Hello. My BF and I have been struggling with his ex-wife's continual lies to my, for lack of better term, step-daughter, Liz. "Liz" is 12, and a beautiful, smart, brilliant girl who has enough issues as it is with the usual almost-a-teen issues and has adapted quite well to the whole extended family thing. The problem has been that for the past 3 or 4 months or so "Liz" has been exceptionally moody, miserable, and spiteful. My BF and I at first thought it was a kind of playing both sides kind of thing for more freedoms, spending money, etc. but then, after a while we had the sense that this was not the case (entirely). My BF and I learned that "Liz"'s mother, my BF's ex, has been filling my SD with horible and hurtful lies. The ex has always been a bitter, just plain mean woman, so her bahavior is not surprising and nothing new to my BF of 2 years and I. The problem is that the lies she fills my SD with have become horrendous and quite damaging to ALL of us. She has said, among other things, that I hate my SD and want to "get rid of her and have my BF to myself", that my BF was cheating on her mom with me and that's why they split, and things along that line. We all know these lies are ridiculous, but each week that we have "Liz" with us (it's a one week us, one week with the ex arrangement) there is a new lie that takes us a week to figure out, then she returns to the lying, mother. We expect that Liz is confused and we struggle very much with being patient and understanding, but the strain is at times completely draining. The ex has become more viscious since my BF and I decided to move out of our rental appartment into our own home but that SHOULD be her problem if she is jealious, but now she is hurting an innocent child in an effort to hurt my BF- and it is working. Anyone have any advice? How do I know when Liz is being a typical pre-teen "brat" or seriously hurting? How do I talk to Liz and let her know I care about her? How do I combat the lies without bad-mouthing the mother? Does anyone else know what I am going through and if you do, please tell me when it gets better!!!