventually go away.  Take a break in between and I think the joys of onanism will come back soon enough.  

[dka25]

slow-healer thank you for pointing out that this for support not put downs... say what you need and leave it at that! and crazywillie i believe that porn does not ruin a sex life, i think you can get bored with it as easily as anything else.  if you are continually doing sex in only one position it can get boring, at least it can for me. i think porn is the same way.  if it isn't helping anymore, than continue with the fantasies!  i'm sorry for the other posters... i hope they have not ruined this for you too much...

[crazywillie]

Thank you.

[smeghead]

nothing wrong with the name "smeghead" I'm from the UK and we have a TV programme called "Red Dwarf" with a character called  "smeghead"  - just do a google search for  "smeghead" and you will see

also I asked the question about "keeping the penis erect for hours" for my own benefit as it is something I have engaged in to conserve semen and since crazywillie mentioned it, I thought I would ask for his wisdom as he is an OAP and I am in my thirties but look younger

It is true that my post probably isn't of any help to crazywillie , but others may have the same question as me and this topic seems to be warning of the problems of porn rather than asking for advice on the subject

[slow_healer]

Why should the OP "appreciate" condescending advice about masturbation in a forum for sexual health (for the purpose of discussing topics such as masturbation). From someone named smeghead? Is that name supposed to be some vulgar joke?

Neither is belittling the subject matter (choking the chicken? geez, you're eager to help, now aren't you mr.lucky).

I think the OP has gotten the answer to his original question: do other forum members think the regular viewing of porn could be responsible for wrecking the viewers sex life?

According to this forum, neither porn nor "choking the chicken" is acceptable; apparently it's all deviant behavior. Period.

crazywillie, this forum is NOT representative of responses to your question in general. It seems to reflect a biased sample of people who come on a sex forum to criticize people asking about sex.

[mr.lucky66]

N ow you are upset. You started this and should be ready for advise or don't start the post. Choking one's chicken too much and warching to much porn leads to trying to forming relationships with magizines or computers and not real people.

[crazywillie]

A very good question Mate, I dont realy know I went under the knife and had a sex change operation last week, I now have a Vagina, maybe you should try it, that is if you havent already, let me know how you go, passing that information on is about as useful as **** on a bull.

[smeghead]

I wondered where you'd gone

is there any risk attached to keeping the penis half erect for hours ? and if you had found "something suitable for that great climax" would you have continued playing with your penis or found something else to do with your time

[crazywillie]

Crikey if Porn Stars are looking for another job after "Debbie does Dallas" they must be looking for an old aged payment or superanuation, my question in the original post was and still is " Do you think watching to much porn can wreck your sex life?", how on earth did all this other garbage get into it?, talk about drifting off the original subject, Yikes.

[mayflowers]

Give it up?  One last point and them I am done with this post.  How are they going to get another job when their last job was Debbie Does Dallas?  Plus that business is very alluring after a while with the money and drugs and  "fame".  Traci Lords couldn't  do.  Jenna Jamison couldn't do it and BTW, she is also anorexic.  Those are 2 most of the general public knows but does the general public look at them as serious actresses?  Nope.

Abuse works a person's psyche long after the physical abuse has stopped.  Even when they do get into another business they will have issues to work out before they begin to feel good about themselves and other people.  It can happen but it takes rehibilitation.  I believe anyone can change is they want it bad enough.

[crazywillie]

Well thats very nice, you know I havent bothered about this forum for a while, mostly because of false and misguided information given by some people, last night I recieved an email re this thread, someone had posted a reply, feeling a little bored I decided to take a look, it has taken less that 18 hours for me to understand why I stopped bothering about it, I realy dont mind what you think of me or others that watch porn, people are involved with making those movies for one reason, money, if things are so bad in the industry the performers have the same choices as I do as a viewer, give it up.

[mayflowers]

"I have been trying to give the porn habbit away for some time, now I realize I realy need to.
This poses a question - do other forum members think the regular viewing of porn could be responsible for wrecking the viewers sex life?."

I was trying to answer your question posed in your beginning post which my answer would be yes, porn can wreck a sex life.  It often wrecks a relationship.   I don't like porn for the reasons I stated in my other posts.   It's like having a little bit of heroin....there's no such thing IMO.  You take a little bit, it feels good, serve a purpose but then after a while you need more and more of it to get the original feeling.  And, you will do what you have to do to get more heroin at the expense of your health and your family's health.  

