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Pinches
I feel pinching all the way inside of my vagina. All the way in, where the head of the penis would touch at the end of the inside. I need to know if there is a way to fix it. With or without surgery, I don't care. I just don't want to feel this pain everytime I want to be on top or when he wants to penetrate me hard. It hurts all the time making sex not good. It pisses me off to no end and I have a good reason to believe that it's scar tissue giving me this pain I feel during sex. I REALLY want it to go away or I want to fix it but I have not a single clue as to what to do first or even if there IS a solution. This is why I'm here. Is there anyone that has the same challenge? Can someone help me understand why I have this and how to fix it?
Im new at this forum and i have some questions for u, i am 27 yrs olds married with one son, been involved with the same guy for about 10 yrs. our sex life always be perfect. i was on the birth control for about 3 yrs and i recently stop.. i wanted my body to go back to normal, since we wanted to conceive. but after stopping the birth control i been spotting a week before my actual period. i would always spot during sex and the spotting will last for about a couple hrs after. i ignore it at first because hey it happen once a month, but now im starting to have abdominal pain during sex, i had it before but people would tell me i wasnt arouse. trust me im a very sexual person,. two days ago my husband and I had sex and it hurt so bad that we had to stop. and the pain last for about one day, the same time i notice vaginal discharge, with a fishy smell, and i can feel uncomfortable pain deep inside my Virgina. can u give me any information of what is wrong with me!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi there.
First of all, what happens in Hollywood is pretty much what happens everywhere: people experience feelings of worthlessness because of family traumas, feeling unloved, etc., and it affects their sexual functioning. So you’re not alone.
As I said: to rule out anything physical, do see a gynecologist, just to be sure.
And you’re correct: it sounds like anxiety is definitely holding you back. Realize that this isn’t necessarily due to your sexual history, but rather your entire family background: you felt unloved, worthless, etc., and this can be even more destructive than what happened to you sexually.
Your entire experience probably affected your ability to trust. When we feel vulnerable (i.e., during sex), it’s difficult to let go and trust and let someone in. I suspect this is what you’re experiencing as “pinching” because you don’t let yourself get turned on enough. And, as I said, you’re probably having penis-vagina sex (p-v) when you’re not emotionally or physically ready. And as you also point out, you’re extremely inhibited. So you’re probably trying to have p-v sex because you want to please your partner and because our culture tells you that’s what you SHOULD want—even if it’s not the right thing for you just now.
Why not try slowing down and doing other things to build up trust and comfort? If your partner truly cares for you, he’ll be willing to back off and slow down. See my suggestions in my original post above. And it’s also time for you to see a caring woman therapist who is trained to help women with sexual concerns overcome past traumas and move on. If you would like a referral to someone in your area, click on the link to my name and leave me a message regarding where you live. The time is right for you to move on and begin to enjoy your life, value yourself and become the dynamic sexual woman you want to be. Good luck! Dr. J
First of all, what happens in Hollywood is pretty much what happens everywhere: people experience feelings of worthlessness because of family traumas, feeling unloved, etc., and it affects their sexual functioning. So you’re not alone.
As I said: to rule out anything physical, do see a gynecologist, just to be sure.
And you’re correct: it sounds like anxiety is definitely holding you back. Realize that this isn’t necessarily due to your sexual history, but rather your entire family background: you felt unloved, worthless, etc., and this can be even more destructive than what happened to you sexually.
Your entire experience probably affected your ability to trust. When we feel vulnerable (i.e., during sex), it’s difficult to let go and trust and let someone in. I suspect this is what you’re experiencing as “pinching” because you don’t let yourself get turned on enough. And, as I said, you’re probably having penis-vagina sex (p-v) when you’re not emotionally or physically ready. And as you also point out, you’re extremely inhibited. So you’re probably trying to have p-v sex because you want to please your partner and because our culture tells you that’s what you SHOULD want—even if it’s not the right thing for you just now.
Why not try slowing down and doing other things to build up trust and comfort? If your partner truly cares for you, he’ll be willing to back off and slow down. See my suggestions in my original post above. And it’s also time for you to see a caring woman therapist who is trained to help women with sexual concerns overcome past traumas and move on. If you would like a referral to someone in your area, click on the link to my name and leave me a message regarding where you live. The time is right for you to move on and begin to enjoy your life, value yourself and become the dynamic sexual woman you want to be. Good luck! Dr. J
That is a lot of information. I feel like it was a one stop answer seminar, you have an incredible talent for this stuff. I would just like to thank you for your kindness and help, this is exactly what I needed to understand. I was not injured and I did not have surgery. This is why I think I may have scar tissue, because there were a few times in my life when I had sex with guys that were a little large AND long if you know what I mean.
Do you really think that the reason I feel the pinching all the way in is because of anxiety? That's amazing to me because I can't imagine it. I don't know scientifically even how that could work but I do know that the mind is pretty powerful. Still, that would mean that my mind is controlling how I feel down there. Well then, how would you suppose I go about reversing it?
Dr. J, because of the events in my life I have been extremely inhibited when it comes to sex. I've never had anyone take their time with me and I never had a talk about the birds and the bees.
It's looking more to me than anything that anxiety is what's making it feel like it's pinching.
After it all and realizing what I did, I've turned things around and now life is good except for the pinching. I am finally coming into my sexual prowessness, finally, and I have this pinching sensation that hinders my performance. It's not allowing me to be me now, to be how I dream in sex. This man I have, he is suppposed to be the one to receive my honey but now I am left with this pinching. This is what happens in Hollywood, CA.
