I am thirty something, with a couple of children, but have always had the desire (which has progressively gotten worse) to be a man. Basically, I feel like a man in a woman's body, since the age of five to now. I was wondering if there was a connection between this and the human brain, given the fact that I do have children, but the itch never really subsided. I am also attracted to men in all degrees.
However, I do role play, and pretend frequently that I am a man, by stuffing my pants with a couple of roled up tube socks, dry humping an imaginary woman, and fantasize about urinating in the upright position, just like a man, and it all seems so real to me. I feel as though my male sex organs are going to come out any day now, yet when the next day comes and I have to work with other men, I feel guilt ridden for what I have done the day before, yet still continue to do it in hopes to fulfill my desires.
I was wondering what the connection is with the brain, genetics and my uncontrollable feelings for identifing myself as a male?