How was original post supposed to help others?  I missed that part.  Are you trying to stop people from even getting started on porn?  Then why did you say that watch it b/c you love your wife and you don't want to bother her?  

I've read many posts where seemingly "nice" people like to watch porn & think it's ok.  I just wonder if they knew what was behind the porn movie they were watching if they would still think it's ok.  One woman told me she didn't care about the people in the porn movies.  Maybe that is my problem, I do care about those people and they are the ones I am trying to actually help.

I am not trying to condemn you but give you an honest opinion of your situation.  You can't post a question and not expect people to answer a post in the way they feel is right now can you?  This is a free public forum crazywillie.  I've been chastised plenty of times.  I am being honest with you however I am not condemning you b/c I think you have a problem & need to see what I see when I read your post.  

[crazywillie]

Regarding your comments-

(If you don't want to "bother" your wife with your sex, why don't you find a hobby like building homes for the homeless or working at a soup kitchen.)

Very hard to do when you live in a small community in Outback Australia.

(Or learn to paint or cook or rebuild cars.)

You are assuming that I have lots of money, I have hobbies that consume time eg Reading.

(Sex is not all there is in life).

Do you realy think I need to be told that at 64 years of age, I am not some irresponsible idiot, I have reared seven children, have 19 Grandchildren and one Great Grandchild on the way, for goodness sakes give me some credit, once again my sole intention of the original post was to help others not be condemed.

[crazywillie]

Sadly I dont need anyone to tell me about sexual abuse, I was mollested as a child.
I cant help feeling that I am being judged by your comments, the world is not perfect and I seem to remember someone once said "Take the log out of your own eye before you take the speck out of your Brothers eye, I think we should leave it at that, after all my original intention was to help people not to become addicted to porn, not to judge them and certainly not to be judged myself.

[mayflowers]

"Just remember some folks look at porn so they don't become a pain to someone they love"

That's an excuse if I ever heard one.  You are watching sexual abuse right before your eyes.  You are watching people who have been sexually abused and have been conned into thinking that this type of "acting" is an ok way to make a living.   They are probably on some sort of drug to get through the sex scenes.  Where your money goes, so do you.  

If you don't want to "bother" your wife with your sex, why don't you find a hobby like building homes for the homeless or working at a soup kitchen.  Or learn to paint or cook or rebuild cars.  Sex is not all there is in life.  Replace your need for porn with something healthy and you will see your desire for it disappear.   When the desire hits you to have an orgasm, masturbate while fantasizing about your wife or a beautiful girl.

You could be in a vicious cycle - watch porn, get horny, go to wife & get turned down, go back to porn.  If you take the first porn out of the scenerio, you are stopping the cycle.  

I do not see how someone can watch porn and not get desensitized to sex.  I've seen it with the men in my family and with people I know who like porn - even women.  Sex is no longer associated with love, but with some a physical release that people seem to feel is necessary to living.  Well, I "need" expensive jewelry but if I don't get it,  I will probably live to see tomorrow.  Sleep & food are what our bodies need to survive.  The love of a partner is the icing on the cake.

[crazywillie]

I am the original poster of this thread, I did not mention that I have been Maried three times, my first two Wives were not compatible with me sexualy, that of course is not the main reason why they are ex, many factors lead to marriage breakups but sex is part of it, the partners I have had in the past come on strong with love making at first but it gradually wears off, after making love maybe twice a week it soon gets down to once a week then by appointment only, this of course creates a problem for the partner that is highly sexed.

My third Wife of 20 years was sexualy compatible with me for many years, she is my soulmate and I love her dearly, in her mid 50s she started to slow down sexually, now 10 years later she is not as highly sexed as she was a few years back, because I love her so much and respect how she feels I have looked at porn and masturbated for about 10 years, yes we still make love but not very often.

Why am I telling everyone that reads this, well my point is not everything with porn is black and white, I am looking at this rubbish because I love and respect my Wife, she knows I do it so there is no problem, it is not my fault that I am still highly sexed at 64 yrs of age, it is not her fault she is not as sexy at 66, thats life.

