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delayed ejaculation
My wife and I have been married for 30 years. The last ten years we did not have sex, for various reasons. I have been ill for seven years. Too ill to have sexual relations.
Two things have happened in recent months. The first thing was that my desire to have intercourse reapeared and is so strong that I hesitate to describe it. Much to my wife's delight, we have been having sex since the first of July.
The second "thing" that cropped up was noticed immediately, and we have been trying to deal with it as best we can.
I have been taking Alprazolam (Xanax), 1mg, three times a day for 7 years. I have always taken it every six hours and for the last year I take it four times a day. I have become dependant on it to the point that I wake up at 1:00AM every night and take a pill.
A reported side effect of this drug is delayed ejaculation.
I may have other issues at play, but I am sure that part of my problem with delayed ejaculation is the Alprozolam.
We have relations about every four days. Including a half hour or more of foreplay, a session lasts about two hours. My wife is 62 and after more than an hour of straight up getting it on she is physically unable to go on, and neither am I. She has many, many orgasms each time, and we both enjoy that tremendously.
During a session I will feel an orgasm coming on, and will spend several minutes at that last milisecond before ejaculation occurs. My wife can feel it as well as see that I am ready to fire. Then it subsides and I start the process over of building toward an orgasm.
I have not orgasmed with her once. It requires another hour of stimulation before I can release, and she has stopped trying to help manually by then because, SHE IS WORN OUT. I cannot blame her. She feels as frustrated as I do, and guilty, as if it is her fault.
It is not that I have numbness or reduced sensations. I am in bliss most of the time. I simply cannot get the trigger to release until my wife is snoring.
We have had to come up with various techniques to keep the chafing and soreness of mine to a minimum, but it still takes a few days to return to normal. The strain it puts on my body makes me ill for days, often longer than it takes to heal "it". My whole body is affected, as well as my mental function. I probably should not be doing this at all, but the drive to copulate runs right over my desire to feel well.
I will be taking Alprazolam for the rest of my life.
I need help, suggestions, something. We don't want to stop having sex after such a long dry spell.
I hope I have not been too graphic. I have left a few details out. I apologize for the length of the post.
Two things have happened in recent months. The first thing was that my desire to have intercourse reapeared and is so strong that I hesitate to describe it. Much to my wife's delight, we have been having sex since the first of July.
The second "thing" that cropped up was noticed immediately, and we have been trying to deal with it as best we can.
I have been taking Alprazolam (Xanax), 1mg, three times a day for 7 years. I have always taken it every six hours and for the last year I take it four times a day. I have become dependant on it to the point that I wake up at 1:00AM every night and take a pill.
A reported side effect of this drug is delayed ejaculation.
I may have other issues at play, but I am sure that part of my problem with delayed ejaculation is the Alprozolam.
We have relations about every four days. Including a half hour or more of foreplay, a session lasts about two hours. My wife is 62 and after more than an hour of straight up getting it on she is physically unable to go on, and neither am I. She has many, many orgasms each time, and we both enjoy that tremendously.
During a session I will feel an orgasm coming on, and will spend several minutes at that last milisecond before ejaculation occurs. My wife can feel it as well as see that I am ready to fire. Then it subsides and I start the process over of building toward an orgasm.
I have not orgasmed with her once. It requires another hour of stimulation before I can release, and she has stopped trying to help manually by then because, SHE IS WORN OUT. I cannot blame her. She feels as frustrated as I do, and guilty, as if it is her fault.
It is not that I have numbness or reduced sensations. I am in bliss most of the time. I simply cannot get the trigger to release until my wife is snoring.
We have had to come up with various techniques to keep the chafing and soreness of mine to a minimum, but it still takes a few days to return to normal. The strain it puts on my body makes me ill for days, often longer than it takes to heal "it". My whole body is affected, as well as my mental function. I probably should not be doing this at all, but the drive to copulate runs right over my desire to feel well.
I will be taking Alprazolam for the rest of my life.
I need help, suggestions, something. We don't want to stop having sex after such a long dry spell.
I hope I have not been too graphic. I have left a few details out. I apologize for the length of the post.
I will be seeing my doctor sometime in the next month to have annual thyroid tests run as well as discussing muscle problems I am having.
I'll discuss this issue with him at that time.
My wife has been very understanding, and I have reasured her that this has nothing to do with her looks or age or performance. We made love again last night. Before we started I told her we were not going to focus on my needs any longer. If it happens fine. If it doesn't, maybe it will next time.
It was a repeat of my first post. A wonderful session that wore us both out. I'll be sick and hurting for days now, but I don't care. My chronic illness has shrunk my world so much that I have very few pleasures.
