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Avatar universal

Identity question

I'm 26 and have always thought of myself as being straight and never questioned it. I've always constantly been very turned on by girls in real life situations since I was about 9 and consider myself to be more red blooded than most guys I know. I get erections in public places by just looking at an attractive girl.  The problem is that I've been using porn for years now and decided I would check to see if I was aroused by gay porn. I've checked before and have been aroused but this time I was intensely turned on, more so than I can ever remember and could have ejaculated without touching myself. Btw, it was a solo video of a muscular guy with erection. I have thought about it since and again I have become intensely aroused. I makes me feel really bad and filled with anxiety and I pray not to become aroused which I believe heightens it.
Also, I have read that plenty of straight guys become aroused by gay porn and the sexual act but this was solo and it is the fact I became probably more aroused than ever that really gets to me.

This has now made me question my sexuality which as I say I have never done before. I have always been in relationships with  woman (though I've only been in love once at 16) and as I say constantly desire woman I see day to day wishing I could sleep with them. I really love the female figure and I love being around woman and picture myself settling down with a woman once I find the right one. I have never in a real life situation been attracted to a guy whatsoever, could never picture myself kissing a guy and could never picture myself settling down with one.

Which brings me to my question. Based on what I have said do you think my intense arousal is just down to a porn addiction and a quest for novelty or could this be a sign that I'm at least bi-sexual? It makes me wonder because you hear of people 'realising' later in life.
Your reply would be much appreciated as this is really mentally effecting me and I need some closure on it.
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523042 tn?1212177895
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi John.

Please ignore well-meaning but ignorant advice. There's nothing wrong with you other than that you're human. First, about fantasies: as you might expect, the most powerful ones are those that are the most forbidden. For example, it's not unusual for a life-long Lesbian to fantasize sex with a man, since that's the most forbidden activity for her. It doesn't mean she wants to do it in real life--it's merely the most exciting in fantasy because it's forbidden. Because it's forbidden for you to think about men, guess what? That's a big turn-on. The more you worry about it, the more powerful it will become. You probably will never want to act on it, but if you do, so what? It's part of who you are.

And please don't worry about so-called "porn addiction." There is no such thing. It's perfectly fine to fantasize and look at imagery that turns you on.

The reason you're confused about orientation is because society itself is confused. We try to put everyone in a box labeled gay, straight or bisexual, when, in fact, there's no such thing.

You are who you are. Some of us are born with a strong sexual orientation to one sex or the other, while others of us are more flexible. The problem comes with trying to fit into one of these boxes. We feel we have to define ourselves; and yet, once we do, many of us feel incomplete and confused. That's because sexuality is fluid and indefinable. Many people have sexual experiences with both sexes throughout their lives, as well as falling in love with both sexes. And many people only fall in love with one sex, but are sexually oriented towards both. And vice versa. Life is SOOO complex!

And just to complicate things further, we can change many times over the course of a lifetime. You may be into women for your whole life, then men, then women, etc. We can never know what’s around the next corner. Tomorrow you might be walking down the street and fall madly in love with a hippopotamus in a tutu!

So the short answer is: resist putting yourself in a box and being defined by others. The longer you can do this, the more you can get to know yourself outside of these artificial categories and take charge of your sexuality and relationships. And if anyone tries to force you into a box, why not just say: “I’m sexual.” Period. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Hey John

Please don't be offended by my opinion, but I believe that you need to seek professional help. I am not a Doctor so I will not even attempt to analyze your problem but simply from reading your post its clear you could do with qualified help.
Helpful - 0

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