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6456395 tn?1381452996

My Step-Daughter's

I have a 19 yr old pregnant step-daughter and a 16 yr old step-daughter. They are both stressing me out. The oldest is supposed to be moving out however she isn't moving fast enough. My 16 yr old is driving my insane. She gives me so much grief and heartache. We have caught her smoking and doing other various things she's not supposed to do. I'm at a loss. The bio-mother hasn't helped at all with the situation and she even gives the 16 yr old cigarettes (while  the mother herself is very drunk). Someone please help me. I'm at my wits end.
5 Responses
Avatar universal
You have to take a stand! Your husband should probably address the mother of his children and then the girls!
6456395 tn?1381452996
Thanks you. I've tried to get my hub to do something, however the mother is very stubborn and won't do anything about it. She says it's our job now.
Avatar universal
Looks like it may fall on your shoulders to get them to shape up then.... Its tough being a step parent but you can't just let them run wild. If the 19 year old feels so grown maybe she should ship out and pay her own bills.
6456395 tn?1381452996
The 19 yr old moves out this coming up weekend :) It's the 16 yr old that scares me. She's uncontrollable. If she doesn't listen to her father or her bio-mother, then why would she listen to me. I'm nothing in her eyes. I'm just someone who encourage her father ground her when she does something stupid and/or dumb.
Avatar universal
It's not as much as you are nothing in her eyes because nobody seems to be much in her eyes.  I've got a sneaky suspicion that when mom and dad divorced, they did all they could to "make it up" to this girl.  

From what you've mentioned above, it still sounds like mom and dad are playing the blame game and you are caught in the middle.  That's not fair and there are a couple of ways to take yourself out of the middle.

First thing is to have a nice little sit down chat with your hubby and "princess" and let them know that you are genuinely concerned for this girls health and you want to help, but you're not going to be pushed around.

Another thing to try would be to remove yourself from dealing with this girl all together.  Put it all on mom and dad and let them all know that it isn't your job and since you receive no support, you are throwing in the towel.

Another thing, have a heart to heart talk with your hubby alone.  Hold nothing back and tell him how this dysfunctional relationship is getting to you and you feel as if you've got no where to go.  This puts the ball in his court to make some decisions.  Let him know that you want to support him but are looking for support yourself.  If he tells you that it is not your business, then you'll know exactly where you stand in the whole thing.  Then of course it would be time to consider all other options including getting out of these peoples way and letting them screw the situation up more.  

I feel for you and I hope this thing works out.
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way off the beaten track!, BC
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