Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Help!!!

2 years ago I met a wonderful man who has a daughter at the time she was 3 years old.  I am divorced and have two teenagers (18 and 17).  His daughter and I got along so well, she used to kiss me, hug me and say I love you.  It was great.. It all changed about 9 months ago, she is now distant, she doesn't hug or say hi to me when she comes over. (her father and I become engaged a year and half ago and he has been living with me and my children since we became engaged).  I say hi about four times before she does (she is now 5), she doesn't want to be around me.  It has been killing me and now I have a wall up.  It is a huge strain on my soon to be husband and I relationship.  I love him but I can't handle this.  He doesn't do anything to find out what is wrong. Her mother is another story. I am not sure if there is something she is saying to her daughter.  (her mother had someone follow me and my soon to be husband).  Every time she is here I want to leave, I don't feel comfortable in my own house.  I feel like ending our relationship.  Help I cry every time she is here. (she is distant with my children 2).
3 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
134578 tn?1642048000
I guess all I could suggest is for you to see a therapist.  If your boyfriend's daughter doesn't like you and your boyfriend doesn't care about doing anything about the situation, then you have some deciding to do.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Maybe try having some special alone time with her.  A trip to the playground, a special treat, or time reading a book.  Make it be a time that the two of you will enjoy.  Also, let her have some special alone time with her dad.   You could even have a game night or movie night with everyone.   Pop popcorn or another snack and just enjoy the time together.  Hopefully she will come back to being the loveable kid.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm going through that as well with ss5 and daddy is not doing much to help the situation. He will not admit ss5 behavior is due to going through divorce and new step mom basically thrown into his life. Now he has to share daddy and feels like he is betraying mommy. My husband is avoiding the topic now that the kids have gone home and I'm left resenting him because there is no plan in action to handle on this. I just this and it helped...a little. I know he is having an issue and he needs his bio parents to explain that I'm not the reason they are no longer together.

Children typically have difficulty accepting step parents as they feel that the step parent is trying to replace their parent. Their anger usually has nothing to do with the step parent, only the role the step parent now plays in their lives.

So try not to take it personal if you feel your step kids resisting.
Helpful - 0

You are reading content posted in the Step Parenting Community

Popular Resources
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
6 essential foods for new moms (and their newborns!)
What to expect in your growing baby
Learn which foods aren't safe to eat when you're eating for two.