Yeah, I suffered much like you. It is a miserable feeling and a horrible internal fight to really do anything. I am sorry that you are going through this.
I was in therapy one day and the most simple of things was said to me. "If you don't like your current situation, change it?'' Before that day, it would have been impossible as I "knew" I was doomed. But that day was different. It hit me like a ton of bricks.... "change it".
It took a lot of work at first and I forced myself to do some of the things that I didn't care to do. Those things began to be a habit again and I realized I truly did enjoy those things. It grew from there and today I feel 100% better than I did since I was a child.
Make yourself do something new, or even start doing some of the things that you don't want to do. Push yourself with an open mind. You want to feel good, so you do things that make you feel good...not things that upset you and feed the depression.
Good luck to you and I hope that helps.
Hey Brice,thank you so much for sharing your experience. Brilliant !
A great plan too, something I want , not like trying to get out of bed to do dishes or paperwork. I'm in Costa Rica & I want to go to the new art studio I started building. It's almost finished , but I promised my Psycologist I wouldn't run crews & do construction work. Rather I'm to let nature work its magic & heal me. I'm very happy to hear you are enjoying life & doing so well. I will take all I can from your post. Thanks again for caring. Pamela
Yes, I have been there a few times.
The symptoms that you write are all typical of depression.
Although leaving things to nature to work its magic and heal you is a good theory, nature sometimes needs a gentle nudge or steered in the right direction.
Although it is very difficult to get motivated to get up out of bed and get washed it may help you to set small targets and do a lot of positive self talk to yourself. I always find if you have an appointment that you have to go to in the morning, it helps that you know if have to get up and get ready.
Make an appointment with your doctor and discuss with him how you feel. As well as seeing your psychologist you may benefit from an antidepressant or by seeing a counsellor rather than a psychologist.
Although you are in the position at the moment of not wanting to get out of bed and doing all the things that you liked to do and do not want to see anyone etc, being isolated is going to make things worse. Find out if there are any local groups that you could join, phone a friend or meet one for a drink.
This will be hard for you, but if you "force" yourself to do it, you will be amazed with yourself what you can do and you will feel so much better for it.
You have said that you promised your psychologist that you "wouldn't run crews & do construction work", but may be you do need to go and see the place and have that challenge to get your "teeth" into a project.
At this time of the year with shorter days and being cold and gloomy doesn't help.
Look at anything that you do as a step forward to getting better. You will have slip ups on the way and it won't be easy. If you have jobs to do at home and cannot tackle it, break it down into small junks. Make an effort to go out for a few minutes and build up gradually to get your self esteem and confidence back up. If it helps, make a list of the things that you would like to do at some time and the things that need doing and prioritise it.
Find out if there are any relaxation classes near your area that you could join so that you can learn strategies to help you deal with your stresses. And like brice1967 says, "if you don't like something, then change it". Even if you do a little change each day.
Have you had any blood tests done to find out if you have any medical issues that need resolving? Anaemia can make you feel like not wanting to do things and make you feel tired. Your doctor may do other blood tests to make sure everything is fine.
All the best
Thank you for taking the time to write a very helpful post. Pamela
Within your subconscious mind you retain a primitive ability to deal with every stresses in the same way. If you are threatened, your body will automatically make a dramatic shift into a heightened state of awareness by releasing adrenaline into the blood stream so that you can deal with the situation.
Stress is important as it indicates a situation to which you must respond. Stress effectively compels us to learn more about ourselves and the world around us.
Yay. I'm up in the art studio!!! First time this year. You guys have been so inspirational. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Pamela
Such a deep thinker you are. I know you are right though. When I was coming up here, to this place I haven't been all year,I stayed completely in the present mind. Are you familiar with Ekhart Tole? The Power of Now?
It is so great that you sound really happy and that you got the motivation and confidence to go to the art studio. This is a step in the right direction it certainly sounds as it has "perked" you up.
Keep a journal of what you have done and how you felt. So when you do feel down, you can read about the positive things and things that have made have made you happy.
This is why I suggested that you may be better seeing the right type of counsellor rather than a psychologist.
I'm not so sure I understand "letting nature take its course" unless it is in reference to the meds and therapy. I was kind of challenged to become an active participant in making myself better.
Stress of running crews and building a new studio is stressful. Pull back a little and if you go down there, do it with NO expectations. Accept the situation for what and how it is and know that it will be finished.
Its hard for a lot of people (and I was one of them) to realize that they aren't in control of everything. Once they realize they can only really control themselves and how the react to other people... life gets abundantly easier.
Jemma mentioned journaling. If you aren't journaling, you should give it a shot. It may reveal some triggers to your depression or the cycle you go through. It also allows you to be completely clear without the worry of someone judging you. Write down exactly what you feel.... You'll begin to notice that there are things to be happy about, and these are the baby steps you need to celebrate. I was so depressed that I never saw them until I had them pointed out to me.
This is a hell of a lot of work but it is doable and it is rewarding to fight for your life back, and get it back.
Hi Jenna & Brice- ok. I'll start a notebook. Good idea. You are right. The mind has a way of minimizing our accomplishments.
Regarding nature: the Ranch here in Costa Rica has primary rain forest behind. In front for the past 5 years my guys & I have been planting at least 100 new trees every year. Wish I could post photos, but not working with my iPhone. It's kind of far out concept, but the notion is "I loved the trees, & they loved me back. That's what I meant by nature healing. CA is too busy where I live. The psychiatrist & Psycologist just released me to return to my home here. I suffered an episode a few months back. Guess the term Nervous Breakdown isn't used anymore. ( but that's what happened. )
Thanks for writing back. Pamela
Oh, I understand now what you mean about "nature healing".
How beautiful. I love nature and trees and feel best when I am outside surrounded by plants.
When a person stops doing everything they used to do before and has lost all interest etc, (I've been there before) it is a nervous breakdown.
Glad that you are coming "surfacing up" again.
Do post pickies when you have any. Have a look at my profile, I have some pictures of Glen Affric in Scotland that were taken end October this year (2013).
Hi Jemma! I don't think this web site accepts my iPhone photos. Drat
I'll look at yours though! Nice hearing back from you. Pamela
I have sent you a message on how to do it.
Thanks. Right back at ya! Pamela
I live in the mountains and the outdoors is my church and healing grounds for sure.
When you start feeling bad about yourself for not getting out of bed then that means you are on the mend!
Thank you. You are right. I feel better airing my feelings. I am on the mend.
I still need a good deal of self motivation to get to the upstairs house, But I can do it. Started a journal too, right here on MedHelp. You guys are amazing & have really helped me. Pamela