Maybe next time it will be better.
Thank you for your thoughts.
I'll discuss this issue with him at that time.
My wife has been very understanding, and I have reasured her that this has nothing to do with her looks or age or performance. We made love again last night. Before we started I told her we were not going to focus on my needs any longer. If it happens fine. If it doesn't, maybe it will next time.
It was a repeat of my first post. A wonderful session that wore us both out. I'll be sick and hurting for days now, but I don't care. My chronic illness has shrunk my world so much that I have very few pleasures.
Maybe next time it will be better.
Thank you for your thoughts.
Once a "best answer" has been chosen, you cannot get it undone.
Have you discussed your sexual problem with your doctor? He may be able to prescribe a different medication instead of the Alprazolam.
Also reassure your wife that it is not her fault, nor yours that you are not able to "fire", but look at it that at least you both have enjoyed sexual pleasures and have been intimate with each other. In time, you may just be able to "fire".
Best wishes
Have you discussed your sexual problem with your doctor? He may be able to prescribe a different medication instead of the Alprazolam.
Also reassure your wife that it is not her fault, nor yours that you are not able to "fire", but look at it that at least you both have enjoyed sexual pleasures and have been intimate with each other. In time, you may just be able to "fire".
Best wishes
COMMUNITY LEADER
I understand your dilemma. Hormonal balance is a critical factor.Even if the level is abnormal, self treating will be dangerous.I wonder whether you can take second medical opinion.I did not take interest in hormones because of the nature of the problem.Especially in hormone therapy, some abnormality is ignored just to avoid unexpected results.
You may take the test and can show it to the doctor. He may interpret the report and can do the needful. Thanks.
You may take the test and can show it to the doctor. He may interpret the report and can do the needful. Thanks.
I was reading an article yesterday about men and the hormone estradiol. It was a poorly designed study that indicated men with a higher estradiol level took longer to ejaculate.
The specific study, and the results were flawed, which was obvious. It made me wonder, however, if I should have tests run on various hormones.
I know my testosterone is low, and my GP does not really want to address it. He feels that hormone replacement therapy would stress my body and set me back healthwise.
I wonder if I should have my estradiol level checked. It may be high, and perhaps adjusting some of these hormones would help me with this problem I'm having.
The specific study, and the results were flawed, which was obvious. It made me wonder, however, if I should have tests run on various hormones.
I know my testosterone is low, and my GP does not really want to address it. He feels that hormone replacement therapy would stress my body and set me back healthwise.
I wonder if I should have my estradiol level checked. It may be high, and perhaps adjusting some of these hormones would help me with this problem I'm having.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I reread the thread again, i find that you may be facing prostate issues. Direct prostate massage can be done by other person. where as indirect and external massage can be self. One is peripheral anal prostate massage and the other is abdominal prostate massage.
I am doing these two massages myself along with my yoga , exercixe, massage, cold showers.I am doing prostate massage, to reduce nocturnal urinary frequency.
I am doing these two massages myself along with my yoga , exercixe, massage, cold showers.I am doing prostate massage, to reduce nocturnal urinary frequency.
COMMUNITY LEADER
It is quite okay.While posting I always give priority to the result a recipient of the suggestion receives.My ego is not involved as I do know my limitations and natural limitations of the sexual subject.
Many a time our suggestion may be inappropriate. but it mat trigger some useful ideas. In the forum I take everything very lightly.
Many a time our suggestion may be inappropriate. but it mat trigger some useful ideas. In the forum I take everything very lightly.
I apologize for posting before thinking. I did not mean to offend you. You have been very helpful.
I should have contacted a moderator or contacted medhelp directly first. The only reason that my mistake bothers me is that the post is now duplicated as the first reply, which alters the flow of the thread. Other than the coffee enemas, the post was helpful.
Still, it was rude of me and I hope you will forgive me.
I should have contacted a moderator or contacted medhelp directly first. The only reason that my mistake bothers me is that the post is now duplicated as the first reply, which alters the flow of the thread. Other than the coffee enemas, the post was helpful.
Still, it was rude of me and I hope you will forgive me.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Another resort is REMAR. If you write to her she may be able to rectify your error .
COMMUNITY LEADER
Improve medhlelp suggestion ; you can write to this department explaining your error in selecting the best answer. If possible they will do the needful. Selection of your answer is not a big deal for a poster. I believe the most of the selections are accidental. MH prompts you to select an answer. and the poster just tick marks without giving a due consideration.So the opinion given is worthless.
I accidentally selected your reply above this as the best answer. If there is a way to undo my selection of "best answer", I would like to do that.
I did not find that answer helpful.
I think this "best answer" business is terrible, but that is a topic for another day.
I did not find that answer helpful.
I think this "best answer" business is terrible, but that is a topic for another day.
Dalubaba,
Thank you for your reply. It gave me a lot of info to look up. I appreciate the time you expended and the thought you put into it.
I am confused though.
The breathing exercise seems like it might help me to orgasm. I will definitely try that.
Kegels would help me shoot farther, and improve my erection, and I will do them.
The other techniques you suggest I try are described as ways to cure erectile disfunction and premature ejaculation. Those are not problems I have at this time.
Perhaps I misunderstand.
Thank you for caring, and I am willing to try other techniques if they will help me.
This experience has helped my wife and I to communicate our needs and desires, being quite vocal during sex about what we want and how we want it.
It has also changed our feelings about masturbating in front of each other and anal play. We have both expressed desires in areas of sexual play that we could not have uttered years ago.
I have a strong desire to explore my prostate and various things to do with that gland. I can barely reach it. My wife does not think it is gay (I was afraid she would think that) and we are looking at sex toys that I never imagined would find a way into our bed.
The sex is very good and I anticipate it will get even better as we expand our experiences. It's sad that we did not have this sort of communication and openess decades ago.
Right now I need a climax in a reasonable amount of time.
Thank you for your reply. It gave me a lot of info to look up. I appreciate the time you expended and the thought you put into it.
I am confused though.
The breathing exercise seems like it might help me to orgasm. I will definitely try that.
Kegels would help me shoot farther, and improve my erection, and I will do them.
The other techniques you suggest I try are described as ways to cure erectile disfunction and premature ejaculation. Those are not problems I have at this time.
Perhaps I misunderstand.
Thank you for caring, and I am willing to try other techniques if they will help me.
This experience has helped my wife and I to communicate our needs and desires, being quite vocal during sex about what we want and how we want it.
It has also changed our feelings about masturbating in front of each other and anal play. We have both expressed desires in areas of sexual play that we could not have uttered years ago.
I have a strong desire to explore my prostate and various things to do with that gland. I can barely reach it. My wife does not think it is gay (I was afraid she would think that) and we are looking at sex toys that I never imagined would find a way into our bed.
The sex is very good and I anticipate it will get even better as we expand our experiences. It's sad that we did not have this sort of communication and openess decades ago.
Right now I need a climax in a reasonable amount of time.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I started with 0.25 mg. of alprozalam in 1991 I reached to two mg. in 2010.I was using it sleeping meds. On the advice of a psychiatrist, I added 5 mg. of zolpidin(Ambien). Now I have reduced Alpro to 0.5 mg. with 5 mg. of Ambien. I agree that I am not happy with the result.But I pull on with somewhat fragment sleep.I am widower since 2004.We were almost celibate for last 10 years before she died. As she had heart problem, we did not pursue sexual activity.
I am now 84 and retired and enjoying my golden years. I have academic interest in sexual literature. So I post my messages in sexual health forum and do surf holistic subjects in the internet. That is the only hobby I have..
I am now 84 and retired and enjoying my golden years. I have academic interest in sexual literature. So I post my messages in sexual health forum and do surf holistic subjects in the internet. That is the only hobby I have..
COMMUNITY LEADER
You are lucky that your sexual drive reappeared after 10 years and you and your wife are enjoying sexual activity again. I think few road blocks can be removed if you do some exercises. You may Google the folloeing words or phrases. Select them, learn them and practice them regularly.
(Alprozolam does depress libido),
Male and female exercise. (Both can do simultaneouly as foreplay)
Kegelexercises;; Both of you can learn and do it while doing intercourse. This will give different sensation to both. Navel exercise/Udian Bandh-yogic kriya, breathing to orgasm, Anal breathing, First try male and female deer exercise.
(Alprozolam does depress libido),
Male and female exercise. (Both can do simultaneouly as foreplay)
Kegelexercises;; Both of you can learn and do it while doing intercourse. This will give different sensation to both. Navel exercise/Udian Bandh-yogic kriya, breathing to orgasm, Anal breathing, First try male and female deer exercise.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Sexual Health Community
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
To day I stumbled on a site of meditation which is quite unique.For preparation or to augment the effect of meditation, it has suggested coffee enema, coffee vaginal implant for male and female. Either it introduced by a genius or it is a fraud.But still it is worth looking. He has given good imagery for visualization practice. You may study it and think whether it is worth trial.you are lucky that your wife is cooperative.
http://drlwilson.com/ARTICLES/COFFEE-VAGINAL.htm