Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Community
126 Members
Avatar universal

My baby died and i need hope!

Hi everyone i have only just joined tonight.  I lost my beautiful daughter at 3 1/2 months in November which shattered my world.  Then 2 weeks ago i found out i was pregnant again then miscarried last week.  I really need to know that other people have continued to life life and not just give up, lay down and die?
32 Responses
268698 tn?1222553884
My heart goes out to you, as a mother I couldn't imagine going through what you have gone through, don't give up hope, try to be strong, I know its easier said than done. We are all here for you, if you need someone to talk to.
Avatar universal
Thanks heaps :)
Avatar universal
I lost two kids. My daughter Lilly was 5 1/2 weeks old and she passed away from a congenital brain defect. Then a year later, we had our son Ryker. He was born with a broken heart, and had surgery at 5 days of age. He did really well, until he was 7 weeks and then formed a clot in his heart, and it happened so quickly there was nothing they could do. He passed away December 15, 2007. Don't give up hope. Through our tough times in life, we grow the strongest. What an amazing little angel your daughter must be, and how much that says about you is incredible too. It sucks though, there really is no fairness, but we must hold on to our faith of being with them again some day. Keep trying, your day to be a mother again will come, as mine will too. Being patient is the hardest though! Just take life by each day. There will be god days,and bad days too. And soon, there will be more and more good days.
293420 tn?1243142938
Have you heard of www.memory-of.com? It's a website where you set up an online memorial for your loved one. Most of the sites are made by parents who have lost their children (of all ages) and there is a HUGE support system on that site. It's also a place where your friends can leave messages for you and light candles in memory of your daughter. You can post pictures and write about your daughter's legacy. Many parents use the site as a place to "talk" to their children and to send them messages. There are thousands and thousands of parents on there and they are very supportive. Maybe give it a try if you feel up to it.

I'm so sorry for all of the grief and pain that you are going through. I hope you can find the support that you need...
Avatar universal
I cannot even imagine what you must be going through. I have never lost a child in that way but have had a mc and almost lost my son 4 times while I was pg with him and 2 times during his birth and he has had alot of medical issues. I know it's not the same but I just wanted to say that I feel for you and will pray for you, your family and your little angel baby. Don't give up hope! Best of luck and blessings! (I wish I could say more to help you but just don't know what to say except God is good and will help you heal over time.)
Avatar universal
Hi! I don't know how you are feeling exactly but I was relieved to see I wasn't alone.
My baby girl died on Christmas night and she was 5 1/2 months old. My daughter was my world and as the days go by I miss her more & more.