Thank You Dr. J for your help. You gave excellent advice.
Do you really think that the reason I feel the pinching all the way in is because of anxiety? That's amazing to me because I can't imagine it. I don't know scientifically even how that could work but I do know that the mind is pretty powerful. Still, that would mean that my mind is controlling how I feel down there. Well then, how would you suppose I go about reversing it?
Dr. J, because of the events in my life I have been extremely inhibited when it comes to sex. I've never had anyone take their time with me and I never had a talk about the birds and the bees.
It's looking more to me than anything that anxiety is what's making it feel like it's pinching.
After it all and realizing what I did, I've turned things around and now life is good except for the pinching. I am finally coming into my sexual prowessness, finally, and I have this pinching sensation that hinders my performance. It's not allowing me to be me now, to be how I dream in sex. This man I have, he is suppposed to be the one to receive my honey but now I am left with this pinching. This is what happens in Hollywood, CA.
Thank You Dr. J for your help. You gave excellent advice.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello.
First of all, I can't tell you anything about a physical condition. Only by a thorough gynecological exam can a physician diagnose what's happening. I don't know why you think you have scar tissue. Were you injured, or did you have vaginal surgery? If so, again, check with your gynecologist.
It's also possible that the pain you're experiencing is due to anxiety or other emotional issues rather than anything physical. Or you may be having p-v sex before you're really turned on. Some women let their male partners make all the sexual decisions, including when to have p-v. If you’re not lubricated and turned on, this can be painful. In addition, if your partner has little or no sexual experience, he might not be aware that both of you need to be very turned on before p-v sex, and that it takes time. You need lots of touching, kissing, etc. and whatever else turns you on. If you’re aroused but not well-lubricated, use a lubricant developed especially for women. I recommend Replens, available at your drugstore.
Another cause might be that you’re tightening up because of fear and anxiety. I’m wondering if you’ve received messages that sex is somehow dirty, harmful or wrong, or whether you’ve experienced something traumatic in your past that is causing you to fear penetration. It can be difficult to truly let go of negative messages about sex as well as past fears unless you have an opportunity to talk about them and process the experience so you can move past it.
Also realize that some vaginal openings are very petite, and some penises are quite large around. If this is true in your situation, and it’s combined with lots of vigorous thrusting and some of the factors mentioned above, pain and irritation can result.
Before attempting p-v again, it will be helpful to start with something small, like a finger, inserted just a teeny bit at a time to see how it feels and build comfort. You can do this during self-pleasuring or with your husband. Here are the steps: Once you’re very aroused, just touch the outside of your vagina. See how that feels. Breathe. Once that feels OK, then try putting a finger just a tiny bit inside, and again evaluate the feeling and breathe. You get the picture: break it down into small steps, and stop when you’re feeling anxious. Give yourself permission to go very slowly.
Once you decide to try p-v again, try going slow with only gentle thrusting. This could make a difference for you, especially if you’re feeling anxious.
It takes time to relax and learn about your body and its responses. But anything worthwhile takes a little time and practice, no? If after slowing down, letting yourself get turned on and lots of practice, you find you’re still tightening up, you might consider seeing a counselor to discuss whether you have any unresolved issues that are contributing to this. Good luck to you. Dr. J
First of all, I can't tell you anything about a physical condition. Only by a thorough gynecological exam can a physician diagnose what's happening. I don't know why you think you have scar tissue. Were you injured, or did you have vaginal surgery? If so, again, check with your gynecologist.
It's also possible that the pain you're experiencing is due to anxiety or other emotional issues rather than anything physical. Or you may be having p-v sex before you're really turned on. Some women let their male partners make all the sexual decisions, including when to have p-v. If you’re not lubricated and turned on, this can be painful. In addition, if your partner has little or no sexual experience, he might not be aware that both of you need to be very turned on before p-v sex, and that it takes time. You need lots of touching, kissing, etc. and whatever else turns you on. If you’re aroused but not well-lubricated, use a lubricant developed especially for women. I recommend Replens, available at your drugstore.
Another cause might be that you’re tightening up because of fear and anxiety. I’m wondering if you’ve received messages that sex is somehow dirty, harmful or wrong, or whether you’ve experienced something traumatic in your past that is causing you to fear penetration. It can be difficult to truly let go of negative messages about sex as well as past fears unless you have an opportunity to talk about them and process the experience so you can move past it.
Also realize that some vaginal openings are very petite, and some penises are quite large around. If this is true in your situation, and it’s combined with lots of vigorous thrusting and some of the factors mentioned above, pain and irritation can result.
Before attempting p-v again, it will be helpful to start with something small, like a finger, inserted just a teeny bit at a time to see how it feels and build comfort. You can do this during self-pleasuring or with your husband. Here are the steps: Once you’re very aroused, just touch the outside of your vagina. See how that feels. Breathe. Once that feels OK, then try putting a finger just a tiny bit inside, and again evaluate the feeling and breathe. You get the picture: break it down into small steps, and stop when you’re feeling anxious. Give yourself permission to go very slowly.
Once you decide to try p-v again, try going slow with only gentle thrusting. This could make a difference for you, especially if you’re feeling anxious.
It takes time to relax and learn about your body and its responses. But anything worthwhile takes a little time and practice, no? If after slowing down, letting yourself get turned on and lots of practice, you find you’re still tightening up, you might consider seeing a counselor to discuss whether you have any unresolved issues that are contributing to this. Good luck to you. Dr. J
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Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