Just remember some folks look at porn so they dont become a pain to someone they love, right or wrong love is like that, my advice to others is dont look at it all the time, as for me I am doing OK without it, as mentioned in my original post fantasy is just as good.

[mr.lucky66]

Thanks for your thoughtful post!

[mayflowers]

You got it right mrluck66.  I used to be ok with people watching porn until I met a young woman who was in a porn film and she opened my eyes to the abuse of it.   I did some research and now I see that while it may seem trivial to watch a film here and there it slowly deadens your feelings to where people become objects instead of human beings.  It just snowballs from there.  Taking something meant to bring people closer and then degrading and abusing it can't be good for a society.  Unfortunately there are a lot of broken people in this world, many of them on these forums.   I see people in denial all over the place about their relationships.    It really saddens me.

The best thing a person can do is find someone they are sexually compatible with.  That is a problem with many couples, they are too different in the sex department.  You have to have similar drives and desires.  If you have a low sex drive then a relationship won't work with a highly sexual person no matter how wonderful that person may be deep down.   There is nothing wrong with being creative but if your partner is a strict, keep still, no noise person, the relationship won't work.  If you like oral and your partner hates it, the relationship won't work.  It's so important to be compatible.  And don't settle either.  

But the best part of sex is the closeness you feel when you are with someone you really love. Knowing that this one person cares for you more than anyone else and you can be free sexually with them is a natural high.  It's an emotional bond that I believe is necessary for a good healthy life.  No porn movie will ever come close to that to making you feel that good and no porn movie will certainly ever make you feel good about yourself or other people.  Besides, I really find people that like to watch other people have sex kind of strange.

[mr.lucky66]

I agree with much of what you say! Porn is the root of much crime and comes from hell! Try real sex with a consenting adult instead.

[mayflowers]

When a person watches pornography, they are encouraging sexual abuse.  That's all it is.  The young men and women that perform in those films overwhelmingly come from sexually abusive homes.  Some have been raped at a young age thereby blurring the line between healthy sex and sex for money.  Drugs and alcohol are rampant in that industry b/c people need to dull their emotions in order to have sex, sometimes painful, and with many different people in day.

STD's are also rampant despite the fact that they are tested all the time.  Due to low self esteem, when they are off "work" they don't care who they sleep with.  Sex has become a chore or a way to get money.  It's not a way to show love and encourage close emotional bonds with a wife, husband, lover.  No, it's a way to survive.

The producers of porn will trick the actors into performing and once you have sex on film, your reputation is over.  Young girls think they are doing a modeling job but end up shooting a porn movie.  They are desparate and they are hungry so to survive the lure of fast cash becomes too much to turn down.

Here's a question for you:  Would you be proud if your son or daughter came home and said Hey Dad, I'm going to be porn star?  Would you be proud?  Of course not so why would you want to watch some other person child having sex?  That's just sick.  

I truly believe that people that enjoy commercial porn (not talking here about the hubby/wife making their own video's for their own pleasure) but commercial Jenna Jamison porn are sick and demented.  They need spiritual and emotional healing.  It is not ok to watch this filth.  

If you want to buy some toys or sexy outfits to play with your spouse, that's great.  Masturbation is fine.   Pornography is really a sign of mental illness.  You are watching other people have sex.  Is your life so devoid of any sort of happiness?  Don't you have anything better to do?  I guess not that why you do it.  

[Zilian]

Well, I think this is a good thing.

Porn should be banned from the Earth. I know it's good. Real sex is really much better, trust me. I haven't been watching porn movies for a long time now and I feel much better. It lures our minds. If you can avoid it, do it. I feel really better without porn movies. When I watch porn movies, I'm like "Oh ****, I ain't got no woman. I need to find one. I've gotta hit it." It's really annoying. Yes, stop watching porn for a long time and you'll like it again. For me, it's different. I'm not planning to watch a porn movie again. I'm single btw.

[mr.lucky66]

Porn is no good. I once knew an ex drug-porn addict. He hadn't touched either for many months and when he made the mistake of going to a adult book store, he paid dearly. He started smoking crack right way and lost everything! It's all connceted, drugs, porn, booze etc. I used to look at those mags when I was younger but now prefer a real woman instead of a magazine or computer screen