From Bianca's Mum
447195 tn?1205335357
Hi, i'm not going to pretend i know how hard it is to lose a child, but i do know how it feels to lose someone you dearly care about and i know it is hard. i was just wondering how many of you lost your child to S.I.D.S
Avatar universal
hi my sympathy goes out to you i lost my son to cot death aged 6 months in june 2001 i was devastated felt there was no hope went through the what ifs life does go on you need to talk it helps loads i now have 2 beautiful boys and 6 weeks pregnant and going for a scan next week as i have been bleeding .with my children i asked to be put on the coni scheme (care of next infant) you see a consultant that speacialises in sids a health visitor visits every week i am provided with a mr10 monitor which simply attaches to babys belly and if they stop breathing an alarm goes off i wouldnt be without this if u want to chat email i dont mind i know how u feel
Avatar universal
Avatar universal
Hi, my twins was born early in 28 weeks of my wife pregnancy in 15 May 2008, Spartakos 1100 gr and Kostantinos 900 gr, they had problems from day one because they were very wick and except the medications we couldn't do anything for them.
After 7 days yesterday 22/05 Kostantinos at 09:00 hours had a sudden inward bleeding all over his bobby and he pass away at 13:05.
Spartakos is still fighting....please pray for my baby, I don’t know what I will do if I will lose him too.
Avatar universal
my heart really goes out to you. but i know that God would give you grace and comfort. one of the most painful experiences in life is to loose a child of your own. i lost mine too in march last year and it still gets to me till date. but i have being comforted by God. i know you will be faced with crying sometimes pls allow the tears to flow it will heal you. also meet people who have had the same experiences they would really help you. pray a lot it would really be a source of comfort.
Avatar universal
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter to SIDS 16 years ago when she was 4 months. It was a very difficult thing to say the least. It takes so long to recover. If you hold in the greif it will come out in different areas of you life. I did some other things that really helped me. If you would like to email me Id be happy to talk to you. ***@****
Avatar universal
I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my daughter in 1985 to SIDS.  The Grief Recovery Handbook helped me so much, however it may be too soon for you on that one.  You really do have to feel this.  I agree with Spazzswife, if you just try to be "be strong" and "hold it in" the pain will manifest in other areas of your life.  It took me until 2004 to find the Grief Recovery and amazingly enough, when i went through the process I found there was something I had not dealt with in all the 20 years regarding her death.  The experience of losing a child forever changed me as a person and especially as a mother, but not all those changes were bad.  Please email me directly anytime.  I felt so alone when it first happened to me.  No one else really "gets it" if they didn't lose a child this way.
546288 tn?1214462897
Hi i joined today and your story is the first one i've read and it breaks my heart. I'm am so so sorry for your loss. I wish i could cash a spell to take your pain away but i can't, all i can say is take one day at a time that's all you can do. Coming onto this site has taken me back 17 years and re-opened my old wounds. I woke one morning to find my little boy Danny had passed away all alone. How did i cope i'll never know. I had 2 miscarriges befor him so when he arrived i was over the moon, can you imagine how i felt when i lost him. Of course you can and so can thousands of other people. I had no one to help me. There were so many questions i needed answering and even when they were answerd it wasn't enough. Why, how, i blamed myself and probrably still do.
I wish i'd had a site like this i had nothing. What i did was cry and cry and cry. I talked about it until i was Blue in the face and spent all my time sitting t his grave. That was my way of dealing with it.
I already had a 2 year old and people would say thank yourself lucky you have a child. There are so many stupid people out there, that was the wrong thing to say. It was an awful time and wouldn't wish it on anyone but time is a great healer. Get through one day at a time. Wait until your body is ready before you try again it will happen. I went on to have 2 more daughters so i have 3 girls. I was glad i didn't have another boy, he was the only one i wanted and that was it. He's pictures hand around the house and i take to him always. Come on here and pour your heart out write how you feel to get it out of your system. People here seem very kind and will help what ever way they can. Be brave x
Avatar universal
My baby Mariam was born 12th of July 2008. She died 26th September 2008, at 76 days old, 2 and a half months old. She had a few complications such as a heart defect that were minor and treatable, but then developed pulmonary hypertension, which is basically pressures on the lungs. I was by her bed side every day sinch she was born. I totally know how you are feeling. Agreat loss, an emptiness that no one can fulfil. People can only say soothing things, but at this time everything and every body is making you angry, it's making me angry. My baby has left me with great anger. I don't want to see anybody, why, because no one will ever feel what we are feeling. I don't ever wish this, the death of a child to anybody. I try to keep strong every day, but only to cry and break down every night. It is so unfair. But hey maybe one day we will get to reunite in the life after. Keep strong, look after yourself so that you can fulfil your dream of becoming a mother. My baby has tought me to take out more time for myself, to look after myself. Before i had my baby i was always working never had time for anything. When my baby was born i made all the time possible to be at her bedside every day for the 76 days. So you can make time for yourself, life is not all about making money and stressing. You need to take each day and remember your little angel is looking over you every day, hoping for you to be happy.
Avatar universal
My Little sister age 24 just lost her daughter Kayleigh age 3 months today. She was in her fathers care when the death occured. I am unsure how to help he besides offer to be here for whatever she needs. I am scare for her and what this may do to her. She is a recovering addict and she has been struggling with staying recovered already. Any input or advice anyone can offer me to help her?
Avatar universal
Just wanted to say how sorry I'm. I've lost my baby when I was pregnant 12 weeks, my baby died in a womb at 7 weeks gestation's, I didn't know until 12 weeks, I'd never ever forget that an awful night when I got to the hospital with minor bleeding and midwife after examined me told me that it doesn't look like I was pregnant 12 weeks, I started to cry but no one could help me, I was asked to stay in the hospital for over night, I cried all my eyes out all night, I couldn't sleep, I remember I even dream that my baby was alive, In the morning I was called for a scan and sonographer broke the news calmly that my baby died at 7 weeks gestation! I couldn't remember how I got back to my room, I felt that life was falling apart, I was in a such terrible shock that I even could not talk. I was told that baby need to be removed immediately due to sepsis risk. Still my little angel going to live in my heart for ever.... I think it was a punishment  that a year earlier I got pregnant and I was only 18 I decided to do an abortion, my heart is breaking still. I'm sorry my babies that I could not safe you and protect you.... My heart is going to ache as long as I live.
Avatar universal
im only 20... im so confused... i lost my son joshua just 11 days ago... and im so lost... he was only a month old. i barely got to hold him (in a sense) before i was back in the hospital to loose him... this SIDS crap is a bunch of bull **** i just want to know why god chose all of us and our children... why any children at all?
i miss my baby boy and your were obviously not alone... (i love you my sweet huni bear)
Avatar universal
I cannot even imagine what you must be going through. what you have gone through, don't give up hope, try to be strong, I know its easier said than done. It's something many fear, most have been touched by, and all will one day experience. We shall always pray for his eternal rest in the hands of God.

Good Grief Bear is targeted towards providing the needy a helping hand to overcome the grief and the grievances that they encounter in the harsh reality of life.
URL: www.goodgriefbear.com
Avatar universal
My nephew at 3 months old died today (22/12/2010) my brother did what no father should do, he held his sons lifeless body as he gave him mouth to mouth. By the time the ambulance (paramedics) arrived at the hospital thay knew they could not revive him. I held that baby, felt his heart beat, knew he was special. the most significant thing he did was die. his heart was too weak we are awaiting a post-mortum. 'misskriss' my whole heart goes out to you and no matter how many times you hear that the pain never goes it's too great. It still feels like he is still here, i just want to go to the house and find him but i know he wont be there. i just saw your post and thought i would share my story, from a 15 year old boys view.
   My Deepest Condolences.
Avatar universal
my baby boy died last month, he just 3 weeks old when he passed away
Avatar universal
My baby bubba died just over 3 months ago, he was 7 weeks and 6 days when we found him sleeping. We tried, the paramedics tried at the hospital for over 40 minutes but he was gone. I miss him so much it hurts more than i could ever say. My 4 year old was so excited to have a little brother and now he has been taken away. SIDS is not fair, no parent, sibling or anyone should have to say goodbye to their perfectly healthy baby!
It upsets me so much that so many people live with this grief. It happens often and there is nothing anyone could have done to prevent those deaths that happened by SIDS.
I was never brought up believing or not believing in god so it's hard when people say "it's god's purpose" i just dont understand it, i have too many questions.
All i know is my angel was an amazingly smart and clever little boy loved my his mummy, daddy and big brother so much. Our angel Tyler.
1618167 tn?1298745963
i lost my son may 26 2009 due to sids he was six months 19 days old... i will tell u it was one of the worst days of my life..my 5 and 3 year old daughters went in to his room in the morning and found him...my five year old had a few prombles after he had past..its is one thing i would want no one to experince...i miss my son so much and wish i knew what he would look like today..
Avatar universal
My beautiful baby boy - River - didn't wake up on the 7/11/11, just 128 days old. My heart is broken and I just need to hear from anyone who has lost their baby to SIDS. How do you go on each day? I need some sign of hope x
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