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Why can't I feel clit simulation during sex?

So I've been sexually active a lot lately, but not once have I been able to get off. I know I'm someone who needs clit stimulation, but when I'm having sex, I'll rub my clit and I either won't feel anything or it'll hurt. I also tend to not feel anything inside me after awhile, just pressure sometimes. Why can't I feel when my clit is being rubbed or touched? I have a toy that sucks on the clit and can get me off in less than 5 minutes, so I know it's possible. I'm not in relationships with any of the guys nor do I love them, can that be a reason why I can't get off? Is there something wrong with me?
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207091 tn?1337709493
If you can have an orgasm with the toy, you're fone. It might be that direct clitoral stimulation is too intense for you. The toy might be putting more focus on the areas to the side of your clit, rather than directly on it.

There are more than 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, and every woman is different. Some prefer direct stimulation, others to the side, some a mix, etc.

For some women, emotional intimacy is very important for sexual pleasure. Some need that in order to relax and let themselves fully enjoy the moment. Some women don't need that. One isn't better than the other - it's just who we are. I don't know if that's what's happening to you - only you can determine that.

So play around with different touches on yourself - where you touch, the pressure and speed of it. Maybe you'll end up just preferring toys, which is okay, too. :)

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A lot of women have a problem reaching orgasm.  It can be from different reasons, so there's no one reason.  For some it's guilt, as for centuries we've had religious and societal repression of female sexuality.  For others it's fear of pregnancy.  For some it's not getting to the right place.  Many women don't reach orgasm particularly through intercourse but almost all of them can with oral sex with someone who knows their way around a clitoris, which takes a lot of time for men particularly to learn because women don't offer much help and so it takes time to figure it out.  I had a long relationship with a woman who had slept with more men than you'd think one would have time to find, but never reached orgasm doing it.  When I gave her oral, she reached orgasm easily but the first time I did it she said, well, that's cheating.  She also didn't want more than one orgasm.  My wife, on the other hand, reaches orgasm just be having her breasts touched and because of this they and her clitoris can become so sensitive to her it hurts.  I believe it would stop hurting and she'd get into the pleasure if she just let it go on, as I found that out with my male genitalia -- early on after an orgasm it was so sensitive it hurt, just like you are describing, but over the years I discovered if I just relaxed and kept going I could extend my orgasm for a very long time.  I would caution, though, that if you do desire a relationship with someone, having only one way to get off can become a problem.  It can be a real turn off for people who don't share a desire to do the same thing all the time.  For that reason, I don't think it is fine to prefer toys if a relationship and love is something you want.  If it isn't, then it doesn't matter, but again, if only one thing floats your boat and a person you really want doesn't like that, you're not going to match.  There is something to be said about flexibility.  This is a problem I've had, so keep it in mind, but most partners will probably do what you tell them you like if they like you enough.  But I think this sensitivity in many people is a bit like being ticklish -- if you just learn to go with it the pain goes away and you're left with pleasure.  Peace.

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