We can send each other private messages here at Medhelp. It can be better when you have a lot to say instead of trying to make a very long comment on a post.
I got your friend invite. Thank you. Check your page and it will say if you have a message or not. It will be at the top of your page under messages. Or, under my Medhelp. You will have a 1 or 2, however many private messages or notes you may have.
Thank you for your reply back. I would appreciate your help. I am not sure what you mean by sending me a private message - could you clarify? Beanie0
I know alot about BPD because my daughter has it. Are you getting DBT?
Maybe you should think about counseling by yourself the first few times. Then, you can take your boyfriend. It sounds like you really care about him and if you want this relationship to work there has to be honesty. Whatever happened in the past is in the past and your boyfriend will have to understand this. I really think he will if the two of you get in to counseling together.
I do understand your feelings, as much as I can. Anyone that has been sexually abused is not going to come out of it unscathed.
I have much to say so if you don't mind I'll send you a private message. Is that alright?
The thought of hearing my voice out loud about such a confused view on sex would frighten the life out of me. The counseling would need to be really structured. I would probably get fact mixed with fiction, because the memories; especially on particular occasions of abuse are somewhat blurred.
I expect Mark would come with me - I wouldn't want him to hear how fake I have been with him at times. I also wouldn't want him to know about my destructive unfaithful behavior.
Oh dear! It's all too much :-( I think the biggest step I've made so far, after a few years with Medhelp, is finally managing to venture onto the Sexual Health Forum.
I am diagnosed with B.P.D. which can be helped via D.B.T. or C.B.T. Therapy - which is great! Unfortunately this sexual issue I have is not so structurally solved.
I appreciate your reply, to squeeze you further though - Are their any other options towards changing the way I view sex?
Thank you :-)
You feel the way you do because of the abuse. It's not uncommon for people to develop eating disorders after sexual abuse. It's a way of having the control back that was taken away from them. I think people want to also make themselves unattractive at times so no one will hurt them again.
How wonderful that you're back with your boyfriend. I would recommend counseling before the two of you start to have a sexual relationship again though. It sounds like you only want to please him and not yourself. That's not how a loving sexual relationship is supposed to work. You should both enjoy it and it does'nt matter what size you are and what you're wearing. I know you feel differently because of the abuse.
Would your boyfriend consider going to counseling